The Journey to Love 3rd Branch Love and Politics
by sissouthernink1994
Summary: Romance started after being friends 10 yrs. "The Real Thing" took on new meaning. 1 yr together, 1 break up, 1 outside relationship, 1 reconciliation, 5 elections, thousands of miles & 12 committed yrs later, Love and Politics still keep them together.
1. Intro

The Journey to Love: Love and Politics

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

2. I do not own the names of President and Mrs. Obama. They are public figures that I highly respect. He is my president because I voted for him and nothing in this fic will bring shame or degradation to his name, her name, their children or the Office of President of The United States.

3. I also do not own the name Barney Frank (D), the Congressman from MA who happens to be openly gay.

4. I do not own any of the music of Dave Koz (an openly gay man and one of my favorite jazz musicians), New Edition, Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis, or Boyz II Men. Yeah, I already know some of the songs I intend to use.

5. I do not own the following news/entertainment publications/outlets- The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, CNN, Headline News, C-Span, C-Span 2, The Advocate, Out, Fox News, and California Times.

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole, starting with the first chapter. There will be male/male sex and severe language. I can indicate changes as the story progresses. I don't want to see any flames. You have been politely warned. If you don't like male/male relationships or reading foul language, please click on something else. I won't be upset or offended, I promise.

**A/N**: The West Wing was one of my favorite shows that I watched while I was an undergrad. My friends knew not to call me after 7:45 CST because I was getting ready to watch the show. It didn't start at 8 p.m. in Central Time Zone but 7:59 p.m. They even knew not to call me during the commercials. Even after I graduated and was back in Memphis, I kept the same rule: call be before 7:30 or call me at 9. I've had to do some remember/researching; it's been a while since I've watched any episodes. I have to remember who some of the side characters are. I remember names, but I need to remember faces in order to picture whom I'm writing about.

This fic's frame (the fourth in my Journey to Love series), in my world happens after Santos is elected President. The first Latino President serves four years and decides not to run for a second term because of family issues. However, he supports a junior Senator from Illinois by the name of Barack H. Obama to become the country's first African-American president. Obama then returns the favor by supporting America's first Bisexual-turned-Gay President. Notice how I left out the Bushes altogether? Isn't writing from your own world wonderful? The fic is set for the current time with flashbacks. That's the part I have to research/remember.

**Journey Intro:** The Journey to Love can be a fun and enlightening one. It's one filled with plenty of turns and detours. Road signs are misinterpreted, if seen at all. Road maps are useless. No one knows the exact directions nor can anyone give advice on how to get there. No one knows exactly how it looks because everyone arrives at a different destination at different times. You'll just know when you arrive. But who's to say the travel plans won't change once you get there? Remain open to the journey. Sometimes it's the best part of the trip.

**Branch Summary:** Romance started after being friends 10 yrs. "The Real Thing" took on new meaning. 1 yr together, 1 break up, 1 outside relationship, 1 reconciliation, 5 elections, thousands of miles & 12 committed yrs later, Love and Politics still keep them together.

**S/N**: I was surprised when I did the spell check that these words Barack H. Obama, Santos, and Lyman didn't have to be added to the dictionary but Seaborn did. Odd.

**Update 6/16/10:** If you been reading and rereading this story, you might notice some changes. That's because of my remembering/research. I hope I've gotten all the inconsistencies straightened out. There will probably be more. Maybe the mistakes weren't important enough for anyone to notice, but when I'm dealing with real people with real searchable information; I think I should be able to get that right. For example, the year Congressman Barney Frank came out. I had the wrong year listed. I had Rahm Emanuel's name spelled three different ways and had published the chapter before I realized it. Thanks for reading. I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am. I have to admit, I like this one so much I keep reading my own story. *smh*


	2. The Dream

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole, starting with the first chapter. There will be male/male sex and severe language. I can indicate changes as the story progresses. I don't want to see any flames. You have been politely warned. If you don't like male/male relationships or reading foul language, please click on something else. I won't be upset or offended, I promise.

**Summary:** Romance started after being friends 10 yrs. "The Real Thing" took on new meaning. 1 yr together, 1 break up, 1 outside relationship, 1 reconciliation, 5 elections, thousands of miles & 12 committed yrs later, Love and Politics still keep them together.

Chapter 1: The Dream

"_Josh…please…slow down babe...I'm not…mmm…going anywhere…oh…" These were the words whispered by Sam Seaborn to his boyfriend Josh Lyman as he was kissing Sam's bare chest, teasing his left nipple._

"_I know, but I missed you." He whined. Sam laughed a little and pulled Josh's face up to meet his own._

"_I missed you too hun, but we have four__** whole**__ days together and all night tonight. You can slow down a little. We can enjoy ourselves this time. It's not an over night trip." He reached up and kissed him, Josh allowing his tongue in. A taste he hadn't tasted for three months. He moaned at the sweet familiar taste. Sam let his hands slowly move down Josh's back pulling his body closer to him, emphasizing the need to slow down. Each groaned as their impatient erections touched, causing electricity. A few more minutes of kissing and Josh was near the edge. _

"_Mmm…Sam…need you now…" He murmured into his neck. Josh had already prepped Sam with lube and was just waiting for the moment. Sam nodded that he was in need as well. Josh slowly entered the prepared place, sheathed in condom and lubed. Sam arched his back and hissed as the familiar pain of first entrance hit him. He and Josh both were holding their breath. Josh pressed his now kiss-swollen lips to Sam's waiting for him to relax and mold himself around Josh's cock. _

"_I'm ok," he whispered, cherishing the feeling of Josh being inside him. "Slow for me, ok?" Josh nodded slowly, thrusting and grinding his hips further into Sam, each man crying out in pleasure. Josh slowly pulled out and slowly thrust back in. The movement was simple and would seem boring to others, but it made Sam come undone in the best way, whimpering. His uber smart lover would be in complete ecstasy within two thrusts. So far in he couldn't speak. The pleasure stopped his words, holding them hostage. Oh, they would form on his lips, but they dare not cross them. The pleasure so great sometimes he could only pant and not properly breathe. _

"_Mmm…Oh god Sam…hmmm…" This slow technique wasn't lost on Josh either. Ten strokes/thrusts was his record. He tried to pay attention and count once. He thought it was ten. Ten before he was over the edge and releasing his orgasm. Somewhere around stroke two or three, he would hit that special spot for Sam making him dig his nails into Josh's lower back. Five or six he would hit it again and again around eight or nine and Sam would be done, releasing his seed all over the two of them with out a hand on his cock. Sam would be trembling underneath him as Josh exploded inside of him, aftershocks making him whisper his love's name…_

_Sam, Sam, Sam…._

His name somehow blended in with the beeps of his alarm clock and California Congressman Sam Seaborn slowly fluttered his eyes, opening them. Disappointment set in quickly realizing that he was alone and his lover calling his name low and sexy was just a dream. He reached over to turn off the alarm and felt the wetness in his underwear and pajama pants. _What a way to start the morning_, he thought smiling. He sat on the side of the bed wishing Josh were there to try to drag him back down for a few more minutes of kisses. He walked wide legged like a cowboy to his bathroom, threw his clothes in the hamper and turned on the shower. He relieved himself, washed his hands then brushed his teeth waiting for the water to heat up.

As he stepped in, the water didn't soothe him; it brought his mind back to Josh. It felt like millions of tingles all over as a result of something that Josh had done... a kiss, a lick, almost anything. He closed his eyes, leaned back against the shower wall and suddenly felt as if Josh's warm mouth had attacked his semi-erect penis. He looked down to make sure someone had not broken into his home and snuck into his shower. Two strokes of his hand found him climaxing into the water and his seed flowing down the drain. _Two in one morning. I'm not gonna make it 'til next Thursday_, he thought.

Today was Monday February 23. The Friday of the next week was their 12th anniversary. March 6th was the usually the first day they marked on their calendars as a vacation day. Or the weekend closest to it. The majority of their staff members knew nothing of what this day meant to them. It was just the first day marked on the calendar. Neither of their staffs knew of their romantic relationship, with the exception of their assistants Donna and Ginger. Josh's people just thought he needed a vacation. Sam's people just thought a visiting friend was trying to avoid paying for a hotel.

This year they were lucky, their anniversary fell on a Friday. It was usually in the middle of the week. The usual plan is for Josh to fly out of D.C. Thursday around 9 p.m. Eastern reaching California around 9 p.m. Pacific. He claims he's not losing anytime, just energy. That way they each only have to take one day off. But this year Josh decided to take two days off. So he would be leaving D.C. around 10 a.m. Thursday morning and arriving in California around 10:30 a.m. Cali time. Sam would be in his office or Congressional sessions or meetings. Each man had keys to the other's home, so Josh would catch a cab and simply go to his other home. He wanted to come in Wednesday night, but since he wouldn't be in the office on Friday, they decided to have a late Wednesday night.

As Sam tried to bathe, he couldn't help but think that his lover was coming to see him. They hadn't seen each other since January 3. They would spend Thanksgiving together in D.C. This way, they could spend time with their old friends, Donna, Toby, C.J. and others. Christmas holidays were spent in California, a few days in Laguna Beach with Sam's family, the other time in Santa Ana with Sam. They spent New Year's with Josh's mom in Connecticut. Now they visit her in Florida. Three months of sexy phone calls, e-mails, text messages, letters and Skype calls builds up some serious sexual tension. Before he knew it, he was erect again. _This is crazy!_ he thought. _If I keep this up I won't make it past this day, forget making it to next week._ This time he stayed in the shower and made sure he was done. He was to the point that if that had been actual sex, his knees would have been past weak and he would have fallen asleep. But he had to. He was sitting in Congressional Chamber Sessions today. And a bored, horny mind was **not** a good thing for him.

Totally and finally spent, he dressed and headed to the kitchen for a quick breakfast and coffee. He checked his work phone for messages. Nothing from the office yet. He decided to send Josh a morning message from his personal phone. It would be nearly lunchtime for him.

**1 new msg sam 7:45 a.m.**

morning luv 8) u in a mtg?

**1 new msg josh 11:48 a.m.**

morning babe. no just left 1. on the way 2 another. sleep well?

**Sam sent a chat request**

**Chat Request Received**

**Chat Request accepted**

**Chat Session Established**

**sam**: yea, but woke up in a weird way

**josh**: how's that?

**sam**: hard & cumming fast

**josh**: aww, u having wet dreams abt me? ; P

**sam**: nah this was more like a deluge

**josh**: deluge? that good huh?

**sam**: yeah & it continued in the shower, twice

**josh**: twice? what are u doing in the OC?

**sam**: missing u 8(

**josh**: i miss u 2. can't wait 'til next week. *inner happy dance* have u heard this song the neighbors know my name?

**sam**: not sure who sings it?

**josh**: trey songz. download it listen carefully, ur new neighbors may just learn my name and start banging on the front door *sexy smile*

**sam**: lol looking forward 2 that 8P sounds like r&b how do u know abt him?

**josh**: interns these kids always have ipod playing their desks

**sam:** & u listen?

**josh**: its unavoidable u still mtg w/potus wed?

**sam**: yeah, should i send rahm a thank u gift?

**josh**: idts not really neccessary

**sam**: 'cause i'm in OC not DC no 1 just gets 30 mins w/potus i'm grateful

**josh**: just let him know u r humble. U think we will have time 4 lunch?

**sam**: maybe we meet 10:30

**josh**: i'll try & clear schedule 11:15

**sam**: ok

**josh**: headed 2 another mtg talk l8tr?

**sam**: yes

**josh**: no more jerking around 4 u ok? Haha

**sam**: haha u just wish u could see it…i will try my best… i luv u *kiss*

**josh**: lovely thought my loss 2day… i luv u 2 have a good day *kiss*

**Chat Session Ended**

**E/N**: Anybody else find it funny that these two writers with exceptional vocabularies are so versed in text language? Ha-ha. For those who don't know the chat language I used here, check below. Please review if you liked, or didn't like. Just remember, no flames- you were politely warned.

L8tr: later

OC: Orange County

Potus: President of The United States (for those not familiar with this phrase it was from the episode, I don't remember the number, but it was one of the first, where Jed Bartlett ran his bike into the tree. Sam was explaining to the woman in his bed- can't remember if she was the prostitute or not- but his pager said POTUS she asked and he told her who it was. Something like it's not his name but his title.)

Mtg: meeting

Idts: I don't think so

Abt: about


	3. The Real Thing

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole. There will be male/male sex and severe language.

Chapter 2: The Real Thing

Santa Ana, California 8:25 a.m.

Sam headed into the front office and found his assistant Ginger hard at work.

"Morning Ginger."

"Good Morning Sam."

"How is Maddy's tooth?" Sam asked about Ginger's four-year-old daughter. Ginger and her husband Anthony thought Maddy had a toothache but it turned out to be a loose one instead. The little girl refused to let her dad pull it.

"She finally got tired of the pain and let Anthony pull it. It took all of about 10 seconds. We could have been done with this days ago." Sam agreed and was looking at the agenda for that day's meeting. "All she kept saying last night was that she couldn't stop her tongue from going in the hole." Sam's cheeks turned light pink at the remark as he held in a giggle, remembering that Josh had said the exact same line one night while making love. _Not now Sam. Back to work_, he said to himself. He looked the agenda over again as one of the interns handed some of the documents and proposals for the meeting. He glanced through them and saw that an important one was missing.

"Where is the highway proposal? Has Taylor not sent it?" He sighed in disgust.

"I haven't seen it." Ginger replied and the intern said the same.

"We have a meeting in 30 minutes. Everyone deserves the chance to look over everything on the agenda. Call his office and tell them to hurry up and send it out. And he wonders why his stuff is always postponed or voted down." He shook his head and walked into his office as Ginger got on the phone.

Washington, D.C. 1:31 p.m.

Josh Lyman headed back to his office for a lunch later than he wanted. As long as he has been working in Washington, he should know there is no such thing as a short meeting. _What was I thinking?_ He thought to himself. Before hitting the elevators, he passed the sandwich cart and grabbed lunch. He entered the front part of Congressman Pointer's office, walked down the hallway and past his long time assistant, Donna who waved "welcome back" as she finished writing down what seemed like the 50th message she had taken for him in the past hour. He entered his Chief of Staff office, burdened his desk with the item he carried and sighed as he sat down. Donna came in and saw the exasperated look on his face.

"Let me guess, Charlotte McNally?"

"How did those people in Michigan ever vote her in? What do they _see_ in her? She has to be one of _**the **_most exhausting people I have ever met in my_** life**_! She's like the desert heat; she just drains all the energy out of a person. As well as all common sense, all brain power and the ability to care."

"She won by a landslide if I remember correctly." Donna said.

"Landslide my ass. Next time she runs I'm gonna find someone in Michigan who can check voter irregularities involving her race."

"There, there. Drink your Pepsi™ and calm down." She said patting his shoulder. "Here are your messages, most urgent on top. Are you taking calls during lunch?" She asked.

"No, I need to read through this stuff for my next two meetings. Three down and two to go. Wish it was next Thursday already."

"Which reminds me, have you chosen a gift for Sam yet?" Josh shook his head no, as he leafed through his messages.

"No, I really don't know what to get him."

"Has he mentioned wanting anything in particular?"  
"You know Sam, me being there is present enough for him. I want to get him something special though."

"Matching rings would be nice." She hinted.

"You keep saying that."

"I'm just saying Josh you guys should think about it. You've been together 12 years and there are places like our lovely D.C. that it is legal for you to marry or have a civil union. Not like when you were first together."

"I know. But we really haven't had 'the conversation' yet."

"Why not?"

"It will require us to out ourselves politically, which we aren't sure if we're ready to do. Friends and family are fine. People who vote you in office are a different story. It also requires one of us to move and…"

"I know. You can't decide who needs to move. Will you promise me that you and Sam will at least talk about it next weekend?"

"I promise that we'll talk about it."

"Thank you." She said leaving and closing the door behind her.

Marriage. Civil Unions. Josh had thought about it. Being bisexual, he never really thought whom he might end up with. Never expected that it would be Sam. Certainly didn't expect them to survive 12 years together, four of them being in a long distance relationship. He opened his turkey sandwich, took a bite and thought about his handsome love. _Avocados and black olives, so_ _Californian_. He looked at this personal phone to check for messages. Sam was probably neck deep in a Congressional session at the moment. But there was one from Sam saying how bored he was and that he was trying to not let his mind wander too much. He sent one back saying that it wouldn't be long until they could talk later.

He loved the sound of Sam's voice. "Lawyer speak" seemed to make sense to people who didn't know the law. He loved to hear him read poetry. The words seemed so much more; more filled with love, more filled with emotion. He could have read the telephone book and Josh would be drooling. Josh loved Sam's voice so much that he would often let him go on about the oddest things just to hear it. He often wondered if the famous or infamous (depending on who you talked to) "Josh and Sam banter" was because he loved the sound of Sam's voice.

He scrolled through the pictures in his personal phone, looking at the ones he'd taken. Here was a favorite. It was of Sam sleeping, naked under the sheets. He was on his stomach, arms under the pillow and face toward Josh. The sheet was halfway down his sculpted behind, barely covering it. His well-formed muscles seemed so alluring against the dark blue sheets. Here was another favorite of Sam's dazzling blue eyes and smile. _God, he is so beautiful_. And he was so in love with Josh.

He should have been reading the files and proposals on his desk. Instead, he was thinking of his Sam and how he got him to leave New York.

New York City, February 1998

Josh Lyman was in freezing, snowy New York City to see a man about a horse, a dark horse. For the second time. As he looked around the lobby, he wondered if anyone was a stoked about the upcoming presidential race as he was. Probably not. He headed to the elevators to the visit the Gage Whitney Pace Law firm. He didn't need a lawyer, but he came to see a man about a horse- a dark one.

"Mr. Seaborn, there's a Josh Lyman here to see you." _Josh? What's he doing in New York? Again?_

"Send him in." The admin assistant led Josh into Sam's office and closed the door behind her. Sam is surprised to see him. They shake hands, hug and laugh.

"So how are things?" Josh asks as Sam offers him a seat.

"Going well. You?" He replied.

"Good. How's Lisa? Planning a huge wedding?"

"Trying to." Sam says sitting behind his desk.

"You're not getting cold feet are you?"

"No. Not yet anyway." He watches as Josh looks out the window. "So what brings you here? Again?"

"Again?"

"To New York." Josh clears his throat.

"Oh, I came to see you. About a horse."

"A horse?"

"Yeah. I finally found the real thing and I need your help."

"You found the real thing. It's a horse and you need my help?"

"Yep."

"Coca-Cola™. You found Coca-Cola™ and you need my help?" Sam wrinkled his brow. "Oh, I get it. The horse's name is Coca-Cola™."

"No."

"So you _don't_ need my help or the horse's name isn't Coca-Cola™?"

"I need your help. But there's New Coke™ now so it's not the real thing anymore."

"You sure?"

"Positive. It's a completely new formula. New commercial, everything."

"So you need help with a formula?"

"You could say that."

"But I deal with formulas that form sentences. The science of words Josh, not the ones that form sodas."

"Wouldn't that be etymology?"

"What?"

"The science of words, etymology"

"That would be the study of words Josh."

"Science, study same thing."

"So what exactly is it that you need help with?"

"The real thing. I need help with the real thing, politically."

"You're working for Hoynes right? Is he the real thing? Or the horse?"

"No Bartlet is. The horse and the real thing are the same thing."

"Bartlet. Like the pear?"

"Uh, I guess. Is there another name for a pear?"

"There's Bosch, Asian, Red."

"Ok. Yeah, Bartlet". Josh replied.

"Governor from New Hampshire."

"Yeah. Him."

"What makes him the real thing?"

"He just is. I left Hoynes to work for him. I was running Hoynes campaign but now I'm with the Bartlet camp and I need your help."

"What can I do? I'm a lawyer. Could be partner soon. I would think he already has a team of lawyers."

"We don't need a lawyer. We need you. Your words."

"My words?"

"Yeah. You should hear him speak Sam. It's like everything you could ever want to hear and believe but never thought you would."

"If he's such a prolific speaker, why do you need my words?"

"Because he's not speaking loud enough people aren't hearing him and he needs a megaphone."

"So get him one."

"What do you think I'm doing here?"

"Did I mention that I could be partner soon?"

"Seriously, Sam, I need you. We're talking chance of a lifetime. History, the White House. He's going to be the next President of the United State. I can feel it. You could apply for partnership at any firm you choose after doing this. No other resume could beat it." Sam quietly thinks.

"What's his first name again?" Sam asks.

"Josiah." Josh replies.

"Josiah." Sam repeats the name, letting it float in the air.

"Yep, Josiah."  
"Joshua, Josiah and Samuel. If we had a band we could be the Old Testament review." They both laugh. "Sounds like a bad Earth, Wind and Fire spoof." Sam said.

"Or a really weird Jewish law firm." Josh commented.

"His wife's name?"

"Abigail. What does it matter?"

"Just asking. Abigail." He paused. "Hope his nickname isn't Nabal."

"Nabal? It's not, it's Jed. What's with Nabal anyway?"

"What, you don't remember Nabal?"

"Should I?"

"Nabal from the Bible?"

"I don't read the bible."

"You should. Lots of wise words stories with great meanings. Awesome poetry too. It's always on the Best Sellers List."

"But I don't read the Bible." Josh repeated.

"Clearly. I'm sure he's mentioned in the Torah."

"Nabal?"

"Yeah man. Nabal means fool or foolish. Found oddly in I Samuel chapter 27, nope-sorry 25. I Samuel chapter 25."

" The whole chapter?"

"Yep, whole chapter."

"What's with you and the Bible theme today?" Josh asked.

"It's a good book, **the** good book."

"So what about him?"

"King David was coming to this land and he sent his soldiers ahead to procure food and Nabal refused to meet him and feed the King and his soldiers."

"And this was foolish because?"

"Because it was. You don't upset the King Josh. Especially when he could kill you. He had planned to kill Nabal that is until Abigail stepped in."

"Abigail."

"Yeah, Abigail. The servants told her what her husband had done. She knew what the King was capable of so she gathered food, servants and set out to meet the King."

"On her husband's behalf?"

"No instead of him. Remember he's the fool? She apologized to the King for his foolishness and he spared Nabal's life."

"Hmm. No I didn't remember that."

"You are Jewish right? Last time I checked you were."

"Yea, obviously I'm not practicing."

"Obviously." Sam stated.

"Hey I resemble that."

"Obviously. So he's the real thing huh?"

"Yeah, so what do you say?"

"I say I need to have a talk with Lisa. You know all of our decisions have to be made with both of us in mind now."

"She's not the ball and chain yet."

"Sometimes that's debatable."

"Ouch."

"Yea, that doesn't leave this office."

"It won't. She'll be fine with it once she realizes her future husband will be a part of history and possibly working for the White House."

"Work for the White House? What's that about?"

"If he likes you enough and you ultimately get the job done i.e. get him elected, you can be his speech writer in his administration. Deputy communications something. I got it written down somewhere." Sam sighed and was quiet for a few minutes.

"Count me in. After I talk with Lisa. I need a change of scenery." Sam said. Josh refrained from jumping up and down. He knew Sam wouldn't let him down. The challenge of the words, the prospect of reaching millions of people appealed to Sam. And Josh knew it. He would have worn him down if he had to. Or guilt him into it. They had been friends so long Sam probably owed him a favor anyway.

"Scenery. You'll get plenty of that on the campaign bus. I think you'll impress everybody. I've been impressed for years."

"But you're easy."

"Yeah, Ben used to say that. A lot."

"I meant easy to impress."

"Uh, yeah…sure…me too."

The sound of a text message coming through brought Josh out of his memory and lunch. Sam was really bored. They were taking a break and all he could think to do was send Josh a picture of himself, sticking out his tongue. Josh laughed.

**Josh sent a chat request**

**Chat Request Received**

**Chat Request Accepted**

**Chat Session Established**

**josh**: making a list of things 4 u 2 do w/that *evil grin*

**sam**: hope it's a good 1 *shy grin*

**josh**: shy my ass & it will be. 4got 2 ask any particular present u want 4 our ann.?

**sam**: idk u naked on the bed sounds good

**josh**: *warm fuzzies* awww, that's a given. nothing else?

**sam**: not that i can think of

**josh**: well, think abt it while u r bored in ur mtg.

**sam**: anything u want?

**josh**: 2 spend time w/u

**sam**: sounds like luv is best gift break's over in a few u think abt it while u r bored in ur mtg ok?

**josh**: ok *kiss*

**sam**: *kiss kiss*

**Chat Session Ended**

About 30 minutes later Donna knocked on Josh's door to let him know the group for his next meeting was there and waiting for him in the conference room. He sighed and picked up the proposal they were going to talk about. He picked up his phone and before he could leave, he got another picture text from Sam. The meeting he was in must be really horrible. In the message was a picture of something Sam had written on the side of his legal pad…

_The chance to gaze in your brown eyes for a minute is two days away_

_Eleven days until your arms I can lay_

_A few more hours until we can hear our voices say_

_Those three words that always make our day_

_I love you- Sam_

Josh smiled and texted back, _I love you too._ He didn't have to wait or need to wait a few hours to say it, not anymore. That's what made this the real thing to him.

**A/N update 6/16/10**: I didn't mention this before hand but maybe I should have. The story of Nabal and Abigail is a true and it is found in I Samuel 25, the whole chapter. I don't know if anyone who has read this has looked it up or not. I've only heard it preached once. I was in college and attending a church near the school. It was Women's Emphasis Month and the sermon title was "Lord, help me to be an Abigail". It made an impact on me.


	4. Shopping for Sam

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole. There will be male/male sex and severe language.

**A/N**: So I found out last chapter that the "Josh and Sam" banter isn't as easy to write, as it is to watch. Thanks **sassie69** (for you review) and those who have added this and me to your alerts list. It's instant encouragement. 8)

Chapter 3: Shopping for Sam's gift

Tuesday February 24, Washington D.C. 6:30 p.m.

Josh Lyman was having an end of day meeting with the interns in Congressman Pointer's office. After making assignments for the following day, he let them go home. He was checking his messages and the last minute faxes that had come in while he was in the meeting. He could overhear the interns talking.

"I can't believe we're getting out of here before eight."

"I know right? Must be a miracle."

"Hey did you hear what Lanie in Congressman White's office bought?"

"No, what'd she buy?"

"She went to that new sex shop, Toy Box of Love, by **that** strip mall and bought this thing called a screw bunny." _**That**__ strip mall? What strip mall?_ Josh thought.

"A screw bunny? What the hell is that?"

"It's some kind of…" the female intern's voice got lower "super fast dildo." Josh wondered why she was lowering her voice; he had already more than he should have.

"How do you know?"

"You didn't hear? She was using it here at work and apparently she made so much noise someone called paramedics because they thought someone was in pain." The interns laughed and Josh shook his head. _Maybe I should check this out and see if I can find Sam a gift_. He hurried to his office so they wouldn't know that he'd been listening. He quickly looked up the address on his phone so the website wouldn't be in the government's server. _I think I will check it out. Hope I don't run into any of them._ He grabbed his things and left his office, walking Donna out.

He went home and actually cooked himself something to eat. C.J. would be impressed. She thought he would be eating takeout for the rest of his life. While eating, he found the exact address of the sex shop and it hours of operation. After eating, he decided to change his clothes before going to shop. He would probably look out of place if he went there in a suit. He hoped jeans and a t-shirt would make him look normal. Maybe he should wear a hat. Maybe not. Maybe the place wouldn't be that busy.

He got in his car and drove to Toy Box of Love. He guessed they had to add "love" to the name or else people would think it was a children's toy store. They probably still a lot of confusion. Josh soon discovered it was far from it. As he pulled up in the parking lot, he saw more cars than he wanted to see. He just hoped no one would recognize him and vice versa.

The shop had a sweet smell to it, like fruit. He didn't expect that. Not sure what he expected. A sex shop should smell like, well sex maybe? He started at the wall nearest to him and slowly walked and looked. He saw the screw bunny and decided that Sam would accept it because it came from Josh, but he could tell Sam would never use it. It was a little overwhelming, since he had no idea what he wanted. There was a sign on the shelf that said if there was a question, customers could go to the help desk. So that's what Josh did.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, you can." He replied to the young lady standing behind the counter. She looked like she was 21. She had a few piercings and two-toned hair. "I'm looking for an anniversary gift for my boyfriend and I have no idea what to get him. I heard someone mention this place and I thought I'd check it out."

"Ok, tell me about him." Josh thought about what he could say without causing a governmental uproar.

"Well, he's a California boy, that's where he is now. He has beautiful blue eyes, about my height. He has a law degree. Dimples, black hair, really sexy."

"How long have you been together?"

"Twelve years."

"Oh, how sweet. You could get matching rings."

"We haven't discussed that yet."

"Ok, what does he like to do? You said he has a law degree?"

"He uses words a lot. He loves to read. His music selection is kinda all over the map, jazz, rock, a little R&B."She was thinking.

"What does he like to read?"

"Novels, political books, biographies."

"Poetry?" Josh thought about it.

"Yeah, he likes poetry."

"Ok, let me get a couple of books for you. Check out this brochure while you wait." She slid a colorful brochure across the counter at him. He picked it up and was pretty sure he was red in the face. It was interesting to say the least. He looked carefully at it and immediately had questions. The clerk came back with three books in her hand.

"Tell me more this."He said pointing to the brochure.

"It's safe. We make them latex and non-latex for those who are allergic. They can be made with hard plastic if the customer chooses."

"And the mold?"

"We let the customer break it back down to plaster when the toy is removed. You make it, you break it. The mold has to cure for a full 24 hours with the liquid latex in it. We'll take pictures before the mixture is made to make sure we get the color as close as possible. We can add synthetic hair if you want." Josh was in serious thought.

"How long does it take to set everything up?

"Not long. Sometimes the most difficult part it waiting for the customer to prepare themselves to be molded." He nodded and looked at the books she brought.

"Can I ship it in the mail?"

"Sure. It'll be in a discreet brown box." Just then, his phone rang. He knew exactly who it was. It was after 5 p.m. in Santa Ana and after 8 p.m. in D.C. This was their usual talk time.

"Excuse me a minute." She nodded her head and left to help some other customers. "Hi honey."

"Why Joshua my love, you sound too happy to be sitting in your office."

"That's because I'm not. I'm actually someplace pretty interesting looking at a present for you."

"You got out of the office before 8?"

"Before 7."

"Wow. How'd you manage that?"

"Don't know. Just happened. What are you up to?"

"About 30 minutes from heading out myself to get ready for my flight."

"So how'd you manage that?"

"Don't know. Just happened." They laughed. "So, does this pretty interesting place have a name?"

"Yes, a pretty interesting one."

"A pretty interesting place with a pretty interesting name. And you're not going to tell me what it is are you?"

"Not one clue."  
"So, am I gonna like this gift?" Josh looked at the brochure and the books and smiled.

"Absolutely. You won't be able to guess what it is. Not in a million years."

"Can I have a clue?"

"Not one clue Sam. I'm going to send it in the mail and it better not have been opened when I get there."

"Aw, come on Josh. Not even a peek?"

"No, Sam. Not one." Sam sighed.

"Ok, I won't open it. But you've really got my interest peaked."

"Good, that's the point. What time is your fight leaving?"

"Midnight on the dot California time. I'll arrive 4 a.m. Cali time."

"Time conversion- Leaving 4 a.m. D.C. time, arriving 8 a.m. D.C. time."

"Sounds right."

"You want to stop by the house when you get in?" Josh asked, hoping Sam would take the hint.

"Now Josh, you know if I stop by your house, I will miss my meeting with the President and you will be late for work." Josh smiled, because Sam was right.

"Yeah, I know. You staying overnight?"

"Don't we both wish? If I was meeting him later in the day, maybe. But I have to be back for a brunch in Dana Point Thursday at 11. It's honoring some very talented high school students."

"Written the speech yet?"

"Not yet. Probably will on the way back."

"So can I get a clue about the meeting?"

"No, I think I'll keep it to myself. We'll talk about it when you get here."

"Sam…"

"If I have to wait, you can too."

"Ouch. Ok. Well, let me get your present. Call me before you go to bed ok?"

"Ok. Love you."

"Love you too." Josh hung up the phone and looked more intensely at the books. One was Karma Sutra positions for gay men, one was a book of erotic poetry written by a man for a man and the other was a book on the history of gay sex. The clerk came back to the counter.

"What did you decide?"

"I'll take these two books," He had chosen the poetry and Karma Sutra books. "And I want to get one of these made."

"Ok." She called the tech out from the back to meet Josh and he followed him back to the lab.

Josh left the Toy Box of Love, pleased with his purchase. And pleased that he didn't run into anybody he knew or knew him. Or of him. He had his appointment to come back the next night to break his mold and inspect the toy. Sam would definitely be surprised. And Josh was getting excited about the erotic poetry that would be leaving his lips. He bought himself a copy to find his favorite poems so Sam could read those first. Would be fun to see how far they could make it. His best guess through the first poem. No guarantees after that.


	5. The Meeting with the President

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole. There will be male/male sex and severe language.

2. I do not own the names of President and Mrs. Obama. They are public figures that I highly respect. He is my president because I voted for him and nothing in this fic will bring shame or degradation to his name, her name, their children or the Office of President of The United States.

**The comments in this chapter are in no way associated with or belong to President Barack H. Obama or White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. They are solely the words of the writer of this piece of work. **

3. I also do not own the name Barney Frank (D), the Congressman from MA who happens to be openly gay.

Chapter 4: The Meeting with the President

Sam's plane landed about 20 minutes late in D.C. because of fog. He slept the whole way there. He didn't usually get nervous. Its wasn't because he'd never spoken with a sitting president before. He had even spoken with President Obama before. But he'd never had a meeting with this President. And he didn't have to wait a long time for it either. He called Rahm Emanuel's office and just asked for a 30 minute meeting with the President. Of course, Rahm needed to know why. Sam told him and a meeting was scheduled right away. First, he didn't think he would get such a personal meeting and two he didn't expect to get it so quickly. He didn't know if the President had been told why Sam was coming. _I'm sure he knows something. Bartlet always knew something about the people that visited the Oval Office._

Sam thought the nervousness had to do with the subject of the meeting and less about the man. He had prepared his questions, rebuttals, whatever he thought he would need. He tried to calm his nerves with breakfast. Coffee was a much-needed item now. By the time, he arrived at the White House it wasn't quite 9:30 a.m. One hour to go. From his experience at the White House, sometimes it paid off to be early to wherever you were scheduled to be, because the outside world knew nothing of your schedule.

Another upside to this day was that for a few hours he and Josh would be in the same time zone and space for a little bit. They were going to have lunch later. It wasn't much, but it was a few hours they would've wished they had. He decided to initiate a chat.

**Sam sent a Chat Request**

**Chat Requested Received**

**Chat Request Accepted**

**Chat Session Established**

**sam**: hi baby i'm waiting outside oval. how r u?

**josh**: rushing through stuff 2 make sure I have time 4 u

**sam**: don't rush i'm early

**josh**: but the office is behind damn interns won't do what i tell them

**sam**: oh well i will let u get back 2 work

**josh**: u'll wait in my office if i'm not there?

**sam:** of course

**josh**: luv u

**sam**: luv u 2

**Chat Session Ended**

Sam looked at his watch. 9:42 a.m. No one was in his office yet but he decided to call and leave instructions anyway. There was a lot of stuff to be done in the next few days and a good chunk of the next day would be spent with the brunch in Dana Point. There was a town meeting in Laguna Woods at 6 p.m. and Congressional Bill meetings on Friday. He might not see the light of day on Friday after he makes it to the office. One other important call he made was to Joey Lucas, the best poll person he knew. She had the best and most detailed information anyone connected with politics could want. And she never revealed her secrets. She was in a meeting and Sam left a message with her assistant.

A little after 10 a.m., Sam got a text from Joey on his personal phone. Not a lot of politicos had his personal number.

**Jlucas**: hey sam

**Joey Sent a Chat Request**

**Chat Request Received**

**Chat Request Accepted**

**Chat Session Established**

**sam**: hey joey what's up?

**joey**: not much. lee said u called?

**sam**: yeah, i'm gonna need some polls done

**joey**: ok the subject?

**sam**: usa has had a latino & afr-am potus, r they ready 4 a gay 1?

**joey**: u ready 4 that step?

**sam**: idk mtg w/potus 10:30 i think i'm ready

**joey**: how much do u want?

**sam**: as much as i can get, enough ppl 2 sway an election 1,000? 10,000?

**joey**: ok email me ur specs. how long do i have?

**sam**: how long do u need?

**joey**: big numbers? month maybe 2

**sam**: ok, i can do that, but faster helps in decision making

**joey**: will do my best

**sam**: thanks i really appreciate it

**joey**: no problem

**sam**: my turn w/potus wish me luck

**joey**: happy blessings

**sam**: thx

**Chat Session Ended**

Rahm Emanuel, President Obama's Chief of Staff walked into the Oval Office waiting area.

"Sam Seaborn?"

"Mr. Emanuel." Sam stood, shaking his hand. "Please call me Sam. Thank you so much for getting me this time with the President. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome. I would like to sit in if you don't mind?"

"No, I don't mind at all. All I ask for is discretion."

"Absolutely." The President's Assistant came out.

"Mr. Obama is ready for you." Sam and Rahm walked into the Oval Office. The President came out from behind his desk.

"Sam, how are you?" They shook hands.

"Very well sir, thank you. And you?"

"It's another day in the White House. I guess you know a thing or two about that huh?"

"Yes sir, I do. I really appreciate you meeting with me today. I know how busy your schedule is."

"Please have a seat." Sam sat on the couch, the President sitting in the chair to the left of it. Just like in the Bartlet days. Rahm sat on the opposite couch, ready to take notes.

"I asked Sam if it would be ok if I sat in."

"Good idea. What can I help you with Sam?" Sam took a deep, cleansing breath.

"Well sir, I came to get your opinion on a few things and to ask a few questions." He nodded for Sam to go on. "Since America has had two very successful minorities as Commander in Chief, I'd like to get your opinion on whether or not you think the American people are ready for the first bisexual/gay presidential candidate?" Sam sighed, pleased that he got the first question out.

"That's a powerful question. I appreciate that you think this administration is successful. We have a long way to go. Thank you for the optimism." He took a deep breath. "The American people like to have someone who resembles them, whether it is race, religion, education, family. They want to see that they have something in common with the candidate. They want to see someone who has their same values. I think the various states and cities they have made legislation to include the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender communities have shown that they realize that this a population of people who can sway an election. Prop 8 is a great example of that."

"Prop 8 started out at an excellent pace and I was so embarrassed with what happened. It was very difficult to see Californians vote it in only to have the government change the peoples' decision without permission. I fought as much as I could in the house for it without outing myself. Sometimes I wonder if it would it have made a difference if I had."

"And why didn't you?"

"I wasn't politically ready to."

"And you are now?"

"Getting closer. I know if I want to be serious about running for this office, my boyfriend and I will have to come out politically. We are out to friends and family, but it has been a struggle to keep us between us."

"He works here in Washington?"

"Yes sir. Joshua Lyman; he's Congressman Pointer's Chief of Staff."

"Ah, yes I remember Josh sitting in on meetings with President Santos."

"I've meet him a few times." Rahm stated.

"None of our staff members know except our personal assistants and that's because we were all on the Bartlet campaign staff when we started dating."

"I would advise coming out to them first. If anyone is uncomfortable with it they could leave before the campaign would even start." Rahm said.

"I agree."

"I know that in order to work in family values and equal spousal anything, we will have to have a ceremony. Which we aren't opposed to. We would love it. The hardest part has been discussing who gives up their job first, me or him?"

"So how long have you been together?" Rahm asked.

"We've been friends over 20 years now. We were a couple almost a year the first time. Then there was a year and half break between us. It's a long story. Twelve years since we got back together and the last four have been long distance."

"Wow, that's awesome commitment." Rahm said.

"Thanks; we try really hard. I think a family will help as well. Not sure how we will work that out yet. I think people were simply over the moon to know that there would be children growing up in the White House again after such a long time." The President smiled and then asked,

"Do you have any polls out?"

"I was just talking with Joey Lucas before we came in. We trusted her a lot during President Bartlet's administration. I trust her. She brought us very good and useful information. I have to e-mail her my specifics. I didn't even know if she wanted to do it."

"Sam, are you prepared for the scrutiny? The lies and slander?" The President asked.

"I'd be lying if I said I was sir. It's a process, I know. I think I can take what's thrown at me. It's in the job description. Anything towards Josh and our families… all bets are off."

"Spoken like a man on a mission. How will you decide if you want to run?"

"I'll make a decision after I see the poll information. If enough people say they are open to the idea of voting or that they would _**actually**_ vote for a gay candidate, then I think a significant part of the wondering would be overcome. That means they will judge the candidate on the issues more than the circumstances. I know there will probably be a large GLBT following who would vote me in just because of my sexual preference. I know there will be votes from people who just want to be a part of a historical election. However, when it comes down to deciding if we should go to war or not, the person sleeping next to me at night doesn't matter at all. I'll discuss the results with Josh and our families. We'll have to pick the best way to come out. We don't want anything to seem like a tabloid. Dignified, classy and quiet as possible is what we're hoping for."

"That's a good goal to strive for. I doubt if it will be as quiet as you want."The President stated.

"Deep down, I think we know that. We've been avoiding scandals for quite a few years." Sam said.

"Scandals? You think there is someone who knows?" Rahm asked.

"We know there is; several groups, several people. We just don't know who. I received a letter from the Advocate last week and Josh received one from Out magazine, I guess about a week or so before. They were invitations to come out in the magazine. Both letters stated that there was some buzz on the online message boards, people mainly trying to find out if I was gay. Some of them mentioned that they had seen me in a gay club, with Josh and that's just not true. Josh and I would love to go out and live it up a little. But we are never sure of the public's reaction or who's watching. If we do have dinner out, we'll go to a sports bar, sporting event. We try to find something that wouldn't seem strange for two adult men to be doing together."

"Any other suspicions?" Rahm asked.

"Yes. The White House Therapists arranged a rage party right around the time President Bartlet announced that he had MS. We were in a secluded area to let out steam by throwing ceramic items- dishes mostly and glass at walls. There were even a few cars and sledgehammers available. The press core was there for a quick briefing on the event and others things. They were even invited by President Bartlet to participate. At first, I was just going to support everyone else, but I needed to get out the frustrations of learning about my father's affair and the President's MS.

Two reporters separately came to C.J. Cregg, asking specifically if Josh and I were in a romantic relationship. Actually, Josh and I had just broken up a few days before that. So I was complete mess that day. Danny Concannon was one of the reporters. Of course, C.J. tried to find out what they knew without letting on what she knew. We never found out how they could have known. There were very few public displays of affections; we were always super careful. Neither reporter revealed their source. We wondered if at one point both of them had been talking to the same source.

The other reporter had pictures with him from the campaign trail and early days of the administration. They were mostly of us kissing, hugging and holding hands. In every single picture we were somewhere fairly private, or so we thought- a closed off hallway, empty office or conference room. We even had Secret Service in the area of where we were. Probably Leo's idea. Nothing out in the open. A check on staff photographers came up a bust. I think there was even an internal Secret Service investigation. We suspected that it might have been one of them since they were always around when the pictures were taken. Nothing was found.

The other reporter said his source had no intention of outing us, which confused us all. Why have ammunition and a gun if you never intend to use them? Anyway, those pictures and negatives are locked away. If there is another set out there then it's anybody's guess where they are." Mr. Obama's brow wrinkled with concern.

"Anything else you heard about?" He asked.

"Just talk mostly. Eavesdropping interns. A few rejected dates, although we tried to keep possible outside relationships to a minimum. We always tried to be discreet. Josh's townhouse has a backyard garage facing an alley; if I drove, I'd always park in the garage or driveway. Never in front of the house. Therefore, if anyone was hanging out in front of the house, they didn't see us leave together often. Going for walks maybe or a trip to the neighborhood coffee shop and deli. Oh, if I took a cab, they would have seen me in front of the house. The Secret Service never said anything about anyone being in front of the house when President Santos was in office, since they are supposed to protect the Chief of Staff too.

My apartment had a doorman and assigned parking with pass codes to get in. Each apartment was assigned two spots and Josh was on my list so he would always have a place to park. You could go in the lobby but you had to be buzzed in to get on the elevator. I'm sure some people overheard a lover's quarrel or two. We tried to leave home and work separate."

"Good. Well, Rahm and I have been mostly asking the questions. What did you need to ask?"

"Well, sir do you really think the American people would vote in a gay president?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure. The great state of Massachusetts has elected Congressman Barney Frank repeatedly. However, that's one state out of 50. Overcoming the moral factor will be tough. Once your platform has been set up, I think you will have the best fighting chance ever. Knowing if it's enough to get elected is hard to say."

"I know President Santos was a mentor to you before and during your campaign. Are you willing to take on a mentee?"

"I hadn't thought about it."

"If there was someone you thought was worth mentoring and supporting, would you?"

"Yes I would."Sam smiled inwardly and asked his boldest question yet.

"If my numbers are favorable and you thought my fight was worth listening to, worth mentoring and worth supporting, would you? Would you mentor me on becoming the next President of The United States? After your second term of course."The President was still as a statue. Sam was shaking inside, wondering if he had gone too far, unsure of how to read him. The President opened his mouth to speak and paused. This made Sam think he was going to say no.

"Write down your platform. Sketch out a strategy. When you receive your results, send me a copy along with those two items, and I will seriously consider it."

"Really? You would consider it?" Mr. Obama nodded. "Wow. I didn't expect that answer. I'm humbled that you would even consider looking at it. Thank you so much sir. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"You're welcome Sam." The phone on his desk rang and he excused himself to answer it.

"This is good news. Great news." He said to Rahm. "I'm really glad I decided to explore the option of talking with him. Thank you again for that."

"You're welcome. I'd like a copy as well." Rahm said, then paused. "May I make a suggestion to you? Speak with Congressman Frank. He came out in '87 I think and Massachusetts keeps electing him, so him being gay isn't affecting his votes. Find out the secret of his Midas Touch; make it your own. I think that will be a biggest asset to your campaign."

"You say 'my campaign' like you've seen the poll results already."

"Just a feeling I have. And I don't think I'm the only one." Rahm said and the President returned to the sitting area.

"Well, Sam I hope I was able to help you start your journey." Sam stood.

"Oh yes sir. I know now I have a little more to think and figure out, but I'm ready for the challenge. Thank you again." He said shaking the President's hand, then Mr. Emanuel's.

"Looking forward to seeing the results." He smiled at Sam and Rahm escorted him out of the office as some other Senior Staffers were entering.

_Wow. He said he would consider it. That means, he sees something in me. He sees something in me! _

Sam seemed to float out of the White House. Saying he was pleased with the meeting was an understatement. It was like watching "The Temptations" movie when Otis Williams had Berry Gordy's business card. As long as Otis had the card, they had a chance. As long as the President was saying he would consider it, he felt that he had a chance. _Keeping this from Josh until he gets to Cali is going to be tough but I can't tell him until I can show it to him._

As he made his way to his boyfriend's office, he thought about the hustle and bustle of the White House as he left. He remembered the noise, the people, the constant moving. It would be interesting to be around it again. After entering Congressman Pointer's office, he proceeded down the hallway to the bullpen. He saw his old friend Donnatella Moss, sitting at her desk, engrossed in a report.

He cleared his throat. "Sam Seaborn to see Josh Lyman please." Her head shot up, surprised.

"Sam!" Donna jumped up from her seat, smiling and ran around her desk to hug him. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi Donna." He hugged her back. "I had a meeting with the President this morning."

"The President? Wait, does Josh know?" She asked, lowering her voice.

"Yes, he knows I'm here but he doesn't know why. We won't discuss it until next week."

"Why wait?"

"It's a life changing thing we have to talk about."

"Like matching rings?" She smiled, hinting.

"Not exactly. But it will lead to it." She tried to hide her happy squeal and clapped her hands.

"Goody, goody, goody. That makes me so excited."

"Oh, before I forget this is from Ginger." He reached into his bag and pulled out an envelope for Donna. "I don't know what's in it, but she made me swear not to leave D.C. without giving it to you." Donna immediately opened it.

"Oh my God, look at Maddy. She's so adorable!"

"Josh and I are having lunch later. I'm gonna wait in his office for him. Check in with my office."

"Ok, you can use the long end of the desk if you need to. There's a plug there. Did you need anything?"

"Nope I'm good. Thanks Donna."

"Oh, one other thing. If you two decide to start 'a situation' please let me know ahead of time so I can maybe try and clear the office." Sam blushed.

"Sorry about that last time. I was trying to keep him quiet, but he just wouldn't."

"Sure." She said, giving him the eye and opening the door to the office for him.

He took a minute to look around Josh's office. It had been a while since he had been there. Not much had changed. There was new furniture and some new curtains. He hung his coat and suit jacket up on the coat rack next to Josh's backpack. He set up his laptop so he could e-mail Joey. Josh's backpack. Sam couldn't understand why Josh stilled used it. A business messenger bag would look so much more professional. But he took this thing everywhere. He was even sure he would see it in California next week. _Well, now I_ _know what to get him for a gift. And I will burn this thing. It will __**NOT**__ leave the state of California_. He called Ginger while he was waiting.

"Thank you for calling Congressman Seaborn's office. Ginger Ellis, how may I help you?"

"Wow, I didn't realized you really answered the phone like that."

"Good morning Sam. How's D.C.?"

"Cold and threatening rain. It was foggy when we arrived this morning. Delayed the landing 20 minutes."

"How's Josh?"

"Haven't seen him yet he's still in a meeting."

"How was the meeting with the President?"

"Very promising. Did you get the messages I left earlier?"

"Yes, and everything has been assigned and is currently being worked on."

"Good. I'll be writing my speech for tomorrow on the plane. Everything is good for tomorrow?"

"Yes, the car will pick up at 9:15. They are available to drive to Laguna Woods if you want. They had a cancellation."

"I was thinking about driving. Wonder how long the meeting will last?"

"I don't know. The last one was about two hours. It's up to you. They said we can even call up to two hours before you have to be there."

"I have no idea how tired I'll be. Even at a two-hour meeting, it'll be after 10 when I get home. Anyway, my flight leaves here at 7:30 D.C. time and it'll actually be 7:30 Cali time. I'm debating if I should come into the office for an hour or so."

"Don't. Go home and get some sleep. I know turn around travelling isn't easy on the body. And you're not a kid anymore."

"Yeah. And I'd almost be doing the same thing tomorrow. Go ahead and order a car; I don't want to go to sleep at the wheel." They talked for a few more minutes as Sam was getting ready to e-mail Joey. He thought he'd go ahead and call Congressman Frank's office to either set up a face to face or an appointment by phone.

"The Congressman would be able to fit you in between 2:45 and 3:30 this afternoon."

"This afternoon? That was quick. Hmm…" he paused, thinking abut how much time he could spend with Josh. "How about 3 p.m.?" He'd just have to make it up to Josh next weekend. He wouldn't mind. Much.

"And the name?"

"Oh, Congressman Sam Seaborn from California 47th. Thank you I really appreciate it." He opened his MS Word to being typing the memo for Joey. _What do I really want to know from these future voters?_

**To: Ms. Josephine Lucas**

**From: Congressman Samuel N. Seaborn**

**Date: February 25, 2010**

**RE: Questions for possible Presidential Run**

** Joey,**

**Thank you so much for doing this. My conversation with the President went well this morning and if the numbers you find are favorable, I will have a decent start on what I want to do. Josh doesn't know about this poll yet, so please don't mention it to him. You and I have agreed on the time frame of two months. Please send the bill to my office for your services. Here are my questions. I'll let you pick the order. **

**1. Do you see America ever having a bisexual/gay President? Why or why not?**

**2. How do you feel about homosexuals in political positions?**

**3. Would it make a difference if the person in office was out or closeted?**

**4. Would you think about voting for a bisexual/gay person for the office of President of the United States?**

**5. After knowing the candidates platform and sexual preference, would you actually vote for that candidate?**

**6. Do you think a bisexual/gay President would cater to the GLBT community more than Americans in general?**

**7. Would you prefer that this candidate be single or have a spouse? A spouse meaning that they were married in a state that legalizes and/or accepts gay marriages or legalizes and/or accepts civil unions.**

**8. Would it make a difference if that candidate and spouse had children or acquired children while in the White House?**

Sam stopped typing a minute to reflect on his questions, trying to see if he needed to add more. Wondering if he should. It was already eight questions long. _But are they asking what I really want to know? If I out myself and get married to a man, will you vote me in as President?_ He decided that was enough.

**I think this is all I need to know. Please feel free to add any other questions or make changes that you feel are necessary. I want the most detailed breakdown I can get, religion, race, sexual preference, age, the whole thing. It will help me to see whom my potential supporters will be and whom I will need to work on. Thanks again Joey.**

** Sincerely,**

** Congressman Samuel N. Seaborn**

He sent the e-mail and sat back in the chair, feeling a little nervous. This might actually happen the way he dreamed. The love of his life would be by his side; he would have the support of their families, friends and the support of at two- possibly three- former presidents. Who could ask for more than that? Sam thought_, I'm pretty sure I could._ Sam spent the next 15 minutes reading and answering e-mails, getting anxious to see Josh. He shut off his computer and put it away. He pulled out a legal pad and started on his speech for the high school students. He was so engrossed in his speech that he didn't even hear Josh open the door.

Josh stood there for a second, smiling and admiring the view. Sam was sitting at an angle in one of the really comfortable chairs. His right leg crossed over his left so the legal pad had somewhere to rest. The pencil was moving quickly and fluidly in his right hand while his head rested in his left. His glasses slid down his nose, like they usually did. The look of concentration and focus engulfed his face and eyes. The crisp blue shirt he was wearing was one of Josh's favorites. Sam's initials were monogrammed on the cuffs. And Josh absolutely _**loved it**_ when Sam wore this shirt with the grey suit he was wearing. He was the epitome of sexy intelligence.

Josh didn't want to disturb him just yet. He was reading his words back to himself, listening to the sound, the grammar, the syntax, the feel. His lips were moving with whispers and Josh flashbacked to when they were sitting on the couch once, the first time they were together and Sam was whispering how much he loved Josh into his skin. He wanted to kiss him. Nothing stopped moving lips better than a kiss.

"So," Josh said softly, "which month in my calendar will Mr. Sexy Intelligence be?" Sam looked up and smiled.

"Whatever month you decide." He replied, standing up, placing his glasses in his shirt pocket. Josh held up a finger as he went over to the blinds on the window and closed them slightly so they wouldn't be seen. He walked back over to Sam whose arms were waiting for him.

"How about every month?" Josh asked, taking both of Sam's hands into his own.

"Sounds good to me." Sam said leaning in to kiss his lover. The sweet kiss tasted even sweeter when their mouths remembered each other, relaxed and opened revealing their warmth. Josh took Sam's hands and placed them around his waist as he placed his own hands on Sam's chest. Deepening the kiss, Sam pulled him closer. Josh's hands went up Sam's back as they embraced and pulled reluctantly from the kiss for air.

"Hi my love." Sam whispered.

"Hey babe." Josh whispered back. They hugged each other tightly. "Oh, god I don't want to let go."

"I know the feeling. I knew it was going to be difficult but I just couldn't be in Washington for a day and _not_ see you. Not kiss and hold you. I just couldn't." Sam said and kissed Josh again, making him release an enticing moan that made Sam tremble with excitement.

"Aha…" Josh said, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh no you don't. I promised Donna we would be quiet this time so she wouldn't have to try and clear the office."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't tremble."

"Would that I could. I do it every time you make that sound."

"What sound? This one?" And he did it again smiling, making Sam tremble in his arms.

"Josh, stop…"

"What, I'm just doing this…"He did it again.

"Josh, baby I'm serious."

"Ok, ok. I'll stop." He kissed him to apologize. "So how was the meeting with the President?"

"Very promising."

"I still don't get a heads up?"

"Not 'til next weekend. I'm working on some other things and I want to make sure I have a decent picture to show you."

"What are you doing after lunch?"

"Well, I have an impromptu meeting at three. I was calling to arrange one and turns out the person is free this afternoon."

"Who? Wait, I know, I know. You can't say yet. Seems like a lot of secrets Sam."

"Baby, you know we don't have secrets from each other. My life is an open book to you."

"Not as open as your legs will be next weekend." He said with an evil grin on his lips.

"Josh…"

"Ok, ok."

"There is just something I'm putting together and I need it in place before I share it with you. It's a good thing, I promise. Trust me. Ok?"

"Ok. I trust you." He kissed Sam's lips to reassure him.

"So where are we going for lunch?"

"It's my new favorite place. I found this little out of the way Italian place, get this, run by to two men who have been in a committed, loving relationship to each other for almost 50 years. There are a lot of gay couples there. I guess it's on some kind of best gay restaurant list or something. They told me we are welcome to hold hands at the table."

"Really? We never get to do that when we go out."

"I know right? The food is old school Italian Sam; you're going to love it. And it's so cute to see the two of them talk to each other in Italian. I was picking up dinner one night and they had been fighting over something. Salvatore came up to Raphael and apologized."

"In Italian?"

"Yes, in Italian. And it must have been a serious fight because they both were in tears. I don't know if they were from the joy of making up of sorrow that they fought about something. But it was so sweet to see them kiss and make up Sam. The young lady getting my food was saying that she was going to have to call someone to open the restaurant the next morning."

"Why?"

"She said when they argue like that, they literally spend just about all night making up. Then don't make it in until after lunch."

"How old are these guys?"

"I don't know, between 65 and 70."

"Wonder if they are taking any sex aides?"

"I don't know but the look of love between them is priceless. When you see them, you'll know what I mean. I hope we'll look like them when we get that age."

"I want to be in love with you as long as I can."

"Me too. I made that dumb mistake once and I'm not gonna make it again."

"That is so good to hear. I'm gonna leave my stuff here. We'll be back before our meetings?"

"As long as we don't have any wine. I hear they don't serve anything less than 30 years old."

"Potent stuff. Huh?" Sam said as he put on his suit jacket and then his coat. He helped josh with his, pulling him closer by the lapels and kissing him. "I'm glad we have a little time together today."

"Me too. Even if we don't get to play."

"Ah, but we do get to hold hands." They both smiled, and left the office headed to Josh's car.


	6. Meeting Congressman Frank

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole. There will be male/male sex and severe language in this chapter.

**The comments in this chapter are in no way associated with or belong to Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA). They are solely the words of the writer of this piece of work. **

3. I also do not own the name Barney Frank (D), the Congressman from MA who happens to be openly gay.

Chapter 5: Meeting Congressman Frank

As Sam walked into Congressman Frank's office he was greeted by his assistant, probably the one he spoke to on the phone. He looked around the office for some signs that showed that the congressional representative was gay. Nothing really pointed it out specifically. There were pamphlets for PLAG (Parents for Lesbians and Gays) and various other gay organizations. There were pamphlets for free HIV and AIDS testing. There also were travel pamphlets for the congressman's beloved Massachusetts. There was a mixed company of magazines available. Nothing out of the ordinary, he thought.

He was a little early, not by much though. He hated that he and Josh to leave a little earlier than they wanted to. A private, out of the way eatery was the perfect thing for them. They wanted to go out like other couples. Maybe them coming out publically wouldn't be so bad. They wouldn't have to hide.

"Mr. Seaborn, the congressman will see you now."

"Thank you." Mr. Frank met him as he walked in.

"Ah, Congressman Seaborn, very nice to meet you." There was his recognizable lisp.

"You too as well, sir."

"Please have a seat." Sam sat in one of the armchairs in from of the desk. "What brings you here to my office? You're not moving to Massachusetts are you?"

"Oh no, sir."He laughed. "I was advised by someone to come and speak with you." He looked a little suspiciously at Sam.

"By who?"

"Rahm Emanuel suggested I come and speak with you."

"Ok, I'm all ears." Sam took a breath and started.

"Well, I am thinking about running for the highest office in the land and I need a little advice."

"I assume since you spoke with Rahm you have spoken with the President?"

"Yes, this morning."

"Ok, how can I help?"

"One of the questions I asked the President this morning was if he thought America was ready for its first bisexual/gay presidential candidate."

"Ah, now I see why Rahm sent you to me. So you are bisexual?"

"Yes sir, bisexual in a committed gay relationship."

"May I ask whom with?"

"Joshua Lyman." The congressman chuckled a bit.

"So it is true then."

"What is true sir?"

"I've been hearing rumors about the two of you for years."

"Really? Were there a lot them?"

"I'd say more than I heard about others. I heard a lot while Bartlet was campaigning."

"If you have heard rumors, I wonder who else knew something back then. Or even now."

"I don't know. You know gay people have a totally different gossip system than straight people. There's no telling where I heard it."

"Sounds like coming out might be easier than I thought if so many people have already heard rumors."

"Let's start with your question first. I think America could be ready for anything. There are cycles and each cycle brings about a change. In the 60s, it was the Civil Rights Movement, Dr. King and voting rights for African-Americans. Today it's Mr. Obama and equality for gay families and immigrants who want to be a part of this country. It's possible. Are you thinking about 2012?"

"No, actually 2016. I think Mr. Obama will be elected again. I asked him this morning if he'd ever thought about mentoring someone to be president and he said he would think about it."

"Tell me exactly what you said."

"I asked if after I saw that the polls I ordered were favorable and he thought my fight was worth it, would he mentor me. He said he would consider it after looking at numbers and my platform and strategy."

"I must say I'm impressed; you went for the highest bar. So if you will possibly have Mr. Obama on your side why do you need my advice?"

"Because he's not gay. You've been elected term after term by your state and I know you were elected in the 80s before coming out of the closet. Afterwards, it seemed like you were unstoppable. What's in your secret formula? I need to make it my own."

"Honesty. It's as simple as that. Don't get me wrong strategies, platforms and promises are a part of it. But all it really boils down to is people want honest and responsible politicians. They don't want liars, although when you have to go back on campaign promises it seems like lying. People don't want scandals; they take a politician's focus away from the job."

"Just being honest will get me elected?"

"Not just that but it's the biggest asset. Think about how you felt finding out about Bartlet's MS. Did you feel lied to?" Sam thought.

"Yes and no. Sometimes you don't volunteer information but if asked you will answer it. That was my struggle. He didn't volunteer to tell it and since he was never asked that specifically, he never had to answer. He didn't lie about it because no one ever asked him about it."

"Suppose it was you and your sexual preference? If you're not planning to run for the office until 2016 then you will make another run in the California congress?"

"Yes."

"Ok, what if it happens at your next debate? A reporter asks a question about a rumor that you are bisexual. Do you answer to dispel the rumor so the truth is known or do you volunteer and give up the information before the question is even asked?" Sam had never really thought about it like that.

"If asked, I would tell the truth."

"And before?"

"I guess it would seem less embarrassing if I came out and told. Then I could make sure the announcement was exactly what I wanted."

"Exactly. Think about some of the sex scandals that have come about in the past few years. Airport bathrooms in Minnesota, pastors with male lovers on the side. If the people know up front, that you are bisexual/in a committed gay relationship, that's one less thing they have to worry about. If they should happen to see you and Joshua out holding hands, it wouldn't be scandalous because they would already know."

"How much opposition did you feel after coming out?"

"Oh, I was sure they weren't going to elect me ever again. I was wrong. The after polls showed that while my sexuality _could have_ been a concern, the work that I had done spoke for me. They clearly saw that who I slept with didn't affect my work."

"But like the President said, Massachusetts is just one state out of 50. How do I get the U.S. as a whole to pay attention to me?"

"You just do. You being bisexual and in a committed relationship will certainly grab their attention. It's up to you to find a way to keep it."Sam thought about it and nodded that he understood.

"So how do your after polls break down?"

"You mean in terms of gays voters versus straight?" Sam nodded. "I wish I could say it was spilt down the middle. But in the end, I still have more heterosexual voters. I know the number of my gay voters has risen. The numbers are how I know that it's not about me being gay. Now if I were in an unstable, dramatic and troublesome relationship and the public knew about it, I think my numbers and voters would drop."

"So a great relationship is good focus?"

"Absolutely. And it's not just gay couples. If some of the straight men I have worked with would just focus on home, they would have avoided scandal."

"When you do your polls, do you always ask about sexuality?"

"Not so much, because it's just one state. You on the other hand, will have to because it includes all 50. Do you have any polls set up?"

"Joey Lucas's firm is going to run them for me. I gave her eight questions and told her she could add whatever she felt necessary."

"I could run some separate polls for you, free of charge."

"Free?"

"I'm actually kind of interested in what people would say about possibly having a gay president."

"Wow, thank you sir. I never expected that. How will you make sure you don't poll the same people?"

"Send me the same questions you sent her." He handed Sam a business card. "I'll make sure that one of the questions we ask will be about answering questions from her firm."

"Good. I'd hate to have both of you polling the same people and we're all thinking the numbers are better than they are."

"Have you and Joshua chosen how to come out yet?"

"Not yet. We're out to friends and family. I received a letter from the Advocate about a week ago and Josh received one from Out. I wanted to wait and see what the numbers looked like before we chose how. He doesn't know about any of this yet. Our anniversary is next weekend and I plan to tell him then."

"How long have you been together?"

"Twelve years."

"Have you considered marriage or a civil union?"

"Not yet. But we will next weekend; we'll have to if I plan on running."

"I would say come out in the Advocate first. It's a true facts type of magazine. And they will present you, as you want to be presented. I enjoyed the interview I had, of course we're talking over 20 years ago. I can't imagine that the hospitality of the magazine has gone out of the window."

"And Out?"

"If they really want the exclusive, see if each magazine will be willing to publish the cover stories at the same time. The Advocate can focus more on you and Out on Joshua, since that's how the letters were sent."

"Sounds like a great idea. And if they don't go for it?"

"I'd still do the Advocate first." Sam nodded that he understood. "It might play better of you're engaged, have plans for marriage or are already married. People will begin to view you as a family instead of just a gay politician."

"Good point." Sam replied.

"Any other questions?"

"Without numbers, what do you really think my chances are?"

"I think you have a great chance. If President Obama decides to mentor you, if he sees what you see, you're in. You're both wordsmiths; you have a way of crafting them to show the naked truth."

"Thank you very much for the encouragement. This helps so much. I mean I have six years to prepare but I think I'll have enough time for everything."

"You _think_ you have six years. I would start building your funds now. It's going to take a lot of convincing commercials, fliers and pamphlets. You'll probably want a lot of polls run, internet advertising. But you have my full support, whether the President decides to mentor you or not."

"Thank you so much Congressman Frank. You have no idea how much that means to me." Sam stood and shook his hand.

Sam was feeling pretty good about this day. Things were coming into play. He had been in two good encouraging advisory meetings. He had actually gotten most of his speech written and he got to spend a little time with his love. He looked at his watch and saw that he had a few hours to kill. _I could go shopping for Josh or I could grab him and we go home for a little bit. Hmmm, decisions, decisions._ Sam was thinking when his phone rang. It was Josh.

"Hey where are you right now?"

"In a cab headed back to your office. Why?"

"Take it to the house instead and I'll meet you there with your stuff."

"Why? What's going on?"

"I finagled my schedule a little and found some playtime for us."Sam could hear Josh smiling through the phone. "So I will see you at the house? You have your keys incase you get there first?"

"Yes I have them. And I will see you there." Sam hung up and gave the driver the address to the house. _I love it when we get unexpected playtime!_

* * *

While riding in the cab, Sam's thoughts went back to lunch. Josh was right about two things. One, it was definitely an old school Italian place, complete with a romantic violinist. Two, the love shared between Salvatore and Raphael was priceless. The waitress sat them at a table and placed menus in front of them. Sam looked around to see all types of Italian artwork on the walls. The atmosphere was light and lovely. Just right for a romantic meal. He also noticed Sal walking up behind Rapha and pinching his behind. Rapha turned to scold him but Sal kissed him before he could. Josh and Sam laughed as Sal's cheeks turned red as the marinara. Rapha walked from table to table, singing along with the violinist, smiling every chance he got. He smile got even bigger as he approached their table.

"Ah, Joshua, _Ciao amico_. And this, this is your fella, _si_?"

"Yes. Rapha, this is Sam Seaborn. Sam this is Raphael Verdi."

"_B__uongiorno_ (hello) Sam."

"Nice to meet you Raphael."He said shaking his hand.

"_Per favore_ (please) call me Rapha. Everybody does. Sal, Sali, _Vieni qui e incontrare qualcuno_ (come here and meet someone)." Sal had been wrapping tableware in cloth napkins at a table near the kitchen. He came over to the table. "Sali, this is Joshua's fella Sam. Sam this is my husband Salvatore."

"_Benvenuti_ (welcome). Nice to meet you Sam. I'm glad to see that Josh has someone to hold hands with, _si_?"

"Yes." Josh smiled at Sam.

"You have been together 12 years, _si_?"

"Yes, our anniversary is next week. Josh will be coming to California to celebrate next week."

"_Fantastico!_ (Great!) Before you leave, give me your address, we send something special in the mail, ok?"

"Ok." Sam said, wondering what they would send.

"What would you like to order?" Rapha asked. Before they could say anything Sal spoke.

"How about _Pasto speciale amante del_ (Lover's Special Meal)? You will enjoy it." Sal said. "I make it myself."

"Ah, _Molto Bene_ (very good)."

"Sure, why not." Josh said. "No wine though; we have to go back to work." Sal nodded and had the waitress bring two glasses of lemonade. He smiled and went off to the kitchen; Rapha followed while the waitress took their menus. A few minutes later Rapha returned with a large salad bowl and two salad plates for them.

"_Mange!_ (Eat up!)" He said.

"Thank you." Rapha smiled at them and left to attend to other customers. "We're gonna have to learn Italian if we eat here a lot." Sam suggested.

"Probably so." They began eating the salad. About 15 minutes later Sal exited the kitchen with a large bowl that he set down in front of them. The smell was heavenly! The bowl was filled with linguini covered in a light green sauce with pieces of shrimp, chicken and sausage tossed in it.

"Whoa…" Sam said.

"This looks too good to eat." Josh said.

"_Pasto speciale amante del_." Sal said.

"Thank you." The said simultaneously. He bowed, smiling and when back to his task. Rapha glanced at the two and smiled. He went over to Sal and kissed him passionately, as if he was thanking him for something.

"See, I told you. They're too cute." Josh said.

"I see that now." Sam looked at their lunch. "I feel like we should be re-enacting 'Lady and the Tramp' with all this pasta." They laughed.

"Yea, except we don't have meatballs." Just then the violinist started to play "That's Amore" the song from that scene in the movie. They laughed at the coincidence. "It could only happen to us."

"Maybe we should, you know, see if we can recreate it."

"You serious?"

"Sure, why not?" Sam asked. So they tried. It took them each four twirls of pasta before they had a ribbon that was connected to both forks. Sam took a shocked breath. "I don't believe it!"

"Wait, don't move your fork yet; can you see which one it is?"Sam looked carefully.

"I think so."

"Ok, let's try not to break it. Ready? On the count of three." Josh counted to three and they each ate their forkful of pasta, taking care not to break the one piece on both forks. Finally, the said piece was in both of their mouths. Their heads moved closer and closer until they ate their way to the middle and kissed. Neither could hold in their laugh at themselves and or the situation. There was also applause from Sal and Rapha who had been looking at them.

"I'm so glad I moved my day around so we could have a moment like this." Josh said.

"Me too." Sam said, leaning over to kiss his boyfriend again.

They finished their lunch, holding hands and making plans for the next week.

"I've got Friday night and Saturday morning covered. So anything else is up to you." Sam said.

"What's Friday night?"

"Something special. You'll just have to wait and see." Sam teased.

"Boy, we sure have a lot of wait and sees for next weekend."

"Surprises are good though. I don't think we do them enough."

"Probably because we don't take suspense too well. I'm dying to know what your meetings are about today."

"And I'm dying to know what's in this package you're sending me."

"And I think we both want to know what Sal and Rapha have up their sleeve."

"I'm gonna have them send it to the office, so I don't miss it."

"Good idea. You ready to head back so we can make our meetings?"

"I guess." Sam said with disappointment in his voice. His didn't know how much time they would have together after their meetings. His flight was supposed to leave at 7:30. He figured his meeting with Congressman Frank wouldn't last longer than an hour, but there was no telling about Josh's meetings.

"I know. But look at the bright side…we got to spend some time together and we only have six days until we see each other again." Sam knew he was right; it didn't make the pending departure any easier. Before leaving, he made sure the Sal and Rapha had his office address so they could send whatever the surprise was.

* * *

The cab driver pulled up in front of the townhouse, Sam paid him and proceeded up the stairs. He had beat Josh there or else he would have been watching for the cab and opened the door for him. He used his keys and entered his other home. He hadn't been there since Thanksgiving when they all had dinner together. He had planned to spend one night there when they left Josh's mom in Florida but there was an emergency regarding his office and he had to take the long six-hour-turned eight-hour flight straight from Florida to California.

He hung up his coat and suit jacket on the coat rack by the front door. He called out Josh's name just in case he was in the bath or bedroom. He did take a few minutes to relieve himself and went to Josh's stereo system to see what in the player. His MP3 player was hooked up to it. _He finally learned how to do_ _it_, Sam thought. He scrolled through it to see what he had downloaded. There was a lot of jazz, some old school R&B, some 80s music. He selected a jazz playlist and it began to play as he heard keys jingling in the kitchen.

"Sam?" he heard Josh call.

"In the living room babe." He called back. Josh came in the room with a smile on his face.

"So what did you finagle on your schedule to get us some playtime?"

"Well," Josh said, placing Sam's items in the armchair. "I asked Pointer if he wanted to take the meetings I was going to. The committees really wanted to deal with him today anyway and not me. And he agreed. I wish everything in his office was that easy." He leaned closer to Sam and kissed him. "I take it your other meeting went well?"

"Yes, very well."

"Well, I think I deserve a little clue since I got us some playtime today."Josh said, loosening Sam's tie and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. "What do you say?" Josh began nipping at his now open neck. Just then, Sam's phone rang.

"I say, hold that thought." He said as he answered. Josh gave him an evil grin. "Congressman Seaborn?"

"Hey Sam its Ginger. I'm sorry to interrupt you."

"You weren't interrupting me, yet." Josh licked Sam's earlobe and Sam closed his eyes and tried not to let Ginger hear his moan.

"Good. Tell Josh I said 'hi' and this won't take long."

"Ginger says 'hi' and she promises it won't take long."

"Ok. Wait how did she know I was standing next to you?"

"Sam don't bother asking, I heard you try to suppress the moan." Sam chuckled. "Look, the airline called and they have lost power at their headquarters and their mainframe has been attacked. They have 75 airports that don't have flight info right now. They are estimating six-eight hour delays. They managed to reschedule your flight with another airline but it will leave at 9:15 instead of 7:30."

"Wow, that's a lot of airports. So I'll leave at 9:15?"

"Yes. You were a lucky one. Most of the flights won't be rescheduled until after midnight. I've already sent the information to your e-mail. Make sure you print it out before you leave Josh's so you can check in. Carl will be there to pick you up when the flight gets in. I'm sure you can keep yourself occupied until your flight."

"Already am. Leave a message if anything else changes."

"Will do." He hung the phone.

"What's going on?"Josh said, tugging on Sam's ear with his lips.

"Mmm…My airline has a mainframe problem and they…mmm… rescheduled my flight with someone else but it doesn't leave until 9:15."

"Oh, extra playtime." They both nodded as they kissed this one more sensual and yearning. "What do you say to leaving our phones in here and _we_ go somewhere else?" Sam took both of his phone clips off and tossed them on the couch. Josh tossed his phones and suit jacket near them. Sam untied Josh's tie and untucked his shirt. He began to unbutton it, nipping at his neck, making his lover moan.

Josh could feel Sam's warm hands slowly easing up his back underneath his t-shirt. He carefully untucked Sam's shirt, since it was one of the ones he loved to see Sam in and unbutton from the bottom up. Sam started towards the hallway to the bedroom. He had walked this hall so much, backwards most of the time and kissing. This time was no different. He walked backwards until he felt the bed at the back of his knees. He sat down, kicked off his shoes while Josh was climbing on top of him.

As he did this, he purposely brushed his hand up Sam's crotch to feel the hardening member. He caressed it through Sam's trousers, eliciting deep moans from him.

"Mmm…Josh…" He moaned. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." He looked into Sam's eyes. "Tell me what you want baby."

"I wanna feel your lips…"Josh kissed him, knowing full well that was not what he meant. But before he could complain, Josh asked him for his clue.

"You wanna tell me who your meeting was with this afternoon?" His finger brushed the tip of Sam's penis, making him arch his back.

"Uhnnn…Con…Congressman Ba…Barney Frank."Josh thought, _If I keep going I might be able to find out everything_. He paused.

"You know, there are certain things I could do _or not do_ and find out everything I want to know." Sam opened one eye to look at Josh. "But I'm going to be a good boy and wait. I earned my clue and that's all I'm going to take." He unbuckled and unzipped Sam's pants, pulled them down past his hips, letting them fall to the floor. He nuzzled his nose against the member straining against the material of his briefs. Blue, just like his shirt.

"I love it when your shirt and shorts match." He murmured into Sam's stomach.

"…mmm...suck me hard…" He whispered as Josh released the hard cock from the underwear; it seemed to spring up. He gently ran his tongue over the leaking tip. As much as he tried not to, Sam couldn't stop the bucking of his hips. Josh smiled; he loved to make him squirm. He slowly licked the underside from the base of Sam's penis to just under the tip and flicked his tongue. Josh rimmed the tip with his tongue, tasting Sam's essence rendering him breathless.

Josh reached up and kissed his lover's lips, enjoying the taste. Sam pushed Josh's shirt from his shoulders and proceeded to unbuckle his belt.

"We've got on too much clothing." Sam panted. He sat up and threw his shirt away from them, not holding the same regard for it as Josh. Josh ridded both of them of their undershirts and then stood to drop his pants and boxers. Sam immediately began kissing Josh's stomach, working his way down. Finding what he desired, he cupped Josh's buttocks and slid the semi-erect cock into his mouth. Josh's hands cupped the back of Sam's head, as he began grinding his hips towards his face.

"Damn… you and your talented tongue."Sam continued until Josh was almost at the edge. Reluctantly Josh pulled away. "I thought I was supposed to be doing this to you." He said kissing Sam, tasting himself on his lover's lips.

"Just thought I'd give a little something extra for getting us some playtime." He smiled seductively. Then he slid back further onto the bed, spreading his legs presenting his love with two awesome options for pleasure. Josh grinned and grabbed protection and lubricant from the nightstand. Josh immediately went back to his first request from Sam, sucking his cock. Josh coated a few fingers with lube and began circling his hole. He paused sucking long enough to slide in the middle finger. Sam hissed at the intrusion but quickly welcomed it, moaning. Two fingers were soon in and after the third, Sam was trying his best to hold on and wait for Josh to come inside him.

"Three months left you pretty tight." Josh commented. "Let me see if I can loosen you up a bit." They kissed with desire-swollen lips and Josh rolled the condom into his extreme hardness. He spread a little more lube on himself. Sam's legs were on either side of Josh's and he was spread wide. Josh steadied Sam's hips and slowly entered. "Oh my god." He whispered, closing his eyes as the sweet heat and tightness surrounded his cock. The pain caused Sam to curse, something he rarely did during sex.

"Uhh...shit…"Sam winced. Josh had to smile a bit at that word leaving Sam's mouth.

"Relax, baby." Josh cooed. Sam was too excited and that was the only time first entry was ever that painful for him. "Calm down, we have a little time." He waited until he could feel Sam's muscles relax a little. "That's it baby, relax and let me take care of you." Josh whispered into his ear. He started with the slow stroke that Sam loved but was surprised when he heard the following words…

"Faster, Josh…mmmm….faster…" Shocked lifted his eyebrows but he couldn't deny his Sweet Sam anything so he sped up, bringing himself closer to his climax. "Harder…fuck harder… (panting)…harder…" Josh complied, trying to hold back a little to see what was going on with Sam. He never was like this. He could feel Sam's fingers grabbing at his shoulders as if to make Josh thrust inside of him more.

Between the moments of pleasure, Josh wondered _What has gotten into Sam?_

"Josh…fuck me…" he cried "harder…god...harder…fuck me…ohhh…"Josh was trying his best to bring Sam to the breaking point by matching the cock stroking with his thrusts. He pulled completely out and entered as hard as he possibly could. His orgasm couldn't wait any longer and he began to feel the heat in his lower back.

"Sam…baby can't hold on much longer…come for me baby…" He coaxed, stroking and thrusting. He ran his finger across the slit and Sam shuddered. He stroked him again twice and ran continuously stroked the slit with his thumb. Sam's sexy body began to jerk and climax, tightening his inside muscles. Josh threw his head back at the pleasure surging through his body, crying out Sam's name. Sam dug his nails into Josh's hips as he felt himself burn with bliss, trying to call out Josh's name. His mind thought it, he called it in his heart, but it came out as breathless moans and incoherency. He felt like he was a spinning ball of fire. All he could see was a white blank and everything sounded like he was in a vacuum with a roaring plane engine.

The last surge finally went through Josh and he had to catch himself by his arms so he wouldn't fall right onto Sam. Sweat dripping from his face burned his eyes a little, as he opened them to see the beautiful blues that had tried to call his name. Sam was sweaty, limp and quiet. The left arm was to the side and the right just slid off Josh's back from the sweat. His eyes, closed and he seemed still. Too still.

"Sam?" He received no response. "Sam?" He patted his love's cheek, trying to get his attention. No change. Josh trying not to panic, reached to feel for a pulse and was greatly relieved when he felt it. "Come on babe, open your eyes for me." Josh coaxed. The lids remained shut, holding the beautiful blues hostage. Knowledge came rushing back to Josh's mind as his blood returned itself to the thinking head. Josh had heard of this phenomenon, but had never experienced it. And never with Sam. "Oh my god. Passing out from passion. He literally passed out."

He checked the pulse again and it began to right itself. Now, he just had to wait for Sam to wake up. He slowly pulled out of Sam's entrance. After checking for blood, he steadied his legs and walked to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth to clean off his Sweet Sam. He wiped off both of their torsos, both cock's and Sam's entrance. This new lube made quite a mess. He discarded the cloth in the hamper then set the alarm to wake them up in time to make Sam's flight. Josh lay down next to Sam, trying to get him to open his eyes.

"Sam, Sam…" he said into his ear. "It's time to wake up babe. Can you hear me?" He shook him a little, just as if he was waking him up in the morning after the alarm going off. Sam made a barely audible sigh and moved his lips. It sounded like he was saying Josh's name.

"Josh?"

"I'm here Sam. Can you open your eyes for me hun?" Josh could see his eyelashes fluttering and his eyes slowly opened. Sam immediately tried to sit up. "Wait, wait, not too fast Sam." Josh gently pushed him back down on the bed. Confusion was all over Sam's face as he looked around. "Do you know where you are?" Josh asked.

"In our D.C. bedroom. What happened?" He asked groggily. Josh chuckled a bit.

"Twelve years we've been together and this is the first time this has ever happened." Sam blinked trying to understand. "You passed out."

"From making love?"

"Yes, it's called passing out from passion. The emotions and physical feelings are so great the body and mind can't handle it."

"How long was I out?"

"I don't know, not quite 10 minutes." Sam's eyes were big with shock at the number. "What do you last remember?" Sam thought.

"I remember asking you to fuck me harder, which I never do…"

"True. Anything else?"

"Trying to say your name and everything went blank."He shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I passed out. That's never happened to me. Ever."

"Me either. Just lay here a bit and let the blood go back to your brain. We have plenty of time before I have to take you to the airport."

"Time to make love again?" Sam asked smiling, hoping.

"Uh, we'll see." Josh replied, kissing Sam's forehead. He pulled the blanket from the foot of the bed and covered them, wrapping his arms around his love. Sam looked at Josh and kissed him passionately.

"I love you."  
"I love you too." Josh replied. They were quiet for a few minutes, listening to the playlist Sam selected as it played through the extended stereo speakers.

"You think Sal and Rapha have moments like this?" Sam asked.

"What cuddling? I'm sure they do."

"No, I mean passing out." Josh laughed.

"Maybe when they have make-up sex. I bet their relationship is amazing though. With or without sex."

"You know, I was thinking that we should take a vacation. Go somewhere we've never been. We don't get to take as much time off as we want or should."

"True. I think it takes a toll on us." Josh said. He was quietly thinking about Sam's passing out. _Suppose he passed out because he missed me, missed us so much? I've got to find away for us to be together more often. Or together all the time._ He gently brushed a few strands of Sam's hair from his forehead. "If we could go somewhere, at anytime, where would you want to go?"

"After meeting Sal and Rapha, I think Italy would be awesome."

"Any city in particular?"

"Nah, start at the top of boot and go down."

"No place in particular?"

Well, I guess we'd have to hit the tourist places: Rome, Milan, Pisa, Venice. I'd like to go to Florence and Parma."

"Parma?"

"Yeah, you know to see where the cheese and the prosciutto are made. You?"

"I'd like to see Sicily. Naples maybe."

"See, we'll have to go from top to bottom. Think two weeks would do it?"

"Maybe. Maybe longer."

"Where are they from?"

"Tuscany I think." Josh replied.

"Maybe we can go with them when they plan to go back for a visit."

"That would be a nice trip. How much trouble could four gay guys get into in Italy?"

"Not just four gay guys, two sets of lovers." Sam said. "Can you imagine the cooking lessons they could give us?"

"Now that would be awesome. We should check into it and see what they think."

"Oh, I'm sure they wouldn't mind. I could see them encouraging us to be alone every chance they got."

"And the downside would be?" Josh asked chuckling. "They just want to be as happy as they are."

"Are we? Are we as happy as they are?"

"I would say yes."

"Me too. Just wish there wasn't such distance in miles and time between us." Sam said looking at Josh, sighing. He was working on a way for them to be together. It was going to take a while, but he was working on it. Josh pulled him closer, kissing him.

"I know baby."

Sam placed his head on Josh's chest and listened to his heartbeat. Josh's gentle breathing combined with the music lulled Sam to sleep. Josh could hear Sam's breathing even out. He relaxed a little knowing that his love was next to him for a little bit.

_Truth be told I miss this the most. Not just the post lovemaking cuddling, but cuddling in general. I miss waking up next to him in the morning or comforting him in the middle of the night, when Sam has so much on his mind that he can't sleep. _

_I miss kisses and showers together. Sharing everything, anything. Sure, we talk on the phone just about all day, but nothing compares to sitting next to him and talking, watching those beautiful blues change with his mood. I love this political life I have in D.C. I ran three presidential elections; I was the White House Chief of Staff. I was Deputy of the White House Chief of Staff. I'm a Congressional Chief of Staff. But above all that, I've met and fallen in love with the most incredible man, my best friend. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'd give it all up to be with him. **All of it.** He wouldn't even have to ask._

He glanced at his sleeping Sweet Sam.

_I can't imagine my life without him. I need him; we need each other. They say great relationships can't exist without sacrifices being made. I think we've sacrificed enough. Four years is enough. We need to be together. _

At that moment, Joshua Lyman made a mental note to start looking for suitable jobs in Santa Ana, California.

* * *

**A/N:** I got the Italian words from Bing translator. I think it gave me the correct phrasing and order of words. If you speak Italian and it's **not** correct please PM or e-mail me **ASAP** me the correct phrases and I will change them. I put all of the foreign words in italics. It's a habit I kept from being a music major. When taking notes or writing a paper, I always wrote my foreign terms in lowercase so I could remember to put them in italics when I typed it out.

Sorry it was so long, but I had to get it out. The next few (maybe four) chapters will be flashbacks of how their romantic relationship started after Josh came to see Sam in New York a second time. Pre-warning, they will probably be long ones too. Thanks for reading and please review if you can. It's instant encouragement.


	7. The Beginning

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole.

**A/N:** Sorry, about the long wait for the update. It's been a weird month. Thanks to those who have been reading. I like to see numbers. Oh, I apologize if this seems short; I'm filling in the background. And for those real fans of Rob Lowe, he has officially joined the cast of "Parks and Recreations". I found out via twitter. If you want, follow him (at symbol) RobLoweprofile.

Chapter 6: The beginning

Josh woke up by himself. He listened for Sam but didn't hear him at first. He looked over at the alarm and saw that he'd overslept. He didn't even hear it go off. Sam walked back into the room smiling. Josh stretched.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You needed some rest too." He said kissing him. "Besides, I needed to print off my ticket information."

"Do you want to shower before you fly?"

"Nah, I like to fly smelling like my lover. Too bad for the person sitting next to me." They laughed. "Come on. Let's get dressed so we can eat before my flight."

They ate in one of the airport restaurants, each dreading the moment that Sam would have to board his flight.

"I don't want you to go." Josh whined.

"I know but I have to. Just think, next week you'll be in Santa Ana with me and we can enjoy a few days of peace and love together." Sam said kissing his hand. Josh smiled at him and they both looked at their watches. It was time for Sam to head through security. They held hands as Josh walked with him to the security gate. Both hesitating, wanting to kiss each other goodbye but not wanting to make a public scene. Sam looked around.

"Oh, the hell with it. If someone sees, they see. I hope they take a picture." Sam said and leaned in and kissed Josh passionately. "I love you baby."

"I love you too baby." Sam finally let go of Josh's hand and went through security.

As the plane took off Sam reflected on how their romantic relationship began. He had given Gage Whitney Pace a month's notice once he decided to join the campaign. It was just a formality and a polite one at that. Sam would have left with Josh the next morning if it had been possible. That month gave him time to find an apartment and get his things packed. Lisa still didn't understand why he was doing this.

"It's the opportunity of a lifetime baby."

"A presidential campaign is the opportunity of a lifetime?"

"Yes it is. The job only becomes vacant every four years and I might not get a chance next go around. If all goes well, I could potentially be working for the White House. Do you know how awesome that would be? I would be in the history books. I would have a job appointed by The President of the United States. That doesn't excite you?"

"Do I look excited?" She gave him a very annoyed look.

"You should be."

"I hate D.C. The weather sucks and the social circles are lame."

"Social circles?" He asked. Now he was the one with the annoyed look. "Is that all you care about? Social circles. You'd have the chance to meet the leaders of the world and their spouses. Some of these couples' bank accounts are just a few bucks shy of being equal to God's and you call _that _lame?" Sam shook is head. "I'm talking politics. I'm talking the White House Lisa. I'd be in the Oval Office on a daily basis. The Oval Office." She looked at him as he packed more clothes. "And the weather isn't much different than New York's. The sun shines, it gets cold, it snows and it rains."

"But how long do I have to put us on hold? I thought you wanted to get married."

"I do Lisa, I do. Or else I wouldn't have proposed."

"How long Sam?"

"What? You want a timeline? I don't know. I can't give you one. We'll campaign, through the DNC. If we win that, then we work until Election Day and then I don't know. That depends on the voters."

"That's such a helpful answer Sam. So what am I supposed to do?" She asked as she flopped down onto the bed, crossing her arms.

"If I had a crystal ball, I could tell you everything. Just don't make any big commitments to anything yet." That was not what she wanted to hear.

By the end of March, Sam had packed up his life and moved to D.C. Lisa refused to come with him. Not even to see where they could be living. She was even refusing to answer his phone calls. Sam was trying to include her, so she would see that she still had a place in his life. He hoped she could see the future with him.

* * *

Writing campaign speeches was a new and exciting thing for Sam. The way Governor Bartlet presented the words excited him even more. He knew how to speak, he knew how to write but he wasn't sure how his words were going to get the Massachusetts Governor elected. He believed in him, Josh believed in him. Everyone on the staff believed in him or else they wouldn't be there. But would the American people? Would they believe enough to vote him in?

Life on the campaign trail took some getting used to. Every few days sometimes everyday, there was a new place to sleep. Fast food places were dictating their diets and fought everyone's body on a constant basis. Things faired better, when they stumbled upon a 24-hour eatery. Uncomfortable bus rides created aches, pains and cramps in muscles people didn't know they had. The joys of hotel laundry weren't anything to write home about either; just another necessary evil.

Sam discovered something while riding the campaign bus; motion sickness. All the car rides and family vacations he had taken as a child, riding back and forth to see friends not to mention all the years of his sailing experience couldn't compare to the first day on the bus. He was nauseous from the moment the engine started.

"Seriously Sam, are you going to be ok?" Josh asked. Sam looked at him from underneath the towel covering his face.

"Yeah. It's nothing"

"Nothing? Well, nothing sure smells pretty sour." Josh replied, referring to the smell on the bus's bathroom from Sam's vomit.

"Sorry. I can't explain it." Sam said. "I've never been car sick in my life. Never. Even the first time my dad took me sailing didn't make me sick. I don't know."

At the next rest stop, Dr. Bartlet came onto the bus to make sure Sam was ok.

"Oh, Ma'am you didn't have to come here. I'll be fine in a few days."

"Nonsense Sam. My husband may be running for President but I'm still a doctor. And as a doctor, it is my duty to make sure that everyone is well. Now, say 'ah'". Sam did and she used a tongue depressor to check for swollen tonsils. "Do you get sick in a certain part of the bus or anywhere you sit?" Sam hadn't thought about it.

"I don't know."

"It might be psychological. It could happen, only when you write or when you're around certain people. Sometimes body odor, cologne or perfume can make you sick."

"I hadn't paid attention to it."

"Well try it next time few times it occurs. Until then try these peppermints. And when we find a drugstore, you should get some Dramamine. You may need the one that you can where as a bracelet. I've prescribed them for pregnant women before." Sam eyes widened. "Don't worry. You can't see them if your shirt sleeves are down"

"Yes ma'am" he replied.

The peppermints seemed to help for little while. Sam tried to pay more attention to when the sickness occurred. He did notice a little upset stomach when Toby read his speeches. Mainly because he would have to rewrite them, unnecessarily sometimes he thought.

He noticed a little upset stomach when he and Josh were close to each other. Even when they were with the others, sometimes he felt it even more when there was a group. He didn't understand it. It was just Josh. He shrugged it off to Josh telling potentially embarrassing stories about them. Sam began to realize that he felt nausea when he argued with Josh. _But we argue all the time_, he thought. _Why is this any different?_ He made a mental note to remember or ask what they argued about.

He felt the nausea when he talked with Lisa on the phone. That is, when she answered his calls. He tried his best not to let each conversation end in an argument. He hated arguing with her. He always listened and she never did. It soon became unavoidable. It got to the point that Sam didn't want to call home. He felt like saving his money for the hotel laundry and vending machines.

* * *

One night, while Sam was sitting out in the courtyard of the hotel, the Governor came out to smoke a cigar. Several Secret Service agents came out to survey the area.

"I'd think with your thin California blood you'd be freezing by now," he said. Sam stood when he recognized the voice. He was dressed in sweats with a hooded sweatshirt. He had taken a walk earlier but wasn't ready to go to bed yet, which is why he was sitting in the courtyard.

"I've got on a long sleeve shirt underneath. I'm fine sir."

"Please sit, sit. None of this 'sir' stuff. I haven't got the job yet."

"Just showing respect." Sam replied sitting down.

"If you want to show me respect, don't tell my wife about this," he said lighting the cigar. "She doesn't approve this message." He smiled and took a few relaxing puffs. "No, we're not at that 'sir' status yet. Although, if you keep writing like you do, we will be."

"I'm glad it feels that way to you."

"It doesn't to you?"

"No sir, not yet." Bartlet took a few puffs on the cigar.

"It will Sam. Give it time." He sat next to him. "The problem is, is that you can't see how good you really are. You should try and listen to your words sometimes as a voter, not a writer repeating and correcting every word and phrase. I know you do it because I do it too. I'm constantly thinking of how I should have emphasized this or that." He looked at the younger man. "I haven't met many people whose words flow like yours. You're an amazing writer Sam, a real natural."

"Thank you sir."

"You don't sound convinced." Sam shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the ground.

"We're always our own worst critics."

"True, but you are better than most I've seen."

"Critic or writer?"

"Ha. Both." They chuckled.

"Not if you ask Toby. Seems like he loves ripping my words to shreds. He acts like those words don't mean anything to me."

"Now there's the big difference between you and Toby." Sam looked up at the older gentleman. "He likes to write. He writes to write. He knows the words to invoke emotion. You write from emotion. When they live, they are a part of you. So you are emotionally attached to them."

"So I should stop being so emotional when I write?"

"Oh no. No, leave the emotion in. The passion behind the argument is what I need. That's what people need to hear. That's what you provide." Sam nodded silently. The Governor took a long draw on the cigar. "How's your motion sickness? Better?"

"Dr. Bartlet told you?" He nodded. "It's better. I think it's just nerves."

"What are you nervous about?" Sam sighed.

"Short list or long?"

"Whichever." Sam took a cleansing breath. If he couldn't trust his "boss" to give a sympathetic ear, who could he trust?

"I'm losing my fiancée. She didn't want me to leave New York or the firm. She's barely talking to me. I think she might even hate me right now. I had her put our wedding plans on hold because..."

"Because what?"

"Just because. I don't where this will lead me. No point in stringing her along until I know something concrete."

"A sensible decision." Bartlet paused. "Cold feet?"

"Josh asked me the same thing."

"Well?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

"Tired of practicing law?" Sam tilted his head to one side and thought.

"I guess I lost my passion for it. At that firm and that kind of law, anyway."

"Your father got you the job there, correct?"

"Yes he did."

"Perhaps you've outgrown it."

"Perhaps. Maybe I'm losing my passion for her too. Maybe it's all tied together. Her, New York, law."

"It's possible you just need a new thrill. You'll have plenty of time to figure it out on the road. What else is on the list?" Sam was surprised that Governor Bartlet wanted to know more about him.

"I guess my speeches. I want to make sure that I'm doing the best I can. My words will help people decide if you're the next leader of the free world."

"I thought we already covered that? You'll be fine. Next item."

"My relationship with Josh is changing."

"Oh? How so?" Bartlet was very interested in this and was hoping this part of the conversation would shed some light on a conversation he and Abby had a few days earlier.

"I don't know. It's hard to describe. We're still friends but it's different. We argue. A lot."

"Yes, I've noticed. You two never worked together? Never argued before?"

"No, not like this. The arguments are different. They don't seem to be really about what they should be about. Does that make sense?"

"Yes. It's like an old married couple arguing about the cost of food when one of them is really complaining about the toilet seat being left up."

"Yeah I guess." Sam paused in thought. "I see him in a different light. I can't figure it out yet."

"You will. Josh is in your corner like you wouldn't believe, Sam. You think you and Toby have it out, you should have heard him justify going to New York, _twice_ to see you. And then _convince_ us that we needed to hire you. He's proud of you, you know. He'll probably never say it but he is."

"He feels the same way about you, sir." Bartlet chuckled.

"You impress him. And not just with your words. There's a different look on his face when he mentions your name." The Governor was taking the last puff on his cigar. "He adores you, admires you. The way his face lights up, you'd think he was in love with you." Sam's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened at the suggestion.

"In love? No. Not Josh, not with me anyway."

"I don't know Sam. I can only attest to what I see and I see love when he talks about you." He stood and stretched his legs. "Be patient. You'll figure out this next stage in your lives." He tapped out the rest of the cigar. "You're doing great Sam. If you don't hear it from anyone else, you've heard it from me." He patted Sam on the shoulder. "'Night Sam."

"Goodnight sir."

* * *

A few days later, Sam found out there was more to this arguing between him and Josh and that more people than just Governor Bartlet had thoughts about them being in a relationship. It was early afternoon, but late for lunch and Sam was sitting at a table on one side of a partition. He attempting to eat his lunch and write. He could hear a group of college girls on the other side. He couldn't tell if they were the political interns, the political students, or just the college volunteers.

"Hey what do you_ really_ think that argument was about this morning?" Girl A said.

"You mean Josh and Sam? Who knows, girl who knows."Girl B replied.

"Probably lack of sleep." Girl C suggested.

"Sounded more like the lack of sex to me." Girl B stated. They laughed. _Sex? Lack of sex?_ Sam began to think of the possibility. It **had **been a while since he and Lisa were intimate.

"They don't even room together and they're always working. When would they find time?" Girl D asked. _Wait...who's she talking about having sex? They've never met Lisa._

"Yeah, a few hours alone would probably take care of the two of them." Girl A said.

"So who's top and who's bottom?" Asked Girl C.

"Good question. I think Sam bottoms. He seems kind of feminine." Girl A said. _Feminine? What? Oh my God! They're talking about Josh and me!_

"I don't know now. Sam's kind of manly. Haven't you noticed his muscles and that California physique? He looks like he could wear Josh out." They laughed_. Josh and me?_ For all of the men and women they had each dated, he never thought about dating Josh. And here were four people who thought they already were.

"Either way, I think they need it. Who's in charge of booking rooms? They need to put them in a room for one night. Or a weekend." Girl C said.

"Yea, a weekend would do wonders for them."

Sam was so shocked. He didn't know what to think. If these four thought that they were together, who else did?

* * *

Josh had been wondering around the hotel looking for a quiet place to think. If he turned left, there were staffers, volunteers and tourists. If he turned right, there was Toby, Leo, C.J. and Sam. At that moment, all he wanted was some silence. He needed some time to figure out what was going on between him and Sam. They had never argued like they had this morning. They should have been trying to set an example for the others, especially the college students. Instead, they were having heated conversations about- nothing really. Absolutely nothing. _God, we're turning into an episode of Seinfield, _Josh thought.

He ended up in the lounge, hidden by plants. He sat to one side with a cup of coffee and a sandwich. He wasn't really into either. On the other side of the hugely potted plants, sat a group of college volunteers. It sounded like frat boys and a few jocks.

"Dude, if being a lawyer requires arguing like that, I'm not sure I still want to be one." Boy A stated.

"I know exactly what you mean. Sam was all over the place." Boy B replied.

"You have to agree though, the argument was right on." Boy C said. "Besides, if you're passionate enough you could argue about anything."

"Right on?" Boy B asked.

"Dude, you can't be that blind! They were arguing about something other than what we heard. I don't even know if _they_ knew what they were arguing about." Boy A said. _He might be right_, Josh thought as he sipped his coffee. _I'm not sure what that argument was about_.

"You sure?" Boy C asked.

"Of course. Man, that was a lover's quarrel if I ever saw one." Boy D stated.

"Lover's quarrel? You think they're a couple?" Boy C asked.

"If they're not, they need to be. Those brothers need to get laid." Boy B said.

"There's no need to be, they _have_ to be a couple. Nobody argues like old married couples but old married couples." Boy A replied.

Josh nearly choked on his coffee. _Lover's quarrel? Old married couples? Are they serious? Do these guys __**really believe**__ that we're a couple? What the hell is going? Who gave them that idea?_

"Hey weird question, who's top, who's bottom?" Boy B asked.

"Josh is top." Boy C said.

"Definitely." Boy A agreed.

"I think Sam has his moments, but I think he likes being bottom." Boy D said.

"Wonder how long they been together?" Boy C asked.

"I hear they've know each other about 10 yrs. Maybe that long." Boy B said.

"Ten years. Told ya, old married couple." Boy A said.

Josh was shocked at the idea that people thought he and Sam could be a couple. He never thought of Sam that way. Or did he? He went to New York to get Sam to work for the campaign, but suppose, just suppose he went to New York for totally different reasons? After all, he did go twice.

_The campaign needed him. The campaign needed his help. The campaign did need him, right?_ He couldn't have feelings for Sam. He just couldn't. They were best friends. Best friends for Pete's sake. His job during the wedding was supposed to be the best man, not to attempt to be the bride. **They say the best lovers start out as friends first**. _Whoa, where did __**that**__ come from? Lovers? He's engaged to Lisa. He's going to marry Lisa. Isn't he?_


	8. To woo or not to woo

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole.

Chapter 7: To woo or not to woo, that is the question

It was nearly ten p.m. when Sam finally made it home. Fatigue was beginning to set in. It had been a mentally and physically draining day. And making love with Josh didn't help the physical. But it did help his heart; he wouldn't have wanted to spend his free time any other way. Sam flipped through the mail and set it on the tale, not mentally able to look at it. He listened to the voicemail messages, grabbed his recyclable water bottle from the fridge and made his way to the bedroom.

He undressed and stretched. He took some Tylenol to help get rid of his mild headache. It usually happened when he had turn around trips like today. He sent Josh a text. Josh turned his head towards the nightstand and picked up his phone.

**1new msg sam 10:30 p.m.**

hey babe u don't have 2 answer this i'm home & safe sleep well *i luv u*

**1 new msg josh 10:32 p.m. **

i miss u already luv u 2 *kiss*

Sam got into bed and covered up, wishing it was Josh's arms instead of the blankets. Josh turned over wishing Sam were next to him. His thoughts turned to their future once again. What kind of job would he find in California that would suit him? He didn't know but he was looking forward to finding out. In the mean time, his dreams took him back to when he and Sam started to discover their feelings for each other.

* * *

Bartlet for America Campaign Trail…

Sam and Josh had tried to keep their arguments to a minimum. Neither of them really knew why. Josh hadn't told Sam what he heard the young men say and Sam didn't repeat what the young women had said. Sam didn't even discuss what he and the Governor had talked about either; he didn't know how to bring it up. His relationship with Lisa was becoming nonexistent. They rarely talked. He no longer cared about the New York social scene (not that he ever really did) and although she never cared about politics, she cared less about what happened on the road. That's probably when the dreams about Josh started.

Sam and Josh never shared a room together. They had never asked to, never thought to ask to share a room. Most times, he was by himself. He liked that so he could concentrate on writing or resting. Every once in a while he had to share with Toby, which was never a pleasant experience. Everyone was a creature of habit, and some creature's habits were…what's the word…more annoying, nerve-wracking? To put it nicely, he would just rather not room with Toby.

Stating that this day was a very busy day was an understatement. Sam had written and rewritten eight speeches. He had read statistic after statistic, poll after poll. He had spoken with at least 250 concerned Americans, asking questions and voicing opinions. In between all these things were meetings. By the time the campaign was through for the day so was Sam.

As he took a shower, he couldn't even remember what he had eaten for dinner. He didn't really remember eating dinner. Toby hadn't come into the room yet which was good for Sam. The peace and quiet combined with his fatigue would have him asleep in no time. His sleep would be so deep, Toby could have brought in a marching band playing "Hail to the Chief" and Sam might not hear it. He had no idea that his mental and physical fatigue would betray his body in front of Toby.

By the time Toby came to the room, Sam had been asleep for about three hours. He didn't even stir as Toby moved about the room. As he sat on the bed, he thought he heard Sam mummer something in his sleep. He chalked it up to Sam's tiredness and went to bed. As he closed his eyes, he heard Sam murmur again. It sounded like he was calling Josh's name.

"Not there…mmm…there…" Toby looked towards Sam's direction and he was still deep in sleep. Then Sam was quiet. Toby turned over and tried to go to sleep. He was just about there when he heard:

"Josh, wait…stop…no…mmm don't stop…" followed by a sexy moan.

"Unbelievable." Toby said in frustration as he looked for something to throw at Sam to either wake him or get him to stop talking. "Sam!" Sam made a snorting sound, turned over, and got quiet. Toby took the other pillow from the bed and placed it over his ear so he wouldn't hear Sam. He wished he had some earplugs or cotton balls because the pillow didn't work as well as he wanted.

Things went the same way for the rest of the night with Toby finally stuffing balled up toilet papers in his ears. Morning came and a fully rested Sam was up and ready for the day. His roommate however, not so much. Toby would have preferred to sleep through breakfast but couldn't because it was a breakfast meeting. It was easily detectable who had the restful night's sleep. Donna was going from person to person asking if anyone needed anything, she would be making a store run later that day.

"Ear plugs." Toby said. "The best you can find." She wrote down the request and went to the next person.

"That's an odd request Tobias." C.J. said as they started to fill their plates from the buffet.

"You didn't have the night I had." He replied.

"What, was Sam repeating his speech in his sleep?"

"I wish; it would have been more pleasant to listen to." He looked over at Sam who was now talking with Josh and some other staffers. Then he whispered to C.J. "Do you know if anything is really going on between those two?"

She looked over her shoulder.

"Who? Josh and Sam? Nothing but the usual banter, I guess."

"Banter, 17th century term for playful teasing between two people. Emphasis on playful teasing."

"Yeah, I guess so. Banter. Why the inquiry?"

"I think Sam was having a sex dream about Josh last night."

"Aha, so we know why Mayor McGrumpy is extra grumpy this morning. Jealous are we?"Toby gave C.J. an annoyed look as he reached for a coffee cup.

"Hardly. He was very vocal last night and it greatly disturbed my sleep, hence my request for earplugs. It will not bode well if I have to listen to him tell Josh 'it's all yours' again." C.J. tried to hold in her laugh but couldn't.

"Wow, I can't even imagine."

"And no one should ever have to."

"So just tell Shelia you request a room change. Tell her to make sure if the rooms have to be oddly paired again, not to oddly pair the two of you."

"And you want know the worst part of this?"

"There's a worst part?"

"I don't even think he knows he had the dream."

* * *

Sam went on with the rest of the day and during the rare lull, he sat down and tried to remember his dream from the night before. It was unusual to say the least. He and Josh were in nice, quiet place. It wasn't too romantic, but they were. They were kissing and Josh's lips were travelling down Sam's neck to his chest via his unbuttoned shirt. Josh was whispering so many things and doing so many things that made Sam smile and turned him to putty in Josh's hands. Josh's hands…, which were in Sam's pants. The pants were probably unbuckled and unzipped by Josh. Sam remembered moaning and what sounded like Toby banging on a door.

_Now_ w_hy would Toby be trying to get in where we are?_ He remembered having his arms around Josh's neck, as if he was holding on for dear life as his pleasure ripped through his body. _That explains the stickiness in my pajamas._ _But why would I be having sex with Josh? I've never thought of him that way. I mean, I love him, but sex? Of all the conversations we've ever had about sex, none of them have been about __**us **__having sex with each other._

He took another sip of his coffee and thought about the end of the dream. That was the most puzzling part. They confessed their love for each other. Real, sincere, romantic love. Sam sighed and tried to remember if he had ever had dreams like these before. He felt embarrassed when he remembered that he had. As they flooded his mind, it showed on his face. Blushing, he looked around to see if anyone had noticed his current condition. No one seemed to notice.

Most of the dreams weren't sex dreams. They were of the two of them talking and holding hands or kissing and touching. Very few were actually sex dreams. _And this last one felt __**so**__ real. Maybe that's why Toby was banging on the door! Maybe I did something in my sleep and he heard me! Oh my God. I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye again. _Sam groaned when he thought of the evil looks Toby had been giving him all morning. People kept asking Sam what he had done to Toby to deserve those scary looks. And they were scary. Sam shrugged because he didn't have an answer. Now he did, but he wasn't about to tell them _**that**_.

What was making him feel this way? Was it Lisa's withdrawal? After being in a relationship with her for so long, he should want to spend time by himself, right? Sam tried to think of what he did before when something this big happened in his life. He talked to Josh. Josh was always there no matter what. When his cousin died in that tragic car accident, Josh was there to comfort him. Well, they comforted each other since they were all friends at the same program that summer in college. When his third big relationship ended, Josh was there for him. Phillip had treated him so badly by cheating on him and blaming it on Sam. Not much in this world could rattle Sam's confidence and self-esteem, but this dropped it down to completely nothing. Josh helped him rebuild his confidence. Josh seemed to be there for some of the biggest moments in his adult life. Maybe Josh was anticipating that Sam would need him. But that didn't explain the dreams.

Sam thought about his relationship with Lisa. He wondered how solid it had been. Because it was becoming clearer and clearer every time they talked that, their problems started years before Josh even thought about coming to New York for Sam. Was he so numb and out of touch that he didn't notice that there as only one person in their relationship and it wasn't him? Truth be told, he felt like he hadn't been _in love_ for a long time. Maybe even years. There was care and concern; that comes from being together for a while. He was going through the motions, saving face.

But what did Josh have to do with it? The question that was now coming to his mind was, had he always had feelings for Josh, but ignored them and pushed them away? What if he was avoiding dealing with it by choosing to be with someone else? Then he began to wonder if Josh had ever felt the same, pushing his feelings for Sam back in order for Sam to have who he wanted (or thought he wanted). Maybe he did the same for himself; settling for Mr. or Ms. Right-Now-will-do and not Mr. or Ms. Right-for-my-life.

Sam didn't want to settle anymore and it was crystal clear that he and Lisa weren't going to get married. Could Josh be his Mr. Right? Could Josh love him whole-heartedly, flaws and all? _**Josh Lyman?**_ Maybe he was making all this up, _wishful thinking_. Maybe what they felt for each other was just friendship, pure and simple. But it felt like more. Sam tried to figure out what he could do, he had to figure this out now. He went looking for their resident doctor. She may not have been a shrink, but she was the closest thing he had to one.

* * *

Sam walked into the created lounge area in the dressing rooms of the theatre. Dr. Bartlet was just finishing an interview with a local reporter. Her assistant met Sam at the door and asked what he needed.

"Is she available? I need to talk with her."She looked back at the governor's wife.

"I'll let her know you need to see her." The assistant walked over and waited as Dr. Bartlet said her goodbyes to the reporter. The Secret Service would escort the reporter out. Sam could see the boss and assistant talking with the assistant motioning for Sam to come over.

"Hi Sam. The motion sickness back?"

"No ma'am. I need to talk to you about something else."

"Alright then, have a seat." They sat and she offered him something to drink. He opted for water. He hoped it wouldn't be too many people in the area. C.J. was quietly going over notes and other things with the member's of the Dr. Bartlet's staff. "What's on your mind Sam?"

"You and the governor are friends, right?"

"We've been together this long, I should hope so."

"Is it safe to assume that you were friends before you started dating?"

"It is." She replied. Sam took a deep breath to prepare himself.

"Ok, here's my question. If you and the governor had decided to not be a couple anymore, do you think you could have still remained friends?"

"Actually I think we would have. Jed is such a people person; it's hard _not_ to be his friend."

"I think the Republicans and some Democrats would disagree with you." They laughed a little.

"True, but his real true friends know who he his. We were friends for a long time before he had even had the courage to ask me out. I have no doubt that we had never fallen in love, or fallen out of love, that we would still be friends. Why did you ask?" Sam hesitated and took sip of his water.

"There's a friend that I may or may not have romantic feelings for."

"Does this friend have feelings for you?"

"I don't know yet. But I feel they might. I'm wondering if I should take the leap and see."

"Well, if you don't leap you'll never know, will you?"

"No ma'am, I won't." He replied.

"So what's stopping you?"

"I don't want to lose our friendship in case it doesn't work out."

"So fear is keeping you from leaping?"

"Doesn't it do everyone that way?"

"I guess it does at one point or another. Well, tell me about this, person."

"This person…uh my friend is a highly intelligent person. My friend is strong willed, smart, determined."

"And as your friend?"

"My friend has been there for me, when a lot of stuff has gone wrong and I've been hurt. My friend has encouraged me, given me advice on love, life and work. I really value this person's place in my life and I don't want to lose it if we can't make a love relationship work."Dr. Bartlet nodded her head as she listened to Sam talk about his friend.

"Do you think your friend feels this way about you?"

"I'm sure the sentiment is the same."

"Why don't you just ask Josh how he feels?"She asked, catching Sam off guard.

"I'm sorry ma'am. Did you say I needed to ask Josh? Why would I need to ask Josh?"

"I wasn't sure until now, but it's very clear that you have feelings for him and you're wondering if he feels the same. The only way to make sure is to ask him."

"But, I can't…I couldn't even think of asking him that. I'd feel so embarrassed. And what if he says no or laughs in my face? I'll feel even worse."

"You do agree that you need know one way or the other correct?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"So be creative. You know how to do that don't you Sam? Use what you have to find out what you want to know."

"But what about the campaign? Wouldn't it hurt the governor's chances if…if people knew?"

"It hasn't hurt anything so far. You should let Jeb handle all that and concentrate on getting this straightened out. Besides, we both think you'd make a great couple. He doesn't have to disclose the personal lives of his staffers unless it's found to be a threat to national security."

"Both of you? He knows? When?"

"Well, we've all been participating in the process of elimination and developing theories. He had a little more insight after he talked with you a few weeks ago. When he was out smoking his cigar." Sam winced.

"You weren't supposed to know about that."

"We're an old married couple Sam; there are a lot of things he does that I'm not 'supposed' to know about. But the beauty of being in love with your best friend is that you always have honesty, no matter what. He couldn't have kept that from me if he tried." Sam smiled at the thought that he could have a normal relationship with Josh, one as normal as the Bartlet's. Maybe. He rose to leave.

"Thank you Dr. Bartlet for listening to me. I know you must think I'm a basket case." She stood from her chair.

"I do not think that Sam. What I think is that you are a young man who has discovered that he was in love with the wrong person and is now realizing who that correct person is. Don't over think it Sam; just let Josh know what's in your heart. He will appreciate your honesty and I think the response will surprise you." Sam thanked her again and he left the theatre.

* * *

The campaign bus was ready to take staffers back to the hotel and Sam was wondering what he could do to find out where Josh's feelings were. Dr. Bartlet's words echoed in his ears "use what you have to find out what you want to know." Sam thought and thought. Finally, an idea came to him. There were quite a few businesses near the hotel- Walgreens, Office Max, Kinko's, a grocery store, gas station. Moreover, a book store.

Sam walked into Book Ends with one thing on his mind- a book on the art of wooing or love poetry. After walking around aimlessly, he found books on both. He purchased them. Now for part two. He headed over to Office Max. He did need some supplies to write speeches on; he didn't always like to write by laptop. His basket held legal pads, writing utensils, a new clipboard (his last one disappeared). Then he stopped in the stationary isle. They carried lots of party and wedding stationary. There was fun stuff, baby stuff, feminine stuff, but nothing to his liking.

"I can't use this stuff." A store associate walked to help him.

"Can I help you sir?" Sam looked at him.

"Do you have any masculine stationary?"

"Masculine, sir?"

"Yeah, something without flowers or bubbles and kittens and isn't pink." The associate looked.

"I think I saw something that looks like old parchment in the clearance bin." He motioned for Sam to follow him and he showed him what he was talking about. Sam looked it carefully.

"This could work. Yeah, it could work really well. Are there envelopes?" The associate looked in the bin.

"No, there are some close to that color near the invitations. How many do you need?" He walked over them and grabbed a box.

"Good question. How many are in there?"

"Fifty sir."

"Fifty's fine. I may not need that many." He came back and handed it to Sam.

"Is there anything else I can help you with sir?"

"Nope. I think I'm ready to check out." Sam followed him to the checkout counter.

Sam hoped he would get the chance to skim through one or both of his books before the rally started that evening, but things didn't work out that way. The rally went well though. Everyone was pleased with the turnout and was leaving with happy thoughts about the city's votes. They all piled on the bus, their home away from home. It was going to be a long bus ride; everyone had changed into clothes that were more comfortable. Laptops, stats sheets and poll info were put away for the night. Junk food and fast food was in heavy supply. Everyone was winding down, trying to find a comfortable place for the night.

Sam was no different. He had found a quiet seat on the bus but as tired as he was, he wasn't ready for sleep. So he decided to get out his book light and read. He had yet to detail how he wanted to reveal his feelings to Josh. He read the book's ideas on wooing. There wasn't much that he hadn't heard of before; flowers or relevant gifts from a secret admirer, expensive dinners, making dinner for the person of interest. It almost seemed a waste of money until he read about the love poetry. This idea really intrigued him; the response idea intrigued him even more. It required the wooer to write something to the love interest and leave a blank piece of paper so the love interest could respond. _Will it work?_ Sam wondered. _Will he write something back, something that reveals his heart?_ Sam twirled his pencil between his fingers for a moment and then he let the emotions flow.

A few hours later, the page in front of him was finally filled with words. He smiled a little as his eyes reviewed them. No, they were more than words; they were pieces of his heart. He rewrote the words that hadn't been scratched out. He liked using the pencil, but didn't always like to erase. As he reread them, he felt that he wanted to change something. But if he did, his feelings wouldn't be fully revealed. Now that his feelings were written down, how was he going to get it to Josh, without being noticed?

Sam carefully and protectively hid his poetry in his briefcase so no one could see it. He didn't even want to chance it. He made himself comfortable by letting both seats back to stretch his legs a bit. As he did so, he could see Josh. The man was trying to get comfortable himself. The pillow just wouldn't fit the way he wanted it to under his neck. He laughed a little to himself, but he couldn't just let his future love (maybe) not be able to get any sleep.

"You might want to try letting both seats back and make a diagonal."Sam suggested. "Put your pillow under your ear."

"I can't. I have my stuff here and I can't stretch out my legs."

"Why don't you put it in the seat behind you, like I did my stuff?"Josh looked behind him. "You'll have more room." Josh shrugged his shoulders and moved his stuff to the seat behind him. He was finally able to stretch out his legs. He pulled the blanket up to his neck and the pillow seemed to fit well enough for him to begin to doze off.

Josh finally looked peaceful and so cute as he slept. Sam wanted to place a kiss on his forehead, just to wish him good night, but he decided not to. Not yet anyway. He watched Josh fall asleep and wondered how he found any peace with his mind going ninety to nothing running this campaign. Maybe writing the poetry and asking for a response would be too much. Maybe Josh wouldn't have enough time to write back. _Maybe this is a bad idea_, Sam thought. _Maybe I should abandon ship. _But something welled up in Sam's heart that wouldn't let him, something that wouldn't let him give up on his quest for what he needed to know. And it was then he figured out how he was going to give the poetry to Josh.

* * *

I'm posting two chapters at once! 8) Happy blessings for you!


	9. The words of woo

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole.

**A/N:** Sam's thought regular italics, Josh's bold print

Chapter 8: The Words of Woo

The buses rolled into town a little after four the next morning. Everyone received their room assignments and shuffled off to catch a few more hours of sleep before the business day officially began. Sam nervously walked to his room. This time he was sharing with Tate who was interning and assisting C.J. He hoped that he wouldn't have a repeat of the last time he roomed with Toby. Since he had the chance to write out his feelings, maybe be it wouldn't be so bad.

Josh started his day like he normally did. He showered, dressed and was on the search for coffee. He didn't get as much sleep as he wanted but what sleep he had gotten would have to suffice. There was a campaign to run. Josh had gotten his cup of coffee and sat at one of the tables in the dining room. He unzipped his backpack to take out his planner so he could go over the agenda for the meeting when a beige envelope fell out. He had confused look on his face as he picked it up. It didn't look like something that belonged to him. **Maybe I picked it up by accident**, he thought. He turned it over and saw his name. He didn't recognize the handwriting.

Inside the envelope was a piece of paper and another blank envelope with another piece of paper, as if it was for a reply to an invitation. The blank envelope held a blank sheet of paper with "1R" written in a circle in the top left. The other piece of paper had a "1" written in a circle but the page was nowhere near blank. It was filled with words that were beautifully and carefully scripted. This made the handwriting hard to recognize. Josh began to read the words.

_**The journey to love begins with one step, so now I am taking my first.**_

_**My feelings need releasing before my heart should burst.**_

_**I can truly say that what I am feeling I have never felt before,**_

_**And my hand is shaking as I my will compels me to open the door.**_

_**And there you stand,**_

_**Unknowingly holding my heart in your hand.**_

_**As I step closer, will you step too,**_

_**As I reveal my intentions to you?**_

_**My life and love I wish to share**_

_**With you, my dear Joshua so fine.**_

_**The right path has finally shown itself and now I am well aware**_

_**Of the fine line**_

_**Between us that will be crossed, because I dare.**_

_**My fear is at bay**_

_**As I venture to say**_

_**Or ask if you will meet me half way?**_

_**This journey of love with you I wish to take,**_

_**Longing for the beautiful life we could make.**_

_**When the time is right, I will reveal my name**_

_**Until then let Love lead us in her game.**_

_**Through my words you will discover**_

_**That I want to be more than just a lover.**_

_**My heart is already thine,**_

_**And I eagerly await when yours shall be mine.**_

Josh was shocked. He didn't know what to think. **Who could have sent this? A secret admirer? Doesn't this woman ****know**** how busy I am? I don't have time for this! I'm trying to get Bartlet elected as president.** Josh reread the poem. He was trying to find a clue, one little hint about who could have given this to him. He couldn't recognize anything. He was so engrossed in the poetry and trying to figure out its mystery sender that he didn't even hear Toby and Leo join him at the table.

"Is that an invitation?" Leo asked as he pulled out a chair. He motioned to the dining room attendant to bring him a much-needed cup of coffee when she was available.

"What?" A bewildered Josh looked up from the page.

"What are you reading?" Toby asked.

"Uh…someone left me some love poetry."

"Really? Who?"

"Secret admirer, I guess? I wish I knew Leo. There's no name and I don't recognize the handwriting."

"May I?" Toby asked. Josh handed him the poem and sighed.

"There's a 1 at the top of that page and an R1 at the top of this blank one. Doesn't make sense." Toby chuckled a little. Governor Bartlett joined the men at the table with the Secret Service not far away. The server in the dining room brought over a carafe and three coffee cups. The men thanked her as she filled their cups and refilled Josh's.

"You are not dealing with just any secret admirer Josh. Your admirer has very skilled handwriting and a way with words." He passed it to Leo so he could take look. "I detect extreme intelligence here too."

"So what's the blank page for?"

"I believe you are to write a response."Jed replied. "It's a woo thing."

"A woo thing, sir?" Josh asked. "What is that?" Leo passed the paper to Jed so he could read it.

"Wooing is the art of doing creative things to win the affections of the person desired. They have sent their intentions and want you to send a response. The letters or poetry becomes a story that can be told to children and grandchildren once the couple is on their way to happily ever after."

"A response? This woman wants me, _expects me_ to write her a poem in the middle of an election year. If she's on this campaign with us then she knows what my job is. I don't even know who it is or how she put the envelope in my planner."

"She went through a lot trouble. Maybe there are clues within the poem it self."Leo suggested. The governor handed it back to Josh. He looked at it and shook his head.

"Even if I did write a response, how am I supposed to give it back to her?"

"That's a very good question." Toby said.

"I wonder who it is. Who could she be to have such close access to my stuff?" Josh thought a moment. "Donna. I bet it's Donna."

"It's not Donna." Jed stated.

"You sure?" Leo asked. "I've seen how nervous she can be around him." Jed shook his head no.

"No? How do you know?" Josh asked.

"Any even better question to ask is what makes you think this was written by a woman?"Jed asked looking at Josh over the top of his glasses.

"Who else could have written it but a woman? I can't see any men traveling with us writing something like this. And to me."

"I have a few ideas." Leo said. "They, like you, keep their sexuality to themselves and so far no one's work as been affected."

"Wait…you?" Josh whispered. "You know? How do you know? About that?"

"Josh, Noah and I were real friends. He trusted me with his fears. When you first came out to him, he called me up. He thought he mind have done something wrong in raising you but after we talked, he had a better understanding. He couldn't even talk about it with your mom at first; they talked and worked on an understanding. Seeing the man you've become right this moment would have made your dad so proud of you."

"I appreciate that. Now if I could just figure out who it is."

"The writing was tastefully done. Maybe we should hire her as a writer." Toby teased. Jed looked at them and smiled.

"Maybe we already have." The rest of the gentlemen showed their confusion on their faces. "Read between the lines Josh and I think you'll discover who you should send the response to." At that moment, Mrs. Bartlet and their youngest daughter Zoe entered. Jed looked over and stood up with his coffee cup. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to have breakfast with two of my favorite ladies." Josh sighed and placed the poem back in the envelope. He'd have to figure it out later on in the day.

* * *

It had been a long day and Josh just wanted it to end and never comeback to his mind. He sat in a corner booth in the diner next door to the hotel. He was glad it was a 24-hour place. Finally a few moments of peace and quiet. And some comfort food. It wasn't his mother's pot roast and mashed potatoes but it brought a much-needed genuine smile to his face. It was late and he shouldn't have been eating that type of heavy food so late at night, but he didn't care- it was comforting. He took the envelope out of his planner and looked at the poetry again. A minute later C.J. joined him at the table.

"Why are you out so late?" Josh asked.

"I wanted coffee and dessert." The waitress came over and she ordered a peach cobbler a la mode and coffee. "Besides, I'm not ready for sleep yet. As tired as my body is, I just can't seem to turn my mind off. I'm sure there's a great thesis project in that statement somewhere."

"I think we're all getting that way."C.J. looked at Josh as he was reading the poem for probably the 10th time that day.

"Interesting read?" She asked. He shrugged.

"It is if you like being admired secretly by poetry."

"Well, there is an upside to this day after all."

"What are you talking about? It's after midnight."

"Ah, yes but until my head hits the pillow it's still today. May I?" He passed the paper to her.

"I'm supposed to write a response but I don't know who I'm writing to."

"It's very pretty." She made a strange face as the waitress brought her cobbler and coffee.

"Is that look for dessert or the poem?"

"The poem. Something seems…familiar about a line or two."

"Really? Familiar how, like plagiarized or something?"

"No, like something I'm heard recently."

"Is it the words, the style?"

"No, the cadence I think." She placed the paper on the table and turned it towards Josh. "Look here…this phrase…

_**As I step closer, will you step too,**_

_**As I reveal my intentions to you?**_

_**My life and love I wish to share**_

_**With you, my dear Joshua so fine.**_

_**The right path has finally shown itself and now I am well aware**_

_**Of the fine line**_

_**Between us that will be crossed, because I dare.**_

_**My fear is at bay**_

_**As I venture to say**_

_**Or ask if you will meet me half way?**_

The cadence seems familiar."

"So you have an idea who wrote it?"Josh asked

"Uh…maybe. I don't want to speculate just yet."

"C.J. come on. I need a little help here. I don't have a clue."

"I think there's a clue and I think it's in the cadence of that phrase."

"Even if I had the brain power to write a response, I still don't know who it is."C.J. thought a moment.

"When you write the response, put the envelope on our bulletin board. Besides their luggage, it's the only thing that everyone knows the location of. Whoever it is will definitely recognize the envelope and take it. Maybe you'll get lucky and see who it is."

"How will I address it? And what of someone takes it?"

"It won't get taken by the wrong person. Trust me. No one takes things for the board without knowing exactly what they are getting." Josh yawned and shook his head.

"I'm too tired to think about it now."

"Promise me you'll do that at least until you find out who it is?"

"Promise." Josh said as he took his check to the register.

* * *

Sam was coming back from the hotel gym. It was a sleepless night for him as well. He had started to pour his heart out to Josh and he wasn't sure how it was all going to pan out. He thought working out might tire him out a little. His heart nearly jumped out of his body when he heard Josh call out his name.

"Sam!" _Oh God_, Sam thought. _Of all the people, I had to run into-_

"Hey Josh. What are you still doing up?"

"I just left the diner next door. I could ask you the same thing." Josh replied. Sam blushed as he scrambled for an answer. He couldn't just say, _I've been fantasizing about you and needed to work out some frustration._ But instead, he said…

"Just working out."

"Not working out too hard are you? You look a little flushed."

"I'm fine Josh." _No, I'm not._

"Ok, I'm gonna go to bed." He started to walk away and Sam was almost glad to see him go (almost) when Josh turned around. "Hey Sam, can you look at something for me?"

"Sure." was Sam's reply before he saw what Josh wanted him to look at. Josh handed him the poem. His poem. His heart on display_. Ok, Sam. You don't do this often, but now's the time to play dumb._ "What's this?"

"Love poetry from a secret admirer."

"Someone admires you?"

"Doesn't everybody?" He replied laughing a little. "Yeah and secretly. Does any of it sound familiar to you? C.J. said the cadence around here" he said pointing to it "sounded familiar to her." _Oh my God, C.J. has read it!_

"Really?" Sam pretended to look at it. He knew it inside and out. He might be in trouble now. C.J. had a good ear for hearing things. "Just out of curiosity, who else has read it?"

"Uh…Toby, Leo, the governor."_Uh no_, he thought. _Well, at least I wrote it differently enough so Toby didn't recognize it._ "Bartlet thinks a man wrote it. I'm thinking a woman. Anything about it look familiar?" _Yes, everything._ Sam fought everything within him to push Josh into a corner and kiss his clueless, cute behind until he got the point. But instead:

"Nope. Sorry man. Maybe something will come to you."

"Yeah, maybe. Night Sam."

"Night Josh." They parted ways in the lobby.

Once he was in bed, Josh looked at the poem again. There had to be something he was missing. He thought about the phrase C.J. mentioned. **Where's the clue? All great writers leave a clue to who they are. So my admirer, who are you?** Josh read the phrase again and this time something stuck out.

_**The right path has finally shown itself and now I am well aware**_

_**Of the fine line**_

_**Between us that will be crossed, because I dare.**_

**What line will be crossed? There must be a boundary between us if there is a line to cross. And what is this right path? Was there a wrong path? Maybe this person has known me a long time for there to be a line. Well, there's Leo. Yeah, pretty sure he's not writing me poetry. Who else…and Sam. **

Was that the answer? Sam? It was starting to make sense. The fine line had to be their friendship. It had to be. Sam was daring to go from friends to lovers. And he was aware that there was a right path. **Maybe Lisa was the wrong one? **The risk for friends moving to lovers was a great one. What happens if they can't remain lovers? Will the friendship return or will all feelings be lost? **Now I see the dare. But he denied it. If he wrote it, why deny he'd seen it?** Then the governor's words came back to his mind. **Ah, the response. He needs to know if I feel the same way. He wants me to meet him halfway. Wow. Sam has feelings for me.** The revelation both humbled and shocked Josh. He didn't know what to think. Sam thought of him in a romantic way. **How did I manage that?** He grabbed his planner and began to write.

* * *

It was nearly lunchtime when Sam had a chance to go and look at the bulletin board. He grabbed the few notes he saw with his name on them and was about to leave when a parchment colored envelope caught his eye. There was no name on it but he knew it was the same brand that he'd bought. _How do I get it off the board without anyone realizing it? I'm sure Josh is watching or has someone watching. _Sam looked around; no one was near. He stood right in front of the envelope and removed the pushpin. He wished he had actually worn his jacket over to the board instead of it being on his arm. It would have been just perfect to slip it into his inside pocket. Instead, he slipped it into the back of his legal pad he was carrying with him. He was going to write on a few speeches while eating lunch. Instead of going to the diner next door like most of the campaigners, he decided to walk the opposite direction to the IHOP just a few blocks away.

As he waited for his soup and salad to arrive, he took a sip of his sweet tea. He nervously glanced around the restaurant; just make sure no one from the campaign was there. Satisfied that he was the only one, he took the envelope from his legal pad and opened it. Sam was pleased when he saw handwriting on the paper.

_**I am humbled and awed**_

_**That you want to love someone so flawed.**_

_**As per you request,**_

_**I am stepping up to the test**_

_**To meet you half way.**_

_**If you want to cross the line, then let's cross it.**_

_**Maybe we will find that we are the perfect fit.**_

_**I wonder how long we have been waiting to say**_

_**The true feelings of our hearts,**_

_**Longing for the day**_

_**That we can see ourselves a beautiful work of art.**_

_**Because we both dare,**_

_**What we will share**_

_**Will be most special and rare.**_

_**Your heart I gently hold,**_

_**A gift more precious than gold.**_

_**And as our feelings we pursue,**_

_**I feel my heart soon will belong to you.**_

Sam felt his eyes water a bit at the emotion of Josh's words. _He's going to meet me half way. He has feelings for me too!_

Josh walked back into the campaign's set up room and glanced at the bulletin board. His envelope was gone. He smiled at the fact that C.J.'s plan worked. The person, who was supposed to take it, actually took it. And he was feeling that person was Sam. Josh hoped the words conveyed what he was feeling. He hoped now that they were starting that neither of them got cold feet and decided to quit. Being in a love relationship with Sam would so different for Josh. Sam was just the opposite of all the men and women he dated, but he now seemed like the perfect fit. It was all starting to make sense.

That night as he drifted off to sleep Josh wondered how long it would be until he could read another part of Sam's soul. He wondered how long they could keep up the write and response? At some point, the letters and words would need to give way to conversations. He was looking forward to that. Little did he know that Sam was looking forward to it as well.


	10. After the woo

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole.

**A/N:** Sam's thought regular italics, Josh's bold print

Chapter 9: After the Woo

Bartlet Campaign Trail…

The next month on the campaign trail was busy and unpredictable. However, Josh and Sam found a way to keep up their poetic responses going. And although it was Sam's idea, he was anxious for Josh to make the next move. Josh hadn't gotten to that point yet. Sam was disappointed; maybe Josh's feelings weren't as far along as his. Maybe Josh was getting cold feet. His responses gave a different impression.

Josh on the other hand seemed frustrated as well. He hoped that his point had been made and that Sam would ask Josh to have a conversation. No such indication so far. What else could Josh do? He didn't feel that it was his duty to start the conversation, since Sam started it. **Maybe Sam's waiting for me to do it? I don't know. Getting this relationship started is different from any other I've been in. I feel a bit at a loss.**

Josh and Sam weren't the only ones feeling frustrated. Some very caring onlookers and hopeful well-wishers were ready to wish them well as a couple. How could they be prompted? What could be done to jumpstart them? Three people had a plan, a foolproof plan to get them together and talking. Executing it wouldn't be a problem once everything was set up. Getting them to talk once together, that was the unknown factor.

The campaigners riding the buses had gathered everything and placed them back on the bus ready to head to the next town. Everyone boarded and the buses were heading out. Sam was in his own thoughts as the chatter of his fellow passengers filled in the background. He didn't feel like writing. Josh as usual was conducting campaign business. _I wonder if he knows how handsome his is when he's talking._ He loved watching Josh. Most people probably found his wild, manic, fidgety demeanor exhausting, but Sam loved it. It was Josh. It was a part of what made them friends. Sam was the cool, calm collected one and Josh was, well, just Josh. The ultimate Yen and Yang. As friends, they complimented each other perfectly. There was no telling how complementary they could be as a couple.

The campaign caravan made it to the next town later than expected. Everyone wanted to eat and get to their rooms. Sam was rooming with Tate again. He didn't mind it. Better him than Toby. Once in the room he plopped down on the bed. Tate just dropped his suitcase on the other bed and he like so many others, was on the search for food. Sam probably should have joined him, but he didn't.

The room was silent. He was alone with his thoughts. That was until he heard a knock on the door. Before he could get to the door to open it, someone slid a piece of paper underneath it. Sam clearly saw his name, but didn't recognize the handwriting. He quickly opened to door to an empty hallway. Making sure he had his key, he closed the door, hoping it would give the delivery person a sense of security to come out of hiding so he could catch them red handed. It was a poor plan. The person was long gone.

As he turned back to the room, he opened the paper. It was in the form of a meeting memo. Unbeknownst to Sam it was an invitation.

**RE: ****Staff Meeting**

**LOCATION: ****Conference Room 3**

**TIME: ****10 p.m.**

Sam had two hours to wait for this meeting. Might as well, grab something to eat. He went back in the room to get his jacket and headed downstairs to find a decent place to eat.

Josh was sitting at the table in his room making notes for the next day. His stomach had been growling for the better part of thirty minutes or so. It had also decided that it had gone long enough without food and sent up a dry burp in protest.

"Ok, ok. I'll get something to eat." He began putting his papers away when he heard a knock at his door. As he got up to open it, a piece of paper found its way into the room under the door. Josh quickly opened the door to find the same empty hall Sam found. Not a soul was lurking around. **Strange**, he thought. He opened the folded piece of paper and found the memo for the staff meeting at 10 p.m. **Who's calling a meeting besides me? Maybe CJ? But she would have said so in the memo. Maybe it's Leo?** It puzzled Josh, but he grabbed his coat and headed out for dinner anyway.

* * *

It was twenty minutes to ten and Sam was getting items ready for this impromptu staff meeting. He was wondering why Tate wasn't doing the same thing. So he asked him.

"I don't know of a staff meeting tonight, Mr. Seaborn."

"No one told you about a meeting at 10 p.m. tonight?"

"No sir." He responded. "Maybe it's a senior meeting. I'm just an intern."

"Hmmm, you're probably right. Oh well, I hope whoever called this meeting will not keep us long. My brain is shot."

"I hear ya. I'll probably be asleep when you come back in."

"I promise to be as quiet as I can."

"Thanks." Sam left the room in search of Conference Room 3.

As he stepped on the Conference Room floor, he could see the Secret Service at all the protective points. _Maybe the Governor called the meeting_, Sam thought. It would make sense why the Secret Service was on this floor, and why there were so many of them. He approached the door, the agent nodded at him.

"Good evening Mr. Seaborn."

"Good evening. I'm supposed to be in a meeting at 10."

"Yes sir." He opened the door for Sam. "Enjoy your meeting Sir."

"Uh, thanks. I guess."

Sam walked into the large conference room. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. The table was surrounded by chairs. There was a screen set up for presentations. There was a table set up for food. Everything looked normal, except for the fact that he was the only one there. Where was everyone else? A few moments later Josh entered the room. He looked confused at the emptiness as well.

"So why'd you call a meeting so late?" Sam asked.

"Wasn't me. I got a note under the door."

"Me too. There was a knock and the paper flew in the room."

"Same thing. So you don't know who called this meeting?"

"Nope. I thought it might be CJ but Tate says no."

"The Governor then?" Josh asked.

"That's what I thought when I saw all the agents."

"Guess we'll wait a little bit and see."

An uncomfortable silence fell between the two best friends. Here they were, two of the biggest wordsmiths on the campaign trail and neither of them could think of anything to say. Sam sat on the table. Josh paced with his hands in his pockets. Neither of them was ever good a small talk.

"Toby seems pleased with your speeches lately."  
"Really?"

"Yeah."

"He said so?"

"Yeah. Why?" Sam scoffed at the answer.

"He never says so."

"That's Toby for you. As long as he's complaining, you have nothing to worry about. The minute he goes speechless, worry."

"Oh." Sam looked down at his dangling feet as he answered. _Why is this so hard? It's just Josh_. He thought. Then he took a deep breath, _Here goes_. "So, have you read anything of mine lately?" Josh looked up in surprise.

"Hmmm? Oh yeah, I have actually."

"Anything of interest?"

"Yeah, actually." **Ok, Josh, get ready.**

"What was it?" Sam asked.

"What was what?"

"What did you read?" At that moment, Sam's heart began beating faster.

"Oh…uh…" Josh looked at Sam's beautiful blue eyes and got lost. He couldn't say what he was thinking, not yet anyway. "Uh, have you ever read any Browning?" Sam tilted his head in confusion.

"Robert or Elizabeth?"

"Elizabeth."

"Sure. Who hasn't? Why?"Josh shrugged.

"Just wondering." He stopped pacing. "You have a favorite?" Sam thought a moment.

"I guess."

"Which one?"

"Do you really need to know?" Sam asked.

"Just wondering. Making small talk while we wait."

"You know we don't do small talk Josh. And anyway I thought you were going to talk about my stuff you read."

"Were you going to tell me which one?"Sam sighed. Josh wasn't going to let this go.

"I like 'How Do I Love Thee'."

"Really? That's so…common."

"Common? What makes you say that?"

"Come on Sam, every lovesick teenage boy tried that out on the girl they thought was the girl of their dreams."

"I didn't."

"Never?" Sam shook his head. "Not even once? Why the hell not?"

"It wouldn't have worked."

"Ah, never worked for me either." Josh turned away from Sam and paced some more.

"You know. I'm beginning to think no one else is coming."  
"Me too. What should we do?" Josh said.

"I wanna know who sent us up here. There's no need for all of those agents."

"True." Josh turned to look at Sam.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just…"

"Just what?"

"Do you remember the poem?"

"You mean Elizabeth Barrett Browning?" Josh nodded. "Yes." Josh remained quiet. "Would you like me to say it?"

"Sure, if you want." Sam sighed and began reciting with passion:

"_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._

_I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_

_My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight_

_For the ends of Being and ideal Grace."_

Josh took a few steps closer to the table. Sam's heart began beating faster as Josh spoke:

"_I love thee to the level of everyday's_

_Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light._

_I love thee freely, as men strive for Right._

_I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise."_

Josh stepped closer still, standing right in front of Sam, and placed his hands on the table, one on each side of Sam. Sam felt his face getting warmer as Josh's brown eyes seemed to bore into his soul like never before. Blushing, he recited the last stanza of the poem with Josh joining in:

"_I love thee with the passion put to use_

_In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith._

_I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_

_With my lost saints- I love thee with the breadth,_

_Smiles, tears, of all my life!- and, if God choose,_

_I shall but love thee better after death."_

"So those are the ways that you love me?" Josh asked.

"Huh?"Sam seemed to lose his voice.

"The poem. You love me that many different ways?"

"Uh, no. It's more than that." Sam whispered.

"How many?"

"Too many to count."

"I thought so." He whispered back as he leaned in closer to Sam, planting a chaste kiss to his lips.

A shocked Sam leaned back as if he was afraid of Josh, but when he came to his senses and remember this is what he wanted, what he hoped for, he leaned forward and kissed Josh back. Josh stopped the kiss but Sam wasn't ready to. He leaned forward to capture Josh's lips again, placing his hands on either side of Josh's face. Josh could feel Sam's tongue stroking his bottom lip, seeking entrance. As his head tilted, Sam found the entrance and learned the sweetness of Josh's kiss. A soft whimper was shared between the two and Josh's hands gathered about Sam's waist, pulling him off the table and closer to him.

Sam let his hands flow from Josh's face to his back, holding on for surety as they kissed. Josh pulled back for a second to look into those mesmerizing blue eyes. Those eyes were pleading for more kisses just as his lips were. Josh couldn't help but to oblige. The kiss was gentle, full of desire and understanding. Neither wanted to stop but air forced them apart. They rested forehead to forehead, panting trying to catch their breath. Sam closed his eyes and smiled as he still felt the remnants of Josh's lips.

"Mmmm…." Sam hummed softly as tears filled his eyes.

"I know. Seems like we've been waiting forever to feel that."

"I don't want to stop feeling it." He said as the tears began to fall. Sam reached forward for more kisses and Josh continued them. Minutes, later they broke apart, Josh wiping a few of Sam's tears away.

"Why are you crying?"

"Relief. I didn't really know how you would react. I didn't know if you would feel the same way. I was so scared to put my heart on the line…I started to chicken out."

"I'm so glad you didn't. I never knew I could feel this way about a man; I never knew I could feel this way about you. Maybe I had other motives when I came to New York. Maybe I just wanted you near me and didn't really know how to say it. Maybe I…"

"Maybe, it's just the right time."

"Maybe." Josh said as Sam kissed him again.

"So what do we do now?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. What do you think we should do?"

"I think we should be together. I think we should be boyfriends."

"Boyfriends. I like the sound of that."

"We'll have to be careful so it won't ruin the campaign. If what we wrote in our poems is true, then we know we love each other. I don't think that we need to go on dates to prove that."  
"I don't know if we can sneak out to go on a date."  
"We'll have to let the Governor know…" Sam stated. Josh paused and thought.

"I think he knows."

"How do you figure that?"

"The agents. He sent them here to protect us. He sent us here. He made sure we had some quiet time to talk. We've been telling each other how we feel, but we haven't shared our feelings."Josh said.

"We haven't said what we really want to hear, need to hear from each other." Sam said, as he finally understood. This is what they talked about in their poems. Now it was a reality. This time the tears welled up in Josh's eyes and gently fell as he said what was on his heart.

"Sam, I love you."

"I love you too." Sam pulled Josh into his arms and they embraced.

After a few minutes, Sam suggested that they should leave each other and go to bed before people got suspicious and wondered where they were. Neither of them wanted to leave, not after they just discovered this wonderful feeling of love between them. But they needed rest and sleep. After kissing again (well, a few more times), they left the conference room. As they rode the elevator down to their floor, they smiled at each other the whole time. Before stepping off they whispered, "pleasant dreams boyfriend" to each other. Sam went left to his room; Josh to the right.

As each man prepared for bed, they felt full of love. All Sam could think about was that his new boyfriend was sleeping about twelve rooms away from him. Josh couldn't stop smiling. He literally felt all warm and fuzzy. Neither of them knew what the future would hold for them, but as long as they were together, nothing else would really matter.

* * *

The next morning the Governor saw Josh headed to the dining room for breakfast and decided to walk with him.

"Josh."

"Good morning, sir."

"You seem to be brighter than usual today. Everything's good?"

"Very good sir. Finally had a decent night's sleep."

"And your meeting last night?"

"Last night? Oh it was fine."

"So you and Sam worked everything out?"

"Yes sir. About that, Sam and I ne-"

"Don't need to talk to me. I know and I don't have to openly disclose it. It's not necessary to the campaign. Now if someone asks, I can give general answers. If they ask specifics, I don't have to answer."

"Thank you sir. We weren't quite sure how to approach it."

"Just don't let it affect your jobs."

"It won't; I promise."Josh replied. Bartlet patted him on the back and he headed to the buffet table. **So the Governor really did set that up. Have to tell Sam I was right.**

A few hours later Sam ran into Leo. They were in a room filled with people and Leo pulled him over to the side with a hand gesture.

"I heard there was a staff meeting last night. I couldn't be there. Things went well I assume?" Sam was shocked to think that Leo would care about what had been going on between him and Josh.

"Yes they did. Thanks for asking."

"Just concerned. Wanted to make sure that all is well with the two people who are going to get Jed Bartlet elected."

"I think there are more people to credit than just us."

"Josh's ideas and your words are quite a complementary combination." Sam smiled at the thought.

"Thank you sir. I really do try. Toby doesn't see it that way all the time."

"You do know the best way to sharpen steel is against another piece of steel?" Sam nodded that he understood. "Don't worry about Toby. CJ says when he has nothing to say, be concerned. You're doing a great job and you are doing excellent by Josh. Noah would be happy knowing that you are there for Josh and that you two ended up together."

"He thought we would?"

"He mentioned it a long time ago, shortly after you both graduated. He had hoped you two would be a couple then. However, he realized that you would have to find your way to each other. He'd be glad to know that it finally happened."

"Thanks for your support Leo. We will have to talk to the Governor about it just in case a reporter asks."

"Let me take care of that, ok?"

"Sure thing." Leo gave him a reassuring smile and walked back over to the group of people.

_I'll have to tell Josh that it was Leo who put us in that room. Probably as a favor to Noah. Wow Leo. Who knew? _

Later that evening, while everyone was heading out for the dinner break, Sam snuck up to Josh's room and knocked on the door. When Josh opened it, he was happy to know that Josh was alone.

"Hey." Sam said.

"Hey yourself." Josh replied by pulling Sam into the room and straight into his arms for a kiss. They both seemed to giggle like teenage boys doing something wrong. "I've been waiting all day to do that."

"Me too." Sam said and then kissed him again. "You were wrong about who set us up last night. It was Leo."

"Leo?"

"Yeah, he did it as a favor to your dad."

"He did not."

"I'm serious Josh. He told me so earlier."

"Bartlet asked me about the meeting last night. He had to have set it up."

"Maybe they both did? Or one did and told the other?" They both shrugged.

"I don't know." Josh said. "It's weird though. Bartlet said not to worry about us being together."

"So did Leo."Sam said.

"Seems like they have us covered. I'm guessing CJ knows too."

"Probably so."Sam smiled at the fact that they were still holding hands. Josh noticed too and kissed Sam's hand. "We should get some dinner."

"You don't think anyone will think it's weird that we're having dinner together?"

"No, we've eaten together before."

"But you don't think anyone will notice that we look different?"

"Probably not. I think we just look different to us." Josh shrugged again and grabbed his coat. They kissed again before he opened the door. They forced themselves not to hold hands on the way to the elevator. Once in the lobby they ran into Dr. Bartlet.

"Evening ma'am." Sam said.

"Good evening gentleman." She paused before continuing on her way. "Are you two alright?"

"Yes, ma'am. Just a little hungry. We're finally heading to dinner. Why?" She tilted her head as she looked at them.

"You look different today. Not sure what it is." She stepped a little closer. "You didn't stay up too long after your meeting did you?"

"You know?" Sam asked.

"How?" Josh asked.

"Oh come now. Jed and Leo may be older friends than Paul and Silas but do you _really think_ that they were smart enough to pull _that_ off?" They looked at each other. "Let me answer that for you; no they aren't. Enjoy your dinner." She continued on her way, leaving them speechless.

"Well…didn't expect that." Sam said.

"Neither did I."


	11. Chocolate

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

2. I don't own any name brand products mentioned.

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole.

**A/N:** SO, I'm supposed to be working on updates to my CSI and CSI: Miami stories. But what am I doing? Playing around with Josh and Sam. Lol

This chapter is dedicated to my faithful reader and reviewer **sassie69**. There are many people reading Josh and Sam's journey but not many reviewers. Thank for the encouragement. Sam's thoughts are in _italics_ and Josh's **bold print**. After this chapter, there are two more chapters until the 12th Anniversary celebration weekend. Hang in there the next one's gonna be a shocker! This chapter is…a little… well, just look at the title and guess.

Chapter 10: Chocolate

Santa Ana, CA

Sam left the office much later than he had anticipated today. He stood inside the Wilsons Leather Outlet store a little before closing and was overwhelmed. He never really understood how the smell of leather turned so many people on, until now. It was quite intoxicating. It was a very manly and sexy scent. It brought to Sam's mind strength, durability, and smoothness. He glanced about the store wondering what Josh would like. _A leather coat?_ It would look nice, but not really practical in D.C. weather. And knowing, Josh he would forget to put the leather protector on it and ruin it. Or not wear it at all.

Sam turned to his left and saw something that made his groin twitch. A pair of leather chaps. He laughed to himself as he remembered Josh's Halloween costume from years back. They managed an invite to a highly secret and private gay Halloween party. If the term GLBT had been popular then, that would have been the perfect word to describe it. Josh thought it would be "cute" to come dressed as a cowboy. It turned out that he wasn't the only one who thought being one of the Village People was a good idea. Sam laughed at Josh the whole night. Josh is always one for a good joke; surprisingly this one hurt his feelings. Therefore, Sam made it up to him by wearing the chaps when they got home. _Maybe I should get him a pair. It'd make him laugh. And they __are__ on sale._ He looked through the racks and found a pair for each of them.

Sam was still on the hunt for the perfect gift for his love. Then he remembered Josh's beat up backpack and headed towards the leather bags. He needed something classy and businesslike. Something that was easy for Josh to take care of. Not that he wouldn't, it's just sometimes he gets too busy to remember things like that. _What kind of bag should I get him? _Sam looked at the briefcase bags. They weren't quite Josh. He would need something with enough room for his laptop and accessories plus his millions of notes and folders he had to carry with him. _Don't forget the iPad._ He needed something comfortable, easy to carry, extra pockets for things.

"Can I help you sir?" An associate asked. "Wait, aren't you Congressman Seaborn?"

"Yes, I am."

"Wow. Never met anyone I voted for before."

"Thanks. I appreciate your vote."

"What can I help you find?"

"Yes. I need a bag to replace my boy-…a… friend's tattered backpack and I'm not sure what to get him."

"Did you see anything you liked?"

"I like the briefcases, but he would hate it."

"The Messenger Bags are popular."

"How much room do they have? He usually has a laptop, iPad, folders, and binders. All kinds of stuff." The associate began looking through the bags.

"Here it is. This one is the largest. I bought it for my boyfriend too. He's a law student."

"Excuse me?" Sam asked. "What makes you think-"

"The chaps. Most of the ones we sell, are bought by gay men. The bikers go to the bike shop." The associate whispered. Sam looked down at the pants draped across his arm. He felt his cheeks turn pink. "Don't be embarrassed. I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me."

"I appreciate that as well. We aren't out politically."

"I understand. My boyfriend is interning at a **very** conservative law firm and he has to hide everything every day." They walked over to the register and the associate grabbed a couple bottles of the leather protector.

"How much longer does he have?"

"He graduates this spring and hoping to take the California Bar this summer." Sam placed the items on the counter and reached for his wallet. He handed the salesman his credit card and his business card.

"What's his name?"

"Lance Galloway."

"You tell Lance to call me and I can help him study for the bar. And if he wants to leave the conservative law firm, he can come and work for me. I'm always looking for new talent and ideas to help my district."

"Oh my god. He'd love to leave that firm. I will make sure I tell him."

"Good."

"Do you want these gift wrapped?"

"If you could put these pants and the bag in a box that would be great."

"Yes sir." Sam watched as the young man placed the bag on top of tissue paper and then layered more paper between the bag and the pants.

"Darn it I just thought of something I needed to put in the box. Can you make sure the protector doesn't open or spray anything?"

"It won't. It has a protective seal and you can't use it until you break it."

"Good." He was just finishing when Sam's phone rang. "Hello?"

"Well, love of my life what are you up to?"

"Hi babe. I am actually buying your anniversary gift."

"Oh, do I get a clue?"

"No. I didn't get a clue so you don't get a clue. By the way, the gift arrived in the mail yesterday. And no, I didn't open it. I did try shaking it a little."

"Didn't help, did it?"

"Not one bit." Sam said laughing

"Good. What are you doing now?"

"I'm gonna go home. I'm tired."

"Call me when you get there?"

"Of course. Love you."

"Love you too." And he hung up.

"I don't mean to pry, how long have you two been together?"

"Twelve years this weekend. Most of it long distance. He lives in D.C. We see each other every two or three months."

"Wow, I don't know if I could be away from Lance that long."

"Sad to say, but we're used to it. Working on a way to close the distance between us. It's been worth it though. I wouldn't want to be in love with anyone else."

"Congratulations Mr. Seaborn. I hope Lance and I can have an anniversary like that one day."

"I think you will. I can tell you're already a great supporter."

"I try." He handed Sam his purchases. "Thanks for shopping with us. Here's my card if you need anything else."

"Thanks, Marc. Pleasure doing business with you. And thanks for keeping my secret."

"No problem."

Sam left the store pleased with his purchases. He had two stops to make before heading home- The Fantasy Warehouse and Walgreens. He and Josh didn't like to buy their supplies from the pharmacy because all the fun stuff was in the sex shops. They had the flavored lube, edible underwear, toys, and movies. A particular lube that Sam liked was only available at The Fantasy Warehouse. They liked the condoms there as well. The ones that glow in the dark were hilarious to use when a little drunk. _Maybe the leather handcuffs are in stock this time. That would be nice to add to the box._ The other stop? Walgreens. They had a sale on candy. And there was a huge sale on one particular kind that Josh always had a craving for and could never do without.

* * *

Bartlet Campaign Trail…

"Unbelievable!" Toby exclaimed. "Where is Shelia?" He was walking through the lobby of the hotel.

"Problem Toby?"Leo asked.

"Yes. I'm rooming with Sam. Again. I specifically asked _not_ to be put in a room with him again. This is ridiculous!"

"It's just for two nights. You'll be fine."

"Fine? You sit in the room with him and listen to his constant yapping and weird dreams."

"It can't be that bad Toby." Toby rolled his eyes at Leo. Just then, Josh was walking by heading to the vending machine.

"Yes it can." He saw Josh. "You know who can fix this?"

"Shelia?"

"No, Josh can." Toby followed him to the vending machine and Leo followed him. Josh was standing in front the machine with an excited look on his face.

"Yes! Finally a machine with my favorite candy."

"What are you so excited about?" Toby asked in the grumpiest of voices.

"I've been to eight vending machines in this hotel and this is the first one with plain chocolate bars. All I need is a Hershey bar." He put his money in and quickly bought three. "What are you two up to?"

"Toby's complaining about his roommate again."

"You rooming with Sam again? I thought Shelia got the memo. Chocolate?" He asked offering them a piece.

"No thanks. She says this time was unavoidable. I don't believe her. I believe she hates me and is trying to punish me."

"Leo?" Leo shook his head no. "Maybe she's trying to punish Sam."Josh said jokingly.

"It doesn't matter who she's trying to punish, you can fix it."

"Me fix it? How?" Josh said breaking off a piece of the candy bar.

"He's your man. Can't you do something?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I just know I don't want to hear his yapping and weird dreams tonight."

"Oh, he just needs someone to listen to him."

"Josh, I've been listening to Sam all day. I DO NOT want to listen to him all night." Josh thought.

"Yea, I can listen to him. About forty-five minutes is all he needs. He'll probably spend most of that time complaining about you."

"Fine, whatever he needs to do to keep quiet, let him do." Josh shrugged.

"OK. Room number?"

"Four-thirty six." He nodded and left for the elevator, eating his chocolate.

** What can I do to make Sam be quiet? Maybe from now on I should request Sam as a roommate. Keep the ruckus down. **Josh arrived at the door and knocked. Sam answered with a weary and frustrated look on his face.

"Hey babe, what's with the face?" He asked as he entered.

"Rooming with Toby is what's with the face. Who's Shelia trying to punish, me or Toby?"

"I don't know. He's asking the same thing. At any rate, I'm here to help you wind down."

"Wind down? How?"

"We can start with this." He leaned forward and kissed Sam's lips. Sam placed his hands inside of Josh's and pulled him closer. Josh felt Sam immediately relax and join him in the kiss.

"Mmmm…you taste like chocolate."

"Yes, I do. It's great stress relief. Why do you think women eat so much of it? Here," he broke off a piece and fed it to Sam, "try some. Don't chew it; just let it melt on your tongue. It's best that way." Sam let the rich sweetness melt on his tongue. "Just close your eyes and feel the calm."

"I never really thought to do that before. So this is how you relax?"

"Sometimes. A simple relaxation, yes, but relaxing nonetheless. So what about you? Tell me about your day darling."

"You really don't want to know."

"Sure I do. Sam I'm here to help you wind down, remember? Talking about your day will help. And don't forget, I have chocolate."

"And Hershey is your weapon of choice?"

"Always. It's the best there is." Josh broke off another piece for himself and for Sam. "Tell me about your day."

"Well, this morning…" Josh leaned against the table and listened to Sam talk about his day. He rather tuned him out for a few minutes, which was unusual for Josh; he loved to hear Sam's voice. But tonight was all about him. **He's so gorgeous all frustrated and stuff.** Sam was being animated about his day, as Josh knew he would. Sam's energy was wonderful. He liked to pace the floor, an old habit from being in the courtroom. Sam didn't look relaxed yet. **Let's make him more comfortable.** So Josh untucked Sam's shirt from his pants.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh don't mind me; keep going." Sam gave him a strange look and kept going. **Sam needs to unbutton his shirt.** So Josh did. And since Sam's neck was now exposed, Josh couldn't help but place a kiss there. He gently kissed his way to the spot where the knot of his necktie would have been and gently sucked it.

"Josh….what are y…you…doing?" He felt Sam relax a little into his arms as he continued the kisses.

"Listening to you talk about your day."

"Have you actually….heard…mmmm….anything I said…oh god don't stop…"

"Of course. And you're doing a very good job of winding down." Their lips meet in passionate kisses and Josh managed to slip his hands inside Sam's shirt, making gentle, calming circles on his back. Sam leaned into his boyfriend's embrace. "Tell me how I can help you relax even more."

"I don't know. I'm feeling pretty good right now."

"Keep talking." Josh grabbed the now half-eaten chocolate bar from the table breaking off another piece for Sam.

"How can I keep talking if you're constantly putting chocolate in my mouth?"

"You'll figure it out." Josh said. As Sam continued, so did Josh with the kisses. Sam didn't even realize that Josh had pinned him against the wall, kisses still flowing. Sam was now stumbling over his words from the sensations he was feeling due to Josh assisted by the chocolate.

Josh let his hand move down Sam's body to between his legs, lovingly caressing his groin area. Sam whimpered and felt his knees begin to buckle. He felt himself begin to slide down the wall. Josh somehow managed to get him to keep standing. Sam looked down and Josh was kneeling in front of him, loosening his belt and unzipping his pants.

"Josh…what are you doing?"

"I'm listening to you baby. Keep talking."

"I can't…you're about to …"

"You can prove the theorists wrong."

"What theorists?" Sam asked.

"The ones that say a man can't think with both heads at the same time."

"But we can't. I know _I _can't."

"Let's see if you can. Keep talking." Sam started again as he felt Josh's lips kissing his quickly growing erection. He was doing fine until Josh's tongue rimmed the head of his penis. Sam lost it when he felt those lips enclose the head and Josh sucked it like a lollipop.

"Jos…Josh…"Sam whispered.

His hands slipped into Josh's hair as he felt his penis being taken completely into Josh's mouth. His eyes rolled in the back of his head as he struggled to keep standing. Josh continued to suck and lick Sam, enjoying the sweet sounds that he was making, with said sounds being the only thing sweeter than chocolate. Josh loved what he was doing to Sam. He loved the taste of Sam in his mouth. Josh swirled his tongue all around, playing with Sam's balls rendering him nearly speechless.

"Mmmm…" Josh paused for a moment and Sam groaned with disappointment. "Josh?"

"You stopped talking."

"You know I can't concentrate when you do this. Please don't stop." Sam thrust his hips towards Josh's face and Josh couldn't help but smile. He was all too happy to oblige. He began to suck Sam faster and faster. After a few minutes, there was nothing but breathless gasps from Sam and deep guttural moans. His grip on Josh's hair became tighter and tighter as thrust his hips more and more. There was one particular sound that Josh was waiting to hear. It was a combination of a whimper and a sigh. He learned that it was the sound Sam made right before he came; at least during oral sex. A few minutes later, Sam was coming hard and fast. It definitely caught Josh by surprise, but he cherished the fact that he could bring Sam so much pleasure.

As Sam leaned against the wall, he tried to still his heartbeat. Josh tenderly licked the remains of Sam's release. He hummed in approval of Josh's aftercare. Josh stood to face him and Sam had the sweetest, satisfied smile plastered on his lips.

"Now that's what I love to see." Josh whispered as he kissed Sam.

"What's that?"

"A relaxed lover." Sam chuckled.

"Did you really pay attention to anything I said?"

"Some. But mostly so I could figure out how to help you relax."

"Mission accomplished." Sam said.

"I know. And now you should be ready for bed. Where are your pjs?"

"Over here." Sam walked over to his suitcase and grabbed his clothes and changed. He yawned a bit.

"And everyone thinks you're the one with the talented tongue. Damn, I'm good at what I do."

"Sooo, what are you going to do tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Josh, I know how aroused you get when we're intimate."

"Oh don't worry about me baby. I've had some chocolate and after a shower I'll be on could nine. However if you find that you can't stay asleep, or feel lonely, I'm in room four hundred. And I'm by myself."

"I should have just snuck down to your room and let Toby have this one all to himself."

"It crossed my mind but I thought I'd try this first. And it looks like it worked."

"Thank you for 'listening' to me Josh."

"It was nothing baby. And don't worry about the reporters. The facts will come out right in the end."

"HA! You really were listening."

"I told you I was. Come on, bedtime." He swatted Sam's behind as he crawled into bed. Josh leaned down and kissed Sam good night.

"See you in the morning." Sam whispered.

"I'll let myself out."

As Josh was heading out towards his room, he bumped into Leo, Toby and CJ. He offered her some chocolate.

"Well?" Toby asked.

"Well, what?"

"Did you get him to wind down?"

"Sam? Yeah, he's already asleep. You sure you don't want any chocolate?"

"No, thanks." CJ and Leo replied.

"What did you do?" Toby asked.

"I told you, he just needed someone to listen to him. And he didn't complain about you as much as I thought he would."

"Thank you. I owe you one."

"Don't worry about it. I didn't mind listening." Josh walked off to his room.


	12. The Privacy Factor

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

2. I don't own any name brand products mentioned.

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole.

**A/N:** I don't usually write filler chapters (this one will be short), but this is filler will actually extend my chapters 'til the anniversary weekend to 3. It's all good though; I'm gonna try to see if I can write all three and post them all at once. Now there's a challenge for me. Remember, feedback is good. I'm not one of those writers who will stop the story if there aren't many readers or comments. I need ya'll to read what I see in my head lol.

If you haven't checked out my profile yet, I've added my fanfiction profile to Twitter. I'm (at symbol) **sissouthernink**. Couldn't put the numbers on. If you're on Twitter, let me know. I'll follow back.

Chapter 11: The Privacy Factor

Bartlet Campaign Trail….

Jed Bartlet thought it would be a great idea to give the campaign buses a rest and take the campaigners, family and staff on a cross-country train ride. He thought it would a great way to meet potential voters and to see the country. The fact that their buses had been breaking down a lot helped seemed to help that decision along. Therefore, they all set out to actually leave from New York's Penn Station and head west.

Sam dreaded it a little bit. He hadn't seen Lisa in a while and she didn't know how much his life had changed. The train was leaving that night so he asked if she would meet him for lunch. The restaurant had a decent crowd, but he managed to get them a table far away from the crowd. They needed privacy. He needed to tell her about Josh. When he saw her approach the table, he stood and they managed to hug each other civilly.

"You look well." Sam said.

"I wish I could say the same for you." Lisa replied as they sat. "You look worn out."

"I am. I'm writing a lot, meeting a lot of people, traveling a lot, learning a lot about the office of the President. It's like History 101 all over again times a million. The one thing I'm not doing a lot of is sleeping."

"How many hours do you average?"

"Maybe forty a week?"

"And you're writing speeches like that?"

"Don't have a choice."

"You do have a choice; you can leave and come back to New York. We can pick up where we left off. Daddy hasn't cancelled anything yet, just waiting until all this is over and you come to your senses."

"Well, I want to see how far this will go."

"Speaking of the campaign, how's Josh? I didn't see him."

"Uh…probably getting last minute stuff together."

"He still with that girl? Oh what's her name…Brandy? Bianca?"

"Belinda…"

"That's it, Belinda. Are they still together?"

"Not they're not. They've been broken up for a while."

"Oh, so who is he dating now? Should I try to hook up a friend for him so he won't be alone at the wedding?"

"About that…" Sam hesitated.

"Our wedding? What about it?"

"First, Josh already has a friend that he's hooked up with and I'm thinking that there won't be a wedding." _There it's out; I said it now for the aftermath._

"Well, we decided that when all this is done we'll wed. So if it's not this year or even next year, it's ok." She said taking a sip of her water. "And what friend is Josh with?" Sam took a deep breath.

"Josh is with me." He replied and held his breath, as he looked her in the eyes. Lisa looked at Sam, smiled and laughed.

"Yeah right. That's hi-lari-ous! You two have been friends for years and nothing has ever-" She paused when she saw the serious look on Sam's face. "Wait this _is_ a joke you two are pulling on me right?" Sam sat silently. "**Right?**"

"No, it's not a joke. This is for real."

"I…this makes no…I don't…Sam…"Lisa stammered to find the words to say.

"Lisa you know for a long time that we haven't been who we were when we first fell in love. Things have changed between us and between Josh and me. I'm in love with him and I think I have been for a while."

"What? Sam did he pressure you into thinking you have feelings for him like he pressured you to leave New York?"

"No, I pursued him first. And the decision to leave New York was mine alone." Lisa had blank stare on her face.

"You pursued_ him_? You came onto _him_?" Sam nodded. "I don't believe it." She crossed her arms in front of her. "I just don't. You wouldn't do this. _You_ wouldn't."

"Lisa, we haven't been happy for a long time and-"

"And now you are?"

"I believe so, yes."

"With Josh?"

"Yeah, with Josh." She ran her hands through her hair in frustration.

"This makes no sense Sam!"

"Well, you knew I was bisexual when we met. You knew that if we broke up that me going back to a man was always a possibility."

"SO did you think about him while we were intimate? Were you secretly wishing that it was him instead of me?"

"No! Lisa why would you think that? When we were making love, I was there in the moment with you. Not thinking about Josh."

"You're gonna have a hard time proving that to me. So when did this revelation come about?"

"It took me hearing things second hand from other people to see what they saw. People who have never seen us before thought that we were a couple. That we were deeply in love."

"And you just had to prove them right?" She replied, the bitterness coming out in her voice along with tears from her eyes.

"I don't expect you to understand it right now. Josh has been in love with me for a while but kept his feelings because he knew we were getting married. Lisa he was going to let us get married and totally miss this opportunity."

"What so you two could have a mid-life crisis and have had an affair five years from now at my expense?"

"It's not like that Li-"

"And what about me? With the broken heart and the ring?"

"I've had a broken heart for a while. And you can do what you want with the ring. I can't ask for it back."

"Oh my god, what do I tell my parents? **How** do I tell my parents?"

"We can pick a weekend. I'll come back and we can tell them together. As long as they've known me everything will eventually be ok."

"No it won't."

"Why not?" She sighed and sniffed.

"I never told them you were bisexual."

"Oh."

"They won't understand. And it'll be in all the society papers, I'll be a laughing stock. Daddy will be a laughing stock and Mama will never be able to show her face at the parties and clubs again. Thanks a lot Sam."

"Lisa, wait. This wasn't an easy decision for me either. Josh had been my best friend for years. It was scary to cross the line from friends to lovers-"

"Oh my god, I didn't need to hear that Sam."

"We haven't done _that_ yet; we agreed that I would talk with you first. Because then it wouldn't seem like…"

"Like you were cheating on me? Let's face it Sam; you were. Your heart was elsewhere. And I was a fool to think that you would come back to me the same way you left." She stood to leave and started to walk off.

"I'm sorry Lisa. I really am. I didn't know I felt that way about Josh, until all the feelings just came up." She kept shaking her head in disbelief. "I'm not asking you to accept this or to even understand. I just ask that you respect my decision." She looked away from him, hurt, impending shame and disgust on her face. "I mean it Lisa. I really am sorry. I never expected things to go this way. I want you to know that I did love you, I was in love with you and you will always have a special place in my heart. Please know that." Lisa turned back to look at him. She searched his eyes. Tears had fallen from his handsome blue eyes, the same eyes that caught her attention so long ago. She never knew Sam to lie so she knew at that moment that she would eventually have to accept his apology. She could see that this was also difficult for him. He was hurting too.

"Sam, I don't know what to say about all this. It's unexpected and…"

"I know. If it had been me, I don't know what I would say. I'd probably be feeling the same way."

"Don't worry about talking with my parents; I'll take care of everything."

"Lisa, are you sure? This is all on me and I know they'll have questions. I want to be able to answer them; I owe them that."

"I'll tell them that it was a mutual decision between us. I'll pack up anything that you may have left and maybe when everything is settled you can pick it up and we can talk to my parents then."

"Ok." Sam replied.

"Oh, and you don't have to worry; I won't out you and Josh no matter how much this hurts me."

"You don't have to do that."

"Yes, I do; even if I don't understand it all, you still deserve time to figure it out."

"Thank you for being considerate. It's probably more than I deserve."

"Goodbye Sam." Then Lisa surprised him with a kiss to the cheek and a hug.

"Goodbye Lisa."

* * *

It was about 10:00 p.m. and the campaigners from Boston had just come in on the train. While their bags were being transferred to the charter train, they checked in with their perspective leaders and received their itineraries. Sam was already on the train going over the last minute changes of the "Going West" speech with Toby and Bartlet. That's what they were calling in since that's where they were going. The train was to leave at midnight. The press was lining up to get a good seat for the brief news conference. An aide had come up to Josh and told him that he had a visitor.

"Just direct them to where the press is supposed to go." Josh told him.

"I don't think she's with the press." Josh looked up from his checklist and in the direction the aide was pointing. It was Lisa. "And she's not taking no for an answer. She said she had to speak to you before the train leaves."

"Ok, thanks. I'll speak to her. Can you find Donna Moss and give this to her please?" Suddenly Josh sneezed.

"Bless you." The aide said.

"Thanks. I've been sneezing for two days. I hope it goes away I don't want to infect the whole train. Could you also have Donna find Dr. Bartlet for me? I think I need something stronger than sinus meds." The aide nodded and left to find Donna. Josh walked over to where Lisa was.

"I see you're not sleeping much either." She said to him.

"No, not much. And whatever this is I have is about to kick my but. Makes me look like Rudolph." He said referring to his nose. Josh took out his handkerchief and wiped his nose. "This may seem like a dumb question, but how are you?"

"I've had better days."

"Sam's on the train with the Governor and Toby going over the speech. He'll probably be available in a few minutes if you want to talk."

"I didn't come to talk to Sam and you know it. We had our conversation earlier." Josh looked down at his feet for a moment.

"Yeah, I know. We talked about it a little. Listen Lisa this love relationship between Sam, and me we didn't plan it. It really just sort of happened. I really am sorry that you got hurt. I didn't know when I came here to visit him that this would come about."

"I know. I could look in Sam's eyes and tell. He has never been able to lie and he certainly has never been able to lie to me. He would rather try to fix the situation than lie and say everything is fine. But it wasn't meant to be this time." She stood defensively and squarely in front of Josh. "I need you to promise me something before you both get on that train."

"Anything. If it's in my power, I'll do it."

"It _is_ in your power. I need you, to promise me that he will never feel what I'm feeling right now."

"Lisa I don't know if I can promise that. Sam and I don't know what the future holds."

"Yes you can."

"Lisa I-"

"**You can and you will**." Lisa tried to blink back tears but they escaped anyway. "I'm losing my best friend and lover to his other best friend and lover. My heart is broken in a million pieces Josh. I need you to promise me that you will never break his heart. Those beautiful blues should never cry heartbroken sad tears." She wiped a few of her own away with the back of her hand.

"Lisa…"

"Promise me Josh." He sighed and could feel the start of his own tears stinging the back of his eyes. He knew this would hurt Lisa but now he could see just how much.

"I promise not to hurt Sam in any way that would cause him a broken heart."

"Thank you. If you ever break that promise and I find out about it, I will personally come and take you out of this world. Understood?"

"Understood." Josh replied. Lisa took one more look in the direction of the train and was able to see Sam one last time. The trio had come off the train, ready to have the news conference with the waiting press.

* * *

Once the news conference was over it was time to board. Sam could see that the stress of the campaign combined with lack of proper food and sleep was getting to Josh. He had come down with something. The schedule had them riding the train pretty much all night, arriving in Charlotte, NC around lunchtime.

"CJ, got a minute?" Sam asked.

"Sure what's up?"

"I know the press has their own car, the Governor and family have theirs and we're here. Is there any chance that the press core will come into our car?"

"They shouldn't less there is an emergency. Why do you ask?"

"Josh isn't felling well and Dr. Bartlet is going to give him some medicine but I know he's not going to rest unless I'm next to him making him."

"And you don't want anyone in the press to know?"

"Correct."

"I'll see what I can do." She thought a moment. "Well, since their car is behind us, why don't you guys sit more toward the Governor's car? They aren't allowed to go in without Secret Service. And I think he'd be more comfortable addressing them back there anyway. Yeah, that should solve it."

"Thanks CJ." Sam left to find Josh to let him know they were changing seats.

"Why are we sitting up here?"

"To get away from the press core."

"But I need to be back there if they have questions."

"They won't have any questions between now and D.C. or Charlotte because they will be asleep and so will you."

"Still doesn't explain why we're sitting here." Josh replied sneezing.

"Bless you. There's one reason. Another is to stay out of any wondering eyes of the press. I know Leo said he would take care of any questions, but we still need to be careful." Josh shrugged and started into a coughing spell.

"Well, when did the coughing start?" Came the voice of Dr. Bartlet from behind them.

"A little earlier. It's nothing to worry about though."

"Hogwash." She replied. "Here, take these." She handed the pills to Sam.

"Why are you giving them to him? I'm the one who has to take them."

"To ensure that you do take them. You need to eat something before taking those."

"I'm not really hungry Mrs. Bartlet."

"I'm Dr. Bartlet at the moment and the reason you don't feel like eating is your fever. There is aspirin and cold medicine there. I will pick up something stronger when we get to D.C. to change conductors. That shot I'll give you will probably keep you asleep for a quite a while."

"Asleep? But I have work to do."

"None of which will get done if you are too sick to do it." Sam said.

"He's right. Eat half the sandwich, piece of fruit and take the meds with the juice, follow with water. Then lights out." Josh looked at them both.

"Come on, Josh. No choice here."

"Ok."

"Good. I'll see you in about four hours."

Sam set out to make Josh as comfortable as he could. They split the turkey and cheese sandwich. Josh longed for the bag of chips that Sam had. Sam felt sorry for him and gave him a few. Josh ate his banana, took the medicine and drank half the water. They figured out how to let the seats back to be more comfortable. Josh fluffed his pillow while Sam covered him with a blanket. He turned off the reading light above them and lowered the window shade.

"You're really not going to let me do any work are you?"

"Nope. And that fever isn't either. Part of why you're sick is the stress. Just take this time to check out a minute and rest." Josh waited for Sam to get comfortable. Once they were facing each other, Josh felt for Sam's hand underneath the blanket and linked their fingers together.

"Lisa came to see me before the news conference."  
"Yeah, I saw her. She didn't look like she wanted to talk to me."

"She didn't. She made me promise not to break your heart."

"Lisa did that?" Josh nodded. "And what did you say?"

"I promised not to break your heart. And I promise that to you too."

"I believe you. Now, get some sleep." Sam moved in closer to kiss Josh good night but Josh backed away. "What's wrong?"

"You want Dr. Bartlet to give us both a shot?"

"I'll take my chances." Sam replied and kissed his boyfriend goodnight.

* * *

Washington D.C.

Josh sat back in his comfortable armchair remembering those nights on the train and that night in particular. He and Sam were together and finding acceptance that he was sure not many of their friends received from their employers and co-workers. He had a cup of hot Echinacea tea with a little bit of honey that he gently sipped. He was getting a scratchy throat and wanted to get rid of it before the middle of the week. He didn't want anything hindering their celebration weekend. Sam was secretive about the plans he'd made and Josh wanted to enjoy everything. As he sipped, he reminisced about the promise he'd made to Lisa then to Sam. And how that promise was broken.

* * *

**A/N2:** Ok, maybe it wasn't as short as I thought it was going to be. Up next… Chapter 12: The Beginning of the End?


	13. The Beginning of The End?

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

2. I don't own any name brand products mentioned.

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole.

This chapter contains a lot of language and lots of Josh bashing. Giving all you Josh fans a heads up.

**A/N:** This chapter contains section titles. Hope it doesn't annoy. It will probably be a long one too. I'm predicting 7,500 words after the title. We'll see if I'm right.

Chapter 12: The Beginning of The End?

Inauguration Night Washington, D.C.…

Sam and Josh stood in the Inaugural Ballroom looking at all the people dancing and celebrating the changing of the guards. Josiah Bartlet, The Dark Horse, had won the election and had been inaugurated earlier that day. It was cold and snowy but the sun shone. It was a beautiful day. They stood side by side, as Jed Bartlet made his first thank you speech to the waiting crowd. They were so proud of the work they had done. And even prouder, that he wanted to keep them on as part of his staff. Josh was the Deputy Chief of Staff working under Leo and Sam the Deputy Communications Director working under Toby.

While watching the President and First Lady, Sam felt a little jealous that they wouldn't be able to dance with each other like the other couples would be doing shortly. Donna and Ginger offered to be their beards for the evening, which the fellas thought was sweet and kind. So they all danced together for a little bit. Leo came up to them while they were just standing and offered them a glass of champagne.

"A toast: To the two brilliant minds that helped to get Jed Bartlet elected, I, the President and First Lady would like to personally thank you. Cheers to you both." Leo said and they all took a sip of the champagne. "Noah would be so proud of you both."

"Thanks Leo." Josh replied. "But I think we've already been thanked with the Staff positions we received."

"I agree." Sam said but Leo shook his head. "There's more?"

"Gentlemen, follow me." They looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and followed him. Leo led them to a hallway definitely behind the scenes, but not far away from the ballroom. They could still hear the music. There were Secret Service men posted at all entry points and in between.

"Our reward is the hallway?" Josh asked. Leo laughed.

"No, your reward is a chance to dance together at the world famous Inaugural Ball."

"Really? That's so cool." Sam said with lots of excitement in his voice.

"Here in the hall?"

"Josh, come on; you know we can't dance in there without giving ourselves away. This is perfect. We can still hear the music; we have privacy and the protection of the Secret Service. What more could we ask for?"

"Stay out here as long as you want. If you want, you can rejoin the party and even come back here to the hall. They're instructed to be here until we all leave the building." Leo said. A smiling Sam looked at his lover and held out his hand.

"May I have this dance Joshua?" Josh looked at Sam and laughed.

"Only if you promise not to call me Joshua anymore. The only person who really uses that form of my name is my mother."

"Deal."Sam said.

"Great. If I don't see you anymore tonight, enjoy the rest of the night and I will see you bright and early in my office tomorrow."

"Thanks again Leo." Sam said.

"Yes, we appreciate it."

"You deserve it." Leo rejoined the party. It was just the two of them and about eight to ten Secret Service men alone in the hall.

"Shall we?" Sam asked holding his arms open for Josh.

"Yes, we shall." When Josh entered Sam's arms, he was immediately met with a kiss as Sam pulled him closer. "I can't believe it. We're at the Inaugural Ball kissing. How cool is this?"

"I know. I can't believe it either." Sam placed his head on Josh's shoulder and they gently swayed to the music.

"I love you so much." Josh whispered kissing Sam again.

"I love you too. One day, this won't matter and gay couples will be able to dance together in political settings not have to worry about anyone looking." Josh said.

"I hope we live to see the day."

"Me too, Sam. Me too."

* * *

The night my world nearly ended (Sam's POV)

Gunshots. That's all I could hear. I remember a Secret Service Agent pushing me down. I didn't even know what was happening. It was so chaotic and so much screaming. People were running everywhere. I looked to see if I could see who shot at us…who shot at the President. I tried but that agent kept pushing my head down. My thought was Josh.

"Josh?" I didn't see him. I didn't hear him. We usually walk side by side but tonight we didn't. I can't remember why…we just didn't. It's not like we would have been able to hold hands or anything. There were so many people outside, in the cold. Waiting to get a glimpse of the current Commander in Chief. The Secret Service starting moving us to cars and I still couldn't see Josh. "Where's Josh? Has anyone seen Josh?" As soon as I said that, I heard…

"**WE NEED AN AMBULANCE NOW!"**

The agents were scrambling trying to get us to safety. My heart stopped. Was the President shot? Was he hurt? It wasn't his body on the cold ground bleeding and barely breathing. It was Josh. _My Josh_. Suddenly I can't breathe. Tears blur my vision. I'm trying to get to him but they're holding me back.

"**Josh! Joshua!"** I keep calling his name but there's no response.

"We need you in the car **now** Mr. Seaborn!"

"I can't leave Josh! Josh! Hang on I'm coming!"

"Can't let you do that!"

"No, I have to get to him! You don't understand. You don't…" I find myself breaking free and running to his side. He's covered in blood and my heart sinks into my stomach. _Oh my God!_ "Josh, can you hear me? Josh, I'm here." I reach for his hand, he squeezes mine a little, and I hear him whisper my name, barely.

"Please hang in there Josh," I whisper. His eyes begin to roll into the back on his skull. "Josh, I love you. Please hang in there. **Please**." The paramedics move me out of their way and at that moment, I felt two, maybe three Secret Service Men grab me and force me into the car.

"No, I need to stay with him, please let me ride with him!"

"There's not enough room."

"Please, please." I beg and beg them.

"Let the paramedics to their job. They have to get him to the hospital." I try to watch from the back window of the car as the ambulance speeds off with my heart, my love in the back. Our car speeds off and all I can do is cry.

While in the waiting room, I can't sit down. Everyone tries to get me to, but I can't. I can't sit while Josh's life hangs in the balance. I can't. I cannot imagine my adult life without him. I pace and pace. Finally, they let me walk the hall with the Secret Service standing guard. I can't sit down. Every time I move, I hear "Princeton is on the move". I cannot sit still. Josh. As I pace I feel a hand on my shoulder and realize that I am standing outside the nearby chapel. It's Mallory's hand. Her voice is gentle.

"We can go in if you want." I shake my head.

"I want to but I can't. No, what if there's news. I want to be there. I need t-"

"They know where we are Sam." She opens the door and we walk in together.

"Mal, this is a waste. He'll never hear my prayer. I'm bisexual, I rarely go to church. Josh doesn't go to temple. We should just go back."

"Sam, God will hear everything you say to Him," came a voice from behind us. It was the President. "He hears every prayer loud and clear. Go ahead and say what you want. I know I will."

"Does He know how much I love Josh? Does He even care?"

"Yes to both questions." Mallory replied.

"I agree." Jed agreed. Mallory led me to a pew and we sat down. I can't do anything but cry at first. My head is in my hands and my tears flow through my fingers. But eventually I feel like I can say what I want, what I need to say.

I pray that everyone in that operating room is the real deal. I pray they know exactly what they are doing. I pray _Oh, God please, save him. I love him. I love him so much_. I pray God hears my prayer.

After a while, we all feel able to walk back to the waiting room. CJ tells us his mom is on the way. Leo is waiting for an update from the Secret Service. We all want to turn the TV off because the only thing that's on is the news. And it's all about Josh. At this point, we've all had enough of the bad coffee and hospital food available after midnight. I know I am. It's a few hours more and Dr. Bartlet gives us an update on Josh; everything looks good. It looks like he will pull through. Again, my head is in my hands and the tears flow through my fingers.

* * *

The Broken Promise (back to regular POV)

It was after midnight on a Friday, Josh and Sam were cuddled together in Sam's bed after making love. They're facing each other and Josh was nibbling on Sam's ear trying to feel out if either of them had enough stamina for round three. Sam couldn't help but run his finger through Josh's hair and laugh at his efforts.

"You know, I was thinking." Sam said.

"Hmmm, about what?" Josh said as Sam giggles a little from the ticklish feeling.

"We should move in together." Josh stopped his nibbling.

"Really? You want to?"

"Yeah. It makes so much sense when you think about it. Half of your clothes are here, half of mine are your place. If we moved in, our clothes would all be in one place. I could help you pay off the townhouse. We would save precious quality time together by just coming home to one place and not stopping separate places to get something we forgot."

"Oh."

"And, I think between the two of us we have enough cooking skills that we won't starve. Or have to order pizza or Chinese every night."

"True." Josh said. He was silent a moment and Sam could tell he was thinking.

"So, what do you think?"

"I think, I need to think about it."

"Ok." Sam said and kissed Josh passionately on the lips. "Mmmm…round three?" Josh smirked.

"Round three it is."

Sam either liked to sleep with his head on Josh's chest or Josh's arms completely around him. But it really didn't matter because by morning they would be in completely different positions. That night had been a head to chest night. Sam turned over in his sleep and didn't feel Josh next to him. He listened for a few seconds to see if he was in the bathroom, but Sam heard no running water. He yawned and thought that maybe Josh was in the living room watching TV.

"And I thought I was the one who had trouble sleeping."

Occasionally when Josh couldn't sleep, he would catch up on Sports Center on ESPN or maybe watch an old movie he hadn't seen in a long time. Usually after an hour, the TV would be watching Josh. Sometimes Sam would go in to find him and they would both end up sleeping on the couch.

He walked into the living room expecting to see the light from the TV cast upon the wall but found only darkness. Sam called out for his lover but only received silence as a response.

"Maybe he went for a walk or a drive." He yawned again and looked out at the street to see if he could see Josh walking in front of the building. No sign of him. "Did my statement bother him that much?" Sam shrugged and shuffled back into the bedroom. "He'll be back by sunrise."

It was rare when the White House Senior staff had a Saturday to sleep in, even rarer when they had a Saturday off. Out of habit, Sam woke up at 8:15. That was his usually Saturday office time to wake up. When he opened his eyes, he expected to see Josh, begging for ten more minutes of sleep. His side of the bed was empty. Sam had the bathroom and the whole apartment to himself. Josh was nowhere to be seen. Thinking he had stepped out (or stayed out) to get breakfast, Sam paged him to see where he was. Josh usually answered his pages within ten minutes, no matter where he was or what he was doing. So, Sam made coffee while he waited. Still no answer. He called Josh's house and the phone rang until the machine picked up. Sam felt silly leaving a message but he did it anyway.

Sam took the elevator downstairs to get his morning paper and decided to look in the garage and sure enough, the second parking space for his apartment was indeed empty. He immediately called the White House switchboard to see if there had been an emergency that Josh needed to be in for but not Sam.

"Thank you for calling the White House Switchboard Helen speaking."

"Hi Helen, this is Sam Seaborn. Could you connect me to Josh Lyman's office please?"

"One moment please Mr. Seaborn." A minute later, she came back on the line. "I'm sorry Mr. Seaborn but there is no answer at that line. Would you like me to ring it back to leave a message?"

"That's strange. No, I don't want to leave a message. Could you connect me to Leo McGarry's office instead?"

"One moment please." A few seconds later, Leo came on the line.

"Leo McGarry?"

"Hey Leo, it's Sam."

"Morning."

"Is there something going on at the White House that I wasn't invited to?"

"Not that I know of. Plenty of tourists visiting today I hear. You think we would purposely leave you out of something?"

"I don't know. Just wondering."

"What's this about Sam?" Sam could image that Leo was putting down whatever he had been reading and had probably taken off his glasses.

"It's probably nothing. Don't worry about it. Forget I called; go back to reading whatever it was you were reading."

"Sam..."

"Yes?"

"I won't ask you again to tell me what's going on." Sam sighed.

"I can't find Josh. Something's not right. He always tells me where he's going. He's not answering any pages, he's not at home or the office and I'm a little concerned."

"Has he been having any flashbacks or episodes?" Leo asked this referring to Josh's near death experience.

"Not that he's told me. And I haven't seen any."

"When did you last see him?"

"After midnight when we went to sleep. He wasn't there when I woke up and I don't know where he is."

"Ok, let me do some checking and I'll get back to you, ok?"

"Thanks Leo."

Three hours later, Sam tried calling Josh again at home. Still no answer. His worry level jumped about twenty levels. He jumped when the phone rang.

"Josh?" He asked answering.

"No, just me." Leo said.

"Did you find him?"

"Well he answered the test page we sent out. From a payphone, the Secret Service said. But that's all. I put in a message for him to call me about something work related but I haven't heard back yet."

"You don't think he's in trouble do you?"

"No. Did something happen between you two?"

"No, everything's fine."

"For some reason I don't believe you. Anyway, the Secret Service will keep a look out. They have their ways of looking. I've put a call into Stanley and he promised to call if he heard from Josh. If he doesn't show up by Monday…"

"Yeah, let's hope it doesn't come to that."

Throughout the rest of the night and all day Sunday, Sam tried calling Josh. He never got an answer. He was trying to avoid going to the house, because he figured the Secret Service would have already done that. But he was anxious and needed to do something to calm his fears. So he drove to the townhouse they kind of shared. He used the key Josh had given him and entered. The place looked clean, which was unusual for Josh. The kitchen was clean except for the coffee cup from Friday morning. The bed didn't look slept in. The mail was on the front table like always. Sam checked the stamps to see if Saturday's mail was there, and it was.

"So he's been here." Sam then checked the answering machine. There were only two messages. "I know I left more than two messages." The two calls were from that Sunday morning. Sam didn't know how to feel after discovering that Josh had listened to his messages, erased them but didn't call him back. He reset the machine so the messages would seem new. He felt the TV so see if it was warm. It wasn't.

"So now what?" He contemplated leaving Josh a note, letting him know that he had been there, concerned –no worried- and looking for him. He grabbed a piece of paper from the desk and a pen. Then left the note on the bed.

_Josh, I tried calling. Is everything ok? Did I do or say something wrong? We need to talk. See you tomorrow._

_I Love You, Sam_

Sam came in a little earlier Monday morning, hoping to catch Josh before things got busy. No such luck. Their paths never crossed that Monday after the Senior Staff Meeting. Not so unusual for a Monday. When Sam was leaving for the day, Josh was still in a meeting. Leo saw him and called out to him.

"Mind some company?" Leo asked.

"Nope. Can't believe you're done for the day."

"I wish. Waiting for Josh to get out of a meeting. Did you get a chance to talk today?"

"No. Haven't seen him since we left your office this morning."

"And you're sure nothing is going on?"

"As far as I know, everything is ok. Maybe he was just really busy. You know how Monday's are."

"Yeah, but I'm concerned that he hasn't called you."

"Me too."

Sam went home that night, grabbed a beer and reheated spaghetti that he'd made the day before. It was baffling and disturbing to him that Josh wouldn't call him, or make time to see him. Over the next week, Sam tried to talk to him. Even after they were in meetings together. Josh was all business. Nothing was out of the ordinary with that. But when workweeks were hectic and overwhelming, Josh would come into Sam's office for a little relief. Always. He would close the blinds between his and Toby's office and lock the door with a devilish grin on his face. Josh hadn't been in all week. Sam even left word with Donna. If nothing else, Donna would nag him about it until he did it. Donna was true to form, Josh wasn't.

The next three weeks were hard on Sam. Not only was Josh not talking him (for reasons he didn't know), he seemed to be obviously avoiding him. Pretending as if he didn't hear Sam's voice across the parking lot or in the hall. On top of his love life turning upside down, he found out that his father was cheating on his mother. It wasn't just a few months or a year or so affair. Twenty-eight years. Twenty-eight years that his dad had been cheating on his mom; almost all of Sam's life. When they thought he was away on business, he wasn't. He was with his other family. Yes, Sam found out he had some siblings that he didn't know about. The oldest was just a few years younger than Sam, the rest younger than that. His sisters Camille and Charlotte cried for an hour when they found out. His brother Nathan wanted to hit his father for making them all suffer, especially their mother. She was basically raising four children on her own as much as he was "out of town on business." He felt betrayed. Everything he ever knew or felt about his dad was all false. A big lie. And the added salt to an already gaping wound? Josh wasn't around for Sam to talk to. He talked to Leo and the President about it and they sent him to see Dr. Stanley Keyworth. The same man who helped Josh. This was going to be interesting.

People were beginning to notice that things weren't right between Josh and Sam. Only a select few knew they were a couple. Everyone else knew they were best friends and came to appreciate the "Josh and Sam Banter" they spoke in. Some people thought it was an act but it was just how they were. Jed noticed it as well and after talking with Leo, he asked them to meet him in his office. Sam didn't feel good about it. Mrs. Landingham and Charlie tried to make light conversation with them, but it wasn't working. Then Leo came down the hall with CJ in tow.

"Charlie, is he available?" Leo asked.

"Yes, you can go in now." He turned to the troubled couple.

"Josh, Sam." They stood and followed them into the Oval Office. Jed was signing some papers that he handed to Charlie as he left.

"Gentlemen, please have a seat." They each sat on couches, opposite of each other. Sam sat with his back to the couch and his legs crossed. Josh had his arms across his chest. Leo had pulled a chair for himself and CJ so they could sit next to the President. Jed sat down and looked at both men. "Just so you know and in case anyone asks, you two have officially been called into the Principal's Office. I've been hearing some disturbing things about the two of you for the past few weeks and I have observed some things myself. We're here to get things straightened out before anything gets out of hand. So, who wants to go first?" Neither of them spoke.

"Now, I'm no shrink but I can tell from your body language that this is uncomfortable. Believe me when I say this that calling you in here is no picnic for me either. Something has come between you two and it's affecting your work. Now, what in God's green Earth is going on?" Still no answer. "For the sake of all our lives, somebody please start." Josh sighed.

"One night after being intimate, Sam asked-"

"It was a _statement_. I didn't ask a question Josh, I made a statement."

"One night after being intimate, Sam made a _**statement**_, that we should move in together. I told him I would think about it."

"And?" Jed asked.

"I thought about it and I don't think we should."

"When did you decide this?" Sam asked.

"A while ago." Josh replied.

"A while ago? A while ago meaning when you left me by myself and didn't answer any of my calls or pages for two days straight?"

"Yeah, something like that." Josh was avoiding eye contact with Sam at the moment.

"You could have told me this three weeks ago and we could have avoided all this foolishness." Sam said.

"You guys haven't talked in three weeks?" Leo asked.

"How could we? He hasn't returned any of my calls since he left me alone that night. I've left messages, pages, notes. I even got Donna to nag him. How he avoided that I don't know. Purposely going the opposite direction in the hall, pretending that it's not my voice in the parking lot. Just to avoid me?"

"Josh is this true?" Jed asked.

"Pretty much." He replied.

"I'm a big boy Josh, I can take no for an answer. What I cannot take is this disrespect for our relationship and our friendship. This is the first time we've never _not_ talked since we've known each other. Was it that hard to tell me no? It's not like I would have thrown a fit or something Josh. I merely made a statement that things would be easier on us. Nothing would have changed. And now you've turned it into a three-week long silent treatment."

"I know."

"Well, can you at least tell me why? Why the wait?"

"There are things going on that you don't understand."

"Try me." Sam asked.

"I think people know about us. People who shouldn't know and they could do things. So to avoid anything happening I don't think we should live together. As a matter of fact I don't think we should be together anymore at all." Sam's mouth dropped as well as everyone else's in the office.

"You what?" Sam uncrossed his legs, sat forward and looked Josh right in his eyes. "You think we should break up? For what? Just because somebody knows we're bisexual? So what? Josh that's a bullshit excuse!"

"It's not a bullshit excuse Sam! There are people out there who could hurt us or the President and if we're not together then we all have a chance of surviving."

"Josh if you know of a threat the Secret Service needs to know; it's your duty to tell. It's their job to keep us all safe." Jed said.

"I…I don't have any specifics and no concrete proof but I just know. I hear stuff, talk and gossip. But it's more than gossip. Trust me; it's safer for all of us if you and I are apart."

"My life has been falling apart for three weeks wondering what's going on between us and this shit with my dad and you're worried about someone finding out that we're a couple? This is so screwed up." Sam was blinking back tears, but it was clear to everyone that it wouldn't be long before they saw them.

"And you think someone is coming after you?" Leo asked.

"They came after Charlie didn't they?"

"Josh, have you talked with Stanley about this?" Jed asked.

"No, and I don't need to. I know what you're thinking, I'm not paranoid, and I'm not having a mental breakdown. I'm not. I just know, someone is after us and I need to keep everyone safe."

"So you're throwing our life, our love away like trash Josh? You're saying the last two and half years didn't exist for us. You are saying we never were. That every single word and feeling of love between us doesn't exist for you?" Josh sighed and CJ could see his tears brimming.

"They did, but they can't anymore. We have to be apart. That's all there is to it."

"Maybe you two can get some counseling, talk things out."

"There's no talking to be done Sir." Josh said. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He then took a ring off that had three keys on it and slid them across the table. Sam's mouth dropped again. "These are to your apartment. I've gotten all of my stuff and I think I've put all yours back. I think you still have a couple of shirts at the cleaners, but other than that everything is back where it belongs."

"Josh what are you doing? _Why are you doing this?_" The tears finally began streaming down Sam's face and his voice was filled with sadness and confusion.

"I'm giving you back your keys. And I think you should give me back mine. It's better this way Sam."

"For _who_ Josh? I love you and I thought you loved me. You're saying that there is no more us? This is it?"  
"Yes." His answer was short and definitive. The Oval Office was still and silent. CJ was sure she could hear Sam's heart breaking in a million pieces next to her. With tears blurring his vision, Sam reached into his pocket and removed the key ring that held the keys to Josh's townhouse. His other home. His slid them across the table and Josh quickly grabbed them. Sam couldn't form any words. He was too shocked and hurt to even think. Jed looked at Sam and felt for the young man who had become like a son to him. And Josh too.

"Josh, are you _absolutely sure_ that this is what you want?" He asked.

"Yes sir, Mr. President." Jed's shoulders dropped. He didn't know what else to do. Josh looked at his watch. "I don't mean to be rude sir, but I have a meeting in ten minutes." Josh picked up his folders, note pad, and quietly left the office. Sam sat on the couch, staring at his keys. He reached out to grab them. He tried hooking them onto his keys but couldn't because of his tears.

"Sam, I'm so sorry. I had no idea what was going on with Josh." Leo said.

"No need for apologies Leo. It's not your fault." Sam replied sniffing. "Apparently, I didn't know what was going on either. We've never not talked. I knew Josh could be a bastard and an asshole, I just never thought he'd be one to me." Sam stood as if he was going to leave, but couldn't and sat back down. He tried standing again but ended up sitting. CJ placed her hand on his shoulder to keep him sitting until he was really ready to leave.

"And he's said nothing about who might be after you two?" Jed asked. Sam shook his head.

"It's the first I've heard of it." Sam was bewildered.

"I'll check into what I can." CJ said. "See what I can find out." She stood to leave.

"Thank you CJ." Jed said.

"I'll talk with Secret Service and see what they know." Jed nodded.

"Sam have you been keeping your appointments with Stan?"

"Yes sir. Had one yesterday. Next one will be Tuesday."

"Were you planning on going to the Rage Party this weekend?"

"I was going to go and support people."

"I think you need to participate. With everything that's going on with your dad and now Josh. I'll talk to Stan and have him set up a place just for you, ok?"

"Ok." Sam replied and stood to leave.

"Take little bit if you need to." Leo said.

"I can't really. I'm supposed to be in the same meeting as Josh."

"Oh." Jed replied. "If you need to skip it, skip it. I'm sure they'll understand."

"I'll be fine sir." Sam replied as he wiped the remainder of his tears and headed out of the Oval Office.

That afternoon's meeting had to have been the longest Sam had ever been in. He couldn't even look at Josh. They had had some heated arguments in these meetings with Congressional Representatives and Senators. There were always fireworks in their arguments. Today, just duds. The meeting actually ended long before it usually did, always extended by their arguments. A meeting without the Josh and Sam banter? It baffled everyone in attendance. The duo was as out of character as they could be.

At the end of the day, Sam gathered his things and made his way to the parking lot. He saw Josh's car and wondered if Josh was purposely waiting for him to leave first so they wouldn't have to talk or see each other. Sam picked up fast food on his way home. He didn't feel like cooking. He really didn't feel like eating but with all that had happened that day, he couldn't remember when he had eaten or if he had eaten. He turned on Sports Center just for the noise; didn't really care about the scores. Not that night anyway. He wanted to drown his sorrows in alcohol, but he had too much to do in the following days to deal with a hangover. Or a bad breakup. As he lay alone in his bed, Sam wanted to cry but couldn't. He knew he would cry all night and not sleep. Red, puffy eyes would not be a good look in the morning.

Across town, Josh wasn't faring any better. All he could see as he tried to sleep was the pain and shock on Sam's face. The memory of tears steaming down Sam's pink, embarrassed cheeks now made him sick to his stomach. He couldn't believe what he had done. He broke Sam's heart. It was hard for them to go from best friends to lovers; they dared to cross that line and now there was no way to fix it.

"There's no way in hell Sam will ever trust me to be his friend again. I've thrown away over ten years of friendship and the best relationship I've ever been in on a hunch. What is wrong with me? I've fucked up this time." He said to the silent space in his bedroom. Josh sat up and felt the empty side of the bed, feeling the coolness on the sheets then realized that Sam would ever be there again. Josh ran to the bathroom and threw up.

The next morning Sam found Senator Cup before even going to his office.

"Senator Cup, do you have a minute?" He asked. The Senator was grabbing a cup of coffee from the cart outside his office building. He looked up.

"Morning Sam. What brings you here this early?"

"I feel I need to apologize for my behavior in the meeting yesterday."

"Apologize? My staff was so surprised when I walked back in my office early from a meeting with Josh and Sam. I probably walked in on some stuff I probably shouldn't have. Why are you apologizing?"

"I wasn't myself yesterday."

"I'll say. Some days I actually look for to the arguments just to see what you two will say."

"I had just received some bad news, I let it affect my work and I shoudn't have. For that I am truly sorry." Senator Cup looked at Sam's face.

"You're serious aren't you?"

"Yes sir I am."

"Well, this is a first for me. Apology accepted Sam."

"Thank you sir. I really appreciate it."

A few hours later found Josh standing outside Senator Cup's office, waiting to see if he had an extra minute.

"Josh?"

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. It will only take a minute, I promise."

"What's this about Josh?"

"My behavior in the meeting yesterday." The Senator couldn't believe it. "I let some personal things get in the way of my job and I apologize for not being in the meeting as I should have been." Cup didn't know if he should mention that Sam had done the same thing. He decided against it.

"I must say this is a surprise. I was beginning to think you two were playing a prank on us. Never seen either of you so quiet."

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted Josh."

Just before evening, Senator Cup was outside the Oval Office, waiting to see if the President had a moment for him. Charlie nodded that he could go in.

"Well, Senator Cup I'm surprised to see you. How are Barbara and the girls?" Jed asked.

"Just fine, sir, just fine." He replied as they shook.

"Have a seat."

"Thanks but no. I won't be here long."

"Mind if I sit?"

"No sir, it's your office."

"So what brings you by here?"

"I've had two unusual things happen to me today involving two members of your Senior Staff."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, Josh and Sam came to me today, separately, and apologized for not being Josh and Sam in the meeting yesterday."

"Arguing too much?"

"I wish. I would have recognized them then. The two men in that meeting yesterday looked like Josh and Sam, but they definitely were not acting like them. They were quiet." Jed leaned forward in the chair.

"How quiet?"

"It was like we met without them. Didn't even seem like they were in the room. What's going on with them?"

"Not sure I follow."

"They are never quiet in any meeting thery're both in. **Never**. If you want to get your agenda passed or get re-elected, you must fix what's broken. Those Senators and Congress men and women won't believe in a Bartlet administration without the two of them."

"And here I thought I was the administration."

"You are. But Josh is your guard dog and as gifted as you are, everyone knows Sam's words and your voice are almost one."

"I see."

"I don't know what the fight was about but it was epic. And if I noticed it, the people in the room noticed it. How much longer before everyone else notices it?" Jed stood.

"Thank you for your concern, Ray. I appreciate it. Let me talk with them and see what we can do."

"Thank you for your time Mr. President."

* * *

The Rage Party…

It was Saturday morning and Sam was looking for a parking spot so he could park his car. He was at the Rage Party that the White House therapists had set up. It was a chance for everyone to relieve stress. There were sections, all separate from each other where staffers could throw ceramic, glassware and pottery items against walls to release frustration. There were also several automobiles and sledge hammers available for those who wanted that.

Sam walked over to Stan to show that he was there. There was so much going through his mind. He hadn't been able to comfortably sleep since he and Josh had broken up. It has been a rough couple of nights. Stan showed him what he had set up. There was a wall like all the others with plenty of things to throw at it. There was also an old car.

"I'm glad you're here Sam."

"So the President talked you?"

"Yes, he did and I'd like to talk a little bit about how you feel before we get to the release through rage."

"Talk about what?"

"What exactly was going through you mind while Josh was talking?"

"I don't know if I had any real thoughts." He replied as he leaned against the car. "I was just shocked and hurt. I know I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't believe he was breaking up with me."

"Have you talked since that day?" Sam shook his head. "Why not?"

"There's nothing to me to say, nothing I can say. He says he doesn't want us in a relationship anymore, wouldn't even consider it."

"How does that make you feel after all we've already been discussing?" Sam was trying to hold back his tears. "Sam, we're in a safe place. It's ok to let your feelings out. The press is on the other side of the field; no one will be asking you questions."

"I'm so angry and pissed. After this shit with my dad, I feel abandoned. There is no decent male love in my life. What I thought I knew about love is… they're both assholes for doing this to me!" Sam grabbed the sledgehammer so quickly Stan had to jump back. The smashing of the headlights sent glass everywhere. He took another swing and hit the hood.

"That's good Sam. Talk it out as you go."

"Fucking bastards! How could _**they**_? They don't know shit about love!" He was smashing the hood again. "All the times I wanted to talk to my dad and he was with his other family. Claiming it was business. Business my ass!"

***SLAM***

"Where were you when I needed you? Huh? _**Where were you?**_ When I was trying to figure out who I was…who I wanted to be…?"

***SLAM***

"Where were you fucking coward?" Sam began hitting the doors on the right side of the car. "You didn't want to raise us so you raised your other children instead. I made the toughest decision of my life without you and all you could say was that you were disappointed? You could've cared less. You only cared that I didn't mess up the family name. What's that name worth now? Not much huh!"

*** Another slam to the door***

"You're no father. You're not a man. I can't believe I ever wanted to be. like. you!"

Across the field, the bus had arrived with the press core. The President thought it would be a good idea to have a press conference there and to let the press core see what was going on. There would be some comments from the American Psychiatric Journal presenting the various form of anger management release. Before everyone was seated and ready, Danny Concannon came up to CJ.

"Got a minute CJ?"

"If by a minute you literally mean one minute then yes. What's up?"

"Can I get an off the record confirmation?"

"Off the record?"

"I have a source that says Josh and Sam are together."

"Together as in-"

"Come on CJ, together as in together. Boyfriends. Any truth to it?"

"Well, you know the White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of the Senior Staff or any other staff for that matter. What is your source saying?"

"Now, you know I can't reveal that."

"I didn't ask _who _it was; I _asked_ what did they tell you?"

"That they've been in a secret relationship that the President didn't tell anybody about. What's with all the secrets?"

"Well, if they were in a relationship wouldn't it be up to them comment on it? If the President had knowledge of such a relationship and felt that the American people needed to know about it or that it was a threat to national security, then I guess he would comment on it. But since he doesn't, he hasn't. And since I have no knowledge of such a relationship I can't comment on it either."

"Wait I know that look."

"What look?"

"The look that says you know something."

"You're right; I do know a lot of things. I also know that in about fifteen minutes the President will be addressing all of you."

"Oh come on CJ. That's not fair."

"I know, sucks doesn't it?"

She walked away from Danny and over to where Stan was working with Sam. CJ felt sorry for the car; it wouldn't even be worthy of the scrap yard when he was done with. She was actually trying to see if Stan was going to address the press as the White House therapist but the Assistant Therapist stopped her and told her that she would be addressing them. Stan was stilling working with Sam. CJ stood still and listened to Sam for a few minutes while waiting for Lynn to get her notes. Sam had worked his way around to the other side of the car, going at the windows and left doors.

"Fuck **YOU!"**

***SHATTERING GLASS***

"How dare you break my heart you asshole? I give you my heart and my love and you…you do this?" The dent on the rear left door was getting bigger and bigger with each blow of the sledgehammer.

"**JOSHUA AVERY LYMAN I HATE YOU! **

**FUCK YOU!**

**BASTARD! **

**ASSHOLE!**

**I HATE YOU, YOU PRICK! **

**DO YA HEAR THAT? I HATE YOU!"**

Sam's face was red with anger; his sweat and tears were intermingled, no distinction between the two. Sam was frustrated; the car wasn't being destroyed fast enough for him. Each blow that made contact he imagined it as a blow to his father or to Josh. He opened the car door, stood on the seat and starting slamming the hammer into the roof. The fact that he was hurting, hurt CJ. When Lynn was ready, they walked back to the Senior Staff and towards the press core. She pointed Lynn in the direction of her staffer and promised to join them in a minute.

CJ walked over to where Josh, Toby and Leo were standing. They were trying not to stare at Sam's destruction project but couldn't help but look in that direction every time they heard glass or the sound of hammer hitting metal.

"Have any of you had a turn yet?" She asked.

"Twice." Toby replied. "The more I look at Sam I feel like I need to go again."

"I've been." Leo said.

"I haven't."

"Why not?" Toby asked. Josh shrugged.

"I don't feel I need to."

"Bullshit Josh." CJ said as her anger rose. "Look at him! Look at what you've _done_. That poor man is over there _**literally**_ calling you everything but a Child of God and you refuse to get angry at the fact that you two aren't together anymore? You refuse to get pissed off that someone is trying to control your life, trying to control who you love? That doesn't piss you off?" Josh just stood there with his arms crossed in front of him. "Well damn it, it's pissing me off and I'm just a bystander!"

"What do you want me to do CJ? The situation is what it is."

"I want you to get mad; I want you to fight for your relationship."

"You think I'm not mad? You think I want to be _apart_ from him? Well I don't CJ; I love him."

"Who are you trying to convince us or you?"

"Whatever CJ, I love him with all my heart."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it." CJ retorted.

"It's because I love him and all of you that I did what I did. He's not the only one suffering CJ. I'm hurting too."

"Good luck proving _that_ to the rest of us. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to let off some rage before I face the reporters."

"I'm coming right behind you." Toby said. Josh walked away trying to find a secluded place.

Sam had finally spent all his energy and he could no longer lift the heavy sledgehammer. He slid down the side of the car, sitting in the dirt. His hair was disheveled; face all dirty and caked with mud made from his sweat and tears. His muscles were sore and he was breathless from crying. Sam's voice was almost gone from releasing his anger in words. Stan took the hammer from him and knelt beside him.

"Sam, you have now released the majority of the negativity and anger you felt."

"I'm so tired." He said.

"As well as you should be. When we don't release that pent up anger and frustration in our bodies it makes us sick. It manifests itself into something as simple as a cold or something as serious as a heart attack or a stroke. You haven't been sleeping, what you did today should help. You've released the initial anger and this should help you be able to deal with the next steps."

"Now what do I do?"

"The next step will be the pain and heartache. You've shed some tears today but nothing like what is coming. Don't stop them from coming. If you cry for ten minutes or ten hours, let the tears flow. The pain will come out and eventually it will cleanse your soul. When you go to bed tonight, you will be completely drained physically and emotionally. That's what these exercises do. When you are at your most vulnerable, you can begin to heal."

"I'm tried of crying."

"Oh, Sam you haven't really cried yet. My doctor's orders for today are for you to go home and shower. Use some muscle cream of you have it. Sit in a quiet place, think about your pain and let the tears come. If you have any thoughts, you can write them down and we'll talk about them Tuesday. Ok?" Sam shrugged.

"Ok." Stan stood and put out his hand to help Sam up.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but today was good Sam. Trust me."

President Bartlet had a few minutes to observe Sam before he had to address the press core. The strength that Sam was using to beat up the car was impressive. It let Jed know just how much Sam was hurting. Once the press core was seated, the conference began. CJ was nervous. She knew Danny wouldn't ask the President what he asked her, but she didn't know who else might. She silently prayed. The first question was about Sam.

"Mr. President, your Deputy Communications Director is giving that car the who-done-it-and-what-for. Care to comment?" He looked over in that direction as Sam was slamming the roof of the car.

"Well, I know he and Toby had some difference of opinions on a couple of speeches yesterday but I didn't think the difference was that bad." The reporters laughed a bit. "We're laughing ladies and gentlemen but that is a perfect example of what can happen when we let stress get to us. Now in a few minutes Dr. Lynn Greenbrier who is the Assistant Therapist for the White House Staff will address you with the specifics of today."

* * *

The pain and the proof…

Sam surprised himself when he parked his car in the garage of his building. He managed to make it home. He got a few looks from other tenants in the building because of how he looked. He leaned on the door once inside his apartment. His first thought was to slide to the floor, but he knew if he did, he'd be too tired to get up. He walked towards his bedroom and into his en suite bathroom. While waiting for the water to heat up, he stripped himself of his clothes and examined his battle scars. He had a few minute cuts from flying glass; they would probably burn a little when the soap hit it. But it didn't matter; he was already full of pain.

As the water hit his body, he felt the muscles in his arms relax some. He was still going to be sore but at least this was a start. After bathing, he put on clean clothes and headed towards the kitchen. Sam decided that he needed to eat but only because he used up so much energy at the Rage Party. A turkey sandwich hit the spot for him. He headed towards his living room with his glass of water and plopped down on the couch. And for the first time in three days, he allowed himself to realize what exactly had happened to him. Recalling the conversation from Wednesday brought the tears to his eyes and he didn't want to cry. But Dr. Keyworth's words came back to mind…let the tears flow, cleanse your soul. He laid down on his couch in the fetal position and as he did, he was brought face to face with the picture of him and Josh on his coffee table.

Sam reached out to touch the picture. He remembered when it was taken- a couple's anniversary party. Despite being an "in closet" couple in the political world they did have gay, lesbian and bisexual friends who knew the importance of keeping their relationship a secret. One of their friends was a photographer, constantly taking pictures. He took one of them just standing next to each other then later took of them kissing, without their knowledge. Carlton had manipulated the picture and in-laid the kiss above and to the left of the smiling one. They were so happy at that party. So happy.

The tears burned hot as they fell. Sam finally cried the way he should have. It was a cry of mourning; appropriate because the relationship and friendship both ended. Sam did not know how they would become friends again. He didn't know if they could. He had given Josh his heart. He had never loved anyone else, not even Lisa, with the depth he felt for Josh. Sam cried so hard that his body shook with his sobs. He cried until he fell asleep.

Hours later he was awakened by a phone call. It was the doorman downstairs calling to tell him he had a visitor. Sam told him to send them up. He was so out of it that he didn't hear the intercom. It was evening so Sam turned on a light. He had no idea who was coming to see him. Maybe it was Josh? Maybe he had a change of heart? A few minutes later, he heard the doorbell and he opened the door. It was CJ, accompanied by two Secret Service Agents.

"Hey Sam."

"CJ. Why are you here? And with agents?"

"I'm on official White House business Sam."

"Good evening Mr. Seaborn. We need to do a security sweep. It will just take a minute."

"Be my guest," Sam said stepping aside. He watched at the agents walked through his apartment, checking all the rooms.

"Thank you sir. We'll be outside Ms. Cregg."

"Thanks."

"Come in have a seat."

"Don't mind if I do."

"So, official business huh? I'm not being investigated am I?"

"No. Have you done something that requires that you be investigated?"

"No, just asking. Never see you on official business. What's up?"

"Well, it turns out there is proof to Josh's claim."

"What? Has someone contacted the White House?"

"No. When the press core arrived today Danny Concannon asked me about a rumor he'd heard, wanting an off the record confirmation about the two of you. I asked about the source, of course he didn't give it. I didn't give him the answer he wanted. However after you left, Lem Stout, a fairly new reporter, came at me with the same question."

"Did he hear your conversation with Danny?"

"No. I asked him about the source. He says he's never met his source. The pictures just start arriving a few months ago."

"Pictures? There are… pictures?"

"Yes." She handed Sam a brown envelope. He hesitantly took it and opened it, but was afraid to look inside.

"Does Josh know?"

"Not yet. He's the next stop." Sam reached in and took out the pictures. His shoulders dropped when he saw the first one. It was of them dancing at the Inaugural Ball. "I take it you recognize it?"

"The Inaugural Ball. The Bartlets and Leo arranged for us to dance in the hallway outside the ball, a reward for helping him get elected."

"Was anyone else there?"

"Just us and the Secret Service." Sam looked through the rest of the pictures. "This one is from the campaign; we were asleep on the bus. More from the campaign. And this one…" he showed it to CJ "was the night of the DNC. We were standing on the balcony of the hotel. Shelia had booked me in a room with Toby again and instead of me staying there, I just went to Josh's room. We had a couple of beers to celebrate and we were too tired to party with everyone else. So we just went to sleep in each other's arms." Sam smiled a little at the pleasant memory.

"Anyone ever come up to you to ask if they could take your picture?"

"No, never. Some of these are far away shots. But it's the ones when we were surrounded by the Secret Service that concern me. The agents were there so no one else could be."

"So you think an agent took these?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense. We never really paid attention to them; we were just enjoying the time we could have together. And we're always careful not to hold hands or kiss in public 'casue we know we can't be out like that. We kept all out intimacies to ourselves. I don't know who could have taken these."

"Well, knowing that you were with the agents when some of these were taken, helps a lot. It's quite disturbing, but it helps."

The conversation didn't get much easier once she got to Josh's.

"Was Sam ok? I mean did he seem ok?"

"You could tell he'd been crying. You could tell he's been hurt."

"So what brings you by?"

"If I could provide you with proof of a threat, would you get back together with Sam?"

"Proof? What proof?" She handed Josh the envelope and told him what happened earlier. Josh looked through the photos of him and Sam, smiling at the one of them dancing. "We were so happy that night."

"Would you?"

"Can you convince me that the threat isn't a threat?"

"Not right now. We're not even sure who it is. Lem's never met the person who sent the pictures."

"Find out who it is, and maybe…well just find out who it is."

* * *

**A/N2:** So word count says 23 pages and more than 9,000 words. Whoa 1,950 words over. Next up chapter 13…Time Apart


	14. Time Apart

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

2. I don't own any name brand products mentioned.

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance between Samuel Seaborn and Joshua Lyman of The West Wing. It is rated M as a whole.

**A/N:** This will probably be a long chapter too. I'm gonna be safe and say 10,000 words based on the last one. And there are section titles.

Chapter 13: The time apart

Santa Ana, CA

"Home at last. Thought I'd _never_ get home today!" Sam said as he closed the front door behind him. He'd had a very long day; meeting after meeting after meeting. He almost didn't want to hear anybody else talk. Almost. Josh was going to be calling in about thirty minutes and he always wanted to talk to him. After changing clothes and making himself a salad, he sat down at his dining room table. Josh rang right on time.

"Hello?"

"Well, there is my sexy Congressman. How did your day finally turn out?"

"Long and boring. Yours?"

"Pretty much the same. I like working for my home state's Congressman but sometimes I feel he doesn't have a clue."

"Believe me I know." Sam was looking through his mail.

"So what's for dinner with you?"

"I happen to have a Chicken BLT Salad with honey mustard dressing."

"A salad? Where's the man food?"

"Man food? A salad _is_ man food. And this one has chicken and bacon. I'll make it for you while you're here. You'll like it."

"I'm sure." A certain piece of mail caught his eye and he paused. "It was only a joke; no need to get quiet on me."

"No, it's not that. You know how towards our anniversary our friends start sending us cards and stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll never guess who this one is from."

"Who?"

* * *

Bartlet Administration, Washington, D.C. - Lawyers Convention

Sam didn't really like Lawyer Conventions but since this one was in the city, he thought he'd step out of the office for a few hours and see what the lawyers were talking about. Politics was always a part of the conversation he tried to avoid. Most of them thought they knew politics and since he actually worked in it, it would be like going to battle with an unprepared army. They'd lose before they got started.

"It is you," a voice said coming from behind Sam. "Wow, I didn't expect to see you here. They let you out of the White House on good behavior for the day?" He turned around to see a gorgeous blonde with a slightly southern accent smiling at him.

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't be. I understand what's it's like to work some place where your full talent isn't appreciated." Sam looked around confused for a second.

"Were you talking to me?"

"You're Sam Seaborn, Deputy Communication Director for the White House, yes?"

"Yes and you are…?"

"Ainsley Haynes. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I'm not sure I can say the same, yet."

"It's cool. Most men don't know how to read me when first meeting me either."

"Reading you? Is that what you think I was trying to do?"

"Of course; all men do."

"I'm still trying to figure out why you think I'm underappreciated at the White House?"

"You don't much reading outside of your speeches do you?" Sam was trying to be claim but this woman's attempt at a conversation was making him impatient and angry.

"I read plenty. I read what the critics say about my speeches."

"And you don't care?"

"I care. What gives you the impression that I don't?" Ainsley shrugged.

"Seems like you would do something about it." Sam shook his head. He had to get out of this conversation with her or she would make him insane.

"Look I'm not sure who you are or why you approached me, but when I hear the critiques of my speeches I can differentiate between when they are after my speech writing and when they are after the President's policy or whatever he's speaking about. Believer it or not, there is a difference."

"That's not what I hear."

"You know what? I'm not sure what you heard but I'm ending this conversation, because it's going nowhere." Sam left Ainsley standing by herself. During the rest of the week, Sam seemed to find himself constantly bumping into Ainsley. Which irritated him because he didn't want to see her? He wanted to attend certain seminars then leave for the office. But she was relentless.

After the conference ended and things were back to normal, Sam for some reason couldn't get Ainsley out of his mind. What was it? The conversation or attempted conversation was annoying. She seemed a little bit stalker-ish. He had enough drama in his life working for the White House, why invite more? So when the opportunity for coffee came up, he took it. How bad could it be? It was just coffee.

Sam found Ainsley intriguing, once he got to know her. She was knowledgeable, smart, and intelligent. She was blunt at times, yet beautiful and caring. She was everything he thought he needed right then in is life except for one thing. Ainsley was a Republican. Maybe it could work. His sister Camille married a Republican and they got a long just fine. When they decided to move from dating to relationship Sam was selective about whom he told. Naturally his siblings knew and his mother. He told some friends. But not Josh and definitely not his co-workers. She was a Republican and he just felt they wouldn't understand. But soon enough the secret came out.

Ainsley ended up being chosen to serve as Special White House Counsel. Sam was surprised to see her there. She was not welcomed by the majority of the staffers. She was seen as an outsider (which she was) butting into everyone's business (which was also true, but It was her job). To make matters worse, Sam defended her when the dirty looks followed her around the bullpen and after entering or leaving the room. Josh didn't think much about it when people accused Sam of "sleeping with the enemy". He just figured that Sam was in a dating phase. Nothing to it or so he thought.

* * *

Peppermint Sticks…

Josh's love life was non-existent at this point in his life. It wasn't for lack of trying. He did ask women out and a few men. Didn't get much response. Not much was happening at all for him. While doing some grocery shopping he bumped into someone he hadn't seen in a while.

"Josh?" Josh looked up from his cart.

"Ben? Hey, long time no see man. How are you?" They hugged each other.

"I'm good. Back in town for a few months."

"FBI still sending you everywhere huh?"

"You know it. How are things with you?"

"Oh you know, work at the White House that's about it."

"Slow single life huh?" Josh sheepishly nodded. "You know, you should come by tomorrow night. I'll cook and we can catch up." Josh thought a minute.

"Are you still in the same place?"

"Yeah, just come by when you're done, ok?"

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Looking forward to it."

All day Friday Josh left himself rushing through everything he had on his agenda because he was so excited to catch up with Ben. Ben was a special FBI Agent who traveled to make sure that FBI centers in other cities were compliant. He would be gone two to three months at a time. Sometimes he would spend that much time in one city. Neither of them had really spoken with each other since before he started the campaign. Ben had personally done the background checks on everyone who was going to work for Hoynes, which included Josh.

Finally, Josh was at a point that he could leave for the day. He rushed home to change and head out to Ben's house. It had been quite a while since he had been here too; he almost forgot how to get there. As he rang the bell, the thought hit him that he didn't ask Ben if he needed to bring anything. Ben opened the door and the scent of steak grilling on an indoor grill grabbed his nose.

"Hey I see you remembered how to get here. Come on in."

"Thanks. I forgot to ask if I needed to bring anything."

"Josh, I was in the grocery store; I've got it covered."

"Smells great by the way."

"Thank you. Haven't had a decent steak in a while so I thought it might be good."

"Great; anything I can do to help?"

"Set the table. Dishes are here." Ben said pointing to the cabinet. Josh took out dishes and began to set the dining room table. Ben set out a couple of beers when he placed the salad on the table. Josh took a swig of his then Ben brought out steaks, mashed potatoes and green beans. "Oops almost forgot the garlic bread." Josh sat down and Ben returned.

"Man, I never thought how much homemade mashed potatoes meant to me until I could get any on the campaign trail." Ben laughed.

"Well, I hope these don't disappoint."

They spent the next couple of hours eating, drinking and catching up. Josh told him all about his time on the campaign trail, minus his relationship with Sam. He wasn't ready to share that yet. They talked about what it was like working in the White House, the events at Rosslyn and politics in general. They had put the dishes in the dishwasher and Josh was leaning against the counter draining the last of his beer. Ben looked at him and smiled.

"So…" Ben said.

"So… what?" Josh asked as Ben's 6'2 frame stepped closer to him until he was standing right in front of him.

"So… what is the name of the man who broke your heart?" Josh shook his head.

"There's no man."

"I know there's no man right _now_," he whispered as he ran his finger gently up Josh's arm. "But there was one. One that made quite an impact on you."

"H…how can you tell?"Ben brought his face closer to Josh's.

"I can see it in your eyes. You're hurting." He shook his head.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Bullshit." Ben replied as he gently kissed Josh's lips. It had been so long since Josh had kissed anyone, let alone a man. Josh leaned into the kiss and it became passionate. Tongues touched and a soft moan floated up from Josh's throat. They kissed until the need for air broke them part. "That's the kiss of a man who's missing someone, horribly."

"There's no one."

"You don't want to tell me?"

"Can I tell you later?" Josh whispered as he kissed Ben again. Ben kissed back and his kisses travelled down Josh's chin, to his cheek and eventually the right side of his neck. Ben's hand found its way under Josh's shirt, making gentle circles on his stomach. "Mmmm…my god…"was his breathless response. Ben stopped the kisses. Josh opened his eyes. "Wh...What's wrong? Why'd you stop?"

"I want to know what's going on. You know that's part of our rules." Josh sighed and hung his head.

"Come on, tell me who he was."

"He didn't break my heart, I broke his. And it was Sam." Ben's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"_**Sam?**_ You were in a relationship with _Sam_?"

"Yes. Can we talk about it later, please?" Josh asked, tugging in Ben's shirt.

"Yeah," Ben whispered as he took Josh's hand and pulled him towards his bedroom.

Ben pulled Josh closer to him, kissing him more passionately, putting his hands under his t-shirt, breaking free for a few seconds to pull it over his head. Josh walked backwards as Ben continued the kisses until his back was against the wall. His hands surround Ben's head and he could feel the low hair cut underneath his fingers as Ben's lips moved down toward his chest.

"Mmmm…" was all Josh could manage to say. His fingers fumbled to unbutton Ben's shirt and he pushed it off so it fell to the floor. Then he attacked Ben's neck with kisses. Ben kicked off his house shoes and Josh toed off his own.

"Tell me what you want…" Ben whispered.

"…I don't know…I don't care…just…" Josh covered Ben's mouth with his, not really wanting to speak. Josh could feel Ben's impending hardness against his thigh. "…wanna… feel you…" Ben took Josh's hand and slipped it between his legs, rubbing his man hood. He then slipped his own hand between Josh's legs to gently feel and caress him.

"Is that what you want? Hmmm?"

"Want you inside…_please?"_ Ben pulled Josh closer to the bed and sat down. He unbuttoned Josh's jeans and slid them down his hips along with his underwear. He kissed his way down to the tip of his penis and gently began to suck. Josh's hand once again surrounded Ben's head as he thrusts his hips. Ben pulled him onto the bed, lightly spanking him before he removed his own pants. Josh whimpered at the sensation. Before lying on the bed next to Josh, Ben grabbed some lubricant and a few condoms from his dresser.

Once he was on the bed, Josh gently pushed him on his back and began to suck Ben to help him get harder. Ben relished the soft curls of Josh's hair under his hands; it would probably be the last time he felt them. He moaned with pleasure but made Josh stop before he came. Kissing again, he could taste himself on Josh's tongue. As they kissed, he tenderly began to prepare Josh with the lube.

Josh hissed at the intrusion of Ben's middle finger because it had been a while since he'd had sex. But Ben knew how to make it feel good for Josh; he always did. Josh was completely on his stomach, legs spread apart a little and fisting the comforter. Josh was near orgasm by the time Ben was done, but he held back because of what he needed. Ben rolled the condom on himself and lubed it a little. As he placed kisses down Josh's back, he asked one question.

"Do you remember our safety word?"

"Yes," Josh replied. "Ben, if I call out his na-"

"You know I won't be offended." Josh nodded and pulled himself on his knees. Ben kneeled behind him, gently stroking the crack of Josh's butt cheeks, steadying himself for first entry. When he did enter, Josh winced in pain. Ben had a much larger, thicker penis than Sam did. Ben waited until Josh was ready for him to move and he did gentle, slow long strokes at first. It had probably been five years they had done anything together. But when they were a couple, they were like sex machines. Couldn't get enough of each other. They had to get used to the other's body again. If only for one night.

"More…faster." Josh whispered. Ben dug in further and faster, hitting Josh's spot quicker than he intended. But they weren't there to make love. This friends-with-benefits relationship served them just right when they needed it. This was usually when they were lonely and not in relationships.

It surprised Ben how fast he felt the heat start in his loins. He was so aroused that it wouldn't take long for him to come. It didn't sound like it would take Josh long either. Josh managed to lean back on his knees so Ben's chest was touching his back. Ben reached his left arm around to play with Josh's penis as he held him still with his right. He couldn't see Josh's face but he could tell that this is just what he needed. As he stroked Josh from the front and behind, he heard him whisper something he couldn't quite make out.

The soft sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room along with Josh's whispers.

"..Sam…" was what Ben finally made out. Kissing the back of Josh's neck seemed to bring him closer to the edge. Ben stroked his penis faster and faster. Josh was moaning loudly and his body began to jerk. Tears were now rolling down his face. They came together but Josh still had more to give so Ben continued stroking his penis. Josh was crying and Ben slowed down as if he was going to stop but Josh wanted more. But soon Josh couldn't take anymore.

"Pepper…mint sti…pe...peppermint sticks." He managed to say between sobs. "Peppermint sticks." Josh finally released in Ben's hand and leaned forward. His body shook with sobs as his head touched the bed. Ben tenderly slid out of Josh and Josh lay down on his side. Josh was curled in the fetal position, crying for Sam, whispering his name and telling him how much he loved and missed him. Ben didn't say anything; he just went about cleaning up. He was pretty sure that Josh didn't feel the warm washcloth wiping him off. Ben was right; Josh was hurting. But he began to wonder just how long he had been hurting.

* * *

Dreams…

Ainsley was returning to her bed after a middle of the night trip to the bathroom. She was about to get back under the covers with her boyfriend Sam when she heard him say something.

"Josh, don't leave me." She froze. She wasn't sure if she really heard what she heard. Sam had never talked in his sleep before. "Please…don't leave me…,"he whispered. She wondered if she should wake him up. "Love you…," he said voice trailing off. He looked so peaceful except for the tears that had pooled around his eyes. She stepped back from the bed, tears forming in her own eyes. She grabbed her robe and walked into her living room.

She sat in her favorite armchair; knees under her chin, crying. She knew that Sam was bisexual and that he had been in a relationship with Josh. However, she thought that was all behind him. But tonight she saw a different story. If his subconscious and his dreams felt that way, what would he say if asked straight out? Some part of Sam was still in love with Josh.

An hour later found her still sitting in the chair. Sam shuffled into the living room and Ainsley's heart nearly stopped; she wasn't prepared to confront him yet.

"I woke up sweating and I realized I had all the blankets on me. I'm sorry if I was a cover hog." It took her a minute to answer.

"You weren't." She said trying to hide her tears.

"Ainsley, you're crying. Is everything ok?" He sat on the couch closest to the chair. She shook her head. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"Do you always talk in your sleep?" Sam looked confused.

"I've been told I do, usually after the fact. No one has woken me up while I was doing it. Why, was I reciting the speech I'm writing?"

"No. I wish."

"You're scaring me. What did I say?" She looked Sam and decided to ask him. She needed to know.

"Are you still in love with Josh?"

"**What?** What would make you ask me that?"

"Because…because of what you said."

"Ainsley, what did I _say_?" She took a deep breath.

"You asked Josh not to leave you; actually it was more like begging him not to leave you. Then…"

"Then what?"  
"You told him you loved him." Sam looked away from her. "Look at me Sam and tell me you don't still have feelings for Josh." Sam looked at her, and tried to speak but couldn't. "Sam?"

"I wish I could tell you I don't. Some part of me will always love him. He was my best friend for so long and we were in a long relationship until the end and…I just wish I could say there were no feelings for him."

"So what about us?" She asked tears, streaming more down her face. "Do you feel anything for _me_, for _us_?"

"Yes I do."

"How can I be sure after what I just heard?"

"I don't know what to tell you Ainsley. I'm here in a relationship with you. Josh made it very clear there could be no more of the two of us."

"But if he asked you to, would you take him back?" Sam was silent. He had asked himself this question before and he never gave himself a good answer. There was something Josh would have to do first, but he didn't know if Josh would do it.

"I don't know."

* * *

Josh's revelation…

Josh woke up to the sound of saxophone music. Grover Washington, Jr. to be exact, Ben's favorite sax player. He looked down and saw that he had been cleaned up and covered with a blanket. His eyes felt puffy and nose stuffy. He couldn't tell how long he had been asleep. Looking to his left, he saw Ben reading a book.

"What time is it?" Ben looked at the clock.

"After midnight."

"Why'd you let me sleep like that?"

"You obviously needed that release." Ben took the stereo remote and turned the music down some more. "I've never seen you so hurt before." Josh sat up, too quickly for his head and swooned a little.

"Whoa."

"Just stay there. You've been through too much for me to let you drive home. There's some water on the nightstand if you need it." Josh could see that he was wearing a pair of Ben's sweatpants; they were way too long on his legs. "Do you think you need any aspirin?"

"Couldn't hurt," Josh replied as he took a few sips of water. The tall musclar black man got up from his side of the bed, headed to the bathroom and returned with two Tylenol in his hand. "Thanks."

"Did you need anything to eat?"

"Not yet."

"Ok. You're welcome to my cheese, fruit and crackers here if you want. Now," he said sitting back down on the bed, "are you ready to tell me what happened between you and Sam?"

"I guess no better time like the present."

"How did you two even get together? 'Cause if you had asked me I never would have thought the two of you could do it."  
"We didn't either at first. After he joined the campaign trail, we would hear people talking about us as if we were a couple. It all started when Sam wrote me some love poetry, but he didn't sign his name to it so I had to try to figure out who it was. When I did I wrote back."

"Leave it to Sam to be romantic."

"Yeah. The poetry was absolutely beautiful. And discovering what we truly felt for each other was beautiful too. We just never expected to love each other as deeply as we do. Did; as deeply as we did."

"So what happened?"

"I had been hearing rumors and gossip letting me know that there were some people who knew about us and it didn't sit well with me. We had been through Rosslyn, still healing and I couldn't let us go through that again. It hurt to know that someone would hurt Charlie because he loved Zoey. And when Sam suggested that we move in together I…I guess I panicked. I couldn't risk anyone being hurt."

"Surely Sam would understand that." Josh shrugged as he grabbed a few grapes form the plate.

"He would have if I had talked to him about it. But I never told him I thought there was a threat. Then I didn't give him an answer right away. Things were falling apart between us personally and professionally. We were called into the President's office and everything came to a head there. I broke up with him in the Oval Office."

"What? Josh you _didn't_?"

"Yeah, I did. I was a real asshole to him Ben. I didn't try to explain in depth or anything, just asked for my keys back, gave him his and left for my meeting."

"Wow. I'm speechless at that. That's asshole behavior for sure. Never thought I'd see you be that way with someone you love."

"Neither did I. And I promised him _and_ Lisa that I wouldn't break his heart. I broke that promise."

"Maybe it's not too late to fix things. Call and talk to him, explain everything. From what I remember Sam's a rational man; he'll listen to you." Josh shook his head.

"He's moved on and in a relationship with someone else." Ben gave him a confused look.

"Just how long have you guys been _apart_?"

"A little over a year?"

"What? **A year?** Josh…I don't…well is he in love with this person?"

"Ainsley? I don't know, maybe." Ben sighed.

"So what did he say when you apologized to him?" Josh stayed silent. "Josh, you did apologize didn't you?"

"I think I did. I'm sure I did."

"You're not sure? Josh, I'd think you would remember him accepting your apology." Josh sat quietly thinking and eating a piece of cheese and a cracker.

"No, I must have." His brain was a little fuzzy from the beers and the sex but he racked his brain, trying to remember. "Oh. My. God. I _never_ apologized. I never apologized to Sam. **How could I be so stupid?** I just…I can't believe I didn't apologize."

"Maybe you still can, even if he is in a relationship. It might help save the friendship."

"Do you think he'll listen? I mean, I really really broke his heart."

"It's worth a try Josh. Sleep on it, think about it. Get a plan together and pick a date to do it."

* * *

Monday morning…

"Sam, can I have a minute when you get a minute?" CJ asked.

"I'm free now, what's up?" CJ motioned for him to come to her office. She rummaged through her messages as she sat down then picked up one that was already sitting on her desk.

"Do you know a Benjamin Newton?"

"Yea, he's an ex of Josh's. Why?"

"Would Josh go to him if he was in trouble or something?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Why?"

"I have a report from the Secret Service that he spent the night there. Now I don't know if they are watching Ben or Josh. I also don't know why they are cluing me in but hey I'm gonna roll with it until I know something different."

"I do know in the past that they have had a friends-with-benefits type of relationship, you know when they're in between relationships. Maybe that's what it was."

"Sex?" Sam shrugged. "Well, I have a number to call and confirm. Care to listen in?"

"Sure." CJ dialed the number and waited for Ben to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Am I speaking with Special Agent Benjamin R. Newton?"

"Speaking."

"Agent Newton this is Press Secretary CJ Cregg, how are you?"

"Just fine ma'am. And you?"

"Good. Agent Newton I'm following up on a report from Secret Service surveillance that I received this morning. Can you confirm that Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua A. Lyman spent the night at your house Friday?"

"Yes he did."

"Can you tell me the circumstances?"

"We bumped into each other at the grocery store and we hadn't seen each other in a while. I invited him to dinner to catch up. We had quite a few beers and he was too inebriated to drive home so I had him spend the night."

"That's all?"

"That's all ma'am."

"Thank you Agent." CJ hung up the phone. "Well, he spent the night. He didn't confirm they had sex."

"I didn't think he would. But I know they probably did."

"Does that upset you?"

"No, we're not together anymore remember?"

* * *

Say Hello to the Assassin…

Donna was sitting quietly at her desk, tying to get a few moments peace so her headache would go away. But she was having no such luck. The phone was constantly ringing. Then the front guards called back and said that Josh had a visitor. So now, Donna had to let go of whatever chance she had of getting rid of her headache to escort the visitor back to the bullpen area. What a day.

"This is Ms. Moss, Mr. Lyman's Assistant, she'll escort you back."

"Thank you." The woman said.

"Good afternoon. I'm Donna. Josh is in a meeting right now but he should be out in about fifteen minutes or so."

"That's good. I'll wait."

"Follow me please." The woman followed Donna down the hall way and back to their area. "This is Josh's office, if you'd like to wait here."

"Thank you."

"Uh, they didn't give me your name. Whom may I say visiting?" The woman looked at her and simply said:

"The Assassin." Donna gave a worried look, closed the door and almost ran to where Josh's meeting was. She hated interrupting, but she felt she needed to.

"Donna, I have a few more minutes here."

"I know and I apologize for interrupting but I needed to brief you on your visitor."

"I have a visitor? Who is it?"

"She said to tell you she was 'The Assassin'." Everyone looked at Josh.

"The Assassin?" He asked.

"Did I need to send some agents over?" Leo asked. Josh thought a moment as he gathered his things.

"No, I think I know who it is. But just as a precaution, Donna, if I'm not out in an hour come in and tell me I have to go to the thing, wherever the thing is. You'll think of something. OK?"

"If you say so."

Josh took a deep breath then opened the door to his office. The brunette who had been sitting in his chair, swung around to face him.

"Ah, Lisa. I thought it might be you. The Assassin, that's cute. Leo was ready to send the cavalry over here to protect me."

"And would have been right to."

"I know you don't have a weapon on you because you wouldn't have made it into the building."

"Not one that you can see anyway." Josh took a step back but was stopped by his office door and laughed nervously.

"You're kidding me right?"

"Maybe." She said getting up from his desk. "Here, take your chair back." As she sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk, he eyed her suspiciously.

"Why are you here?"

"Do you remember what you promised me before you left on the train that night?"

"Yes…."

"Do you remember what I said I would do?" Josh swallowed hard and he started to take a sip out of his water bottle that he'd left on his desk. He looked at it, looked at her and but the bottle down. "Relax; I didn't put anything in your water. Although it would have been a great opportunity to do so."

"So you're really here to kill me?"

"I should. Josh, how could you? I gave you and Sam my blessing only to find out that the two of you are no longer together. _What in the hell happened?_"

"It was all my fault Lisa."

"I figured as much."

"You hear about what happened at Rosslyn? Well, I had been hearing things that people knew we were a couple and I didn't tell Sam. I just didn't want anything to happen to him or anyone else. And when he suggested that we move in together, I basically gave him the silent treatment for three weeks then broke up with him in the Oval Office." Lisa was stunned.

"In front of the _**President**_?"

"Yeah, he had actually called us into the office because people were noticing changes between us. Everything just came up and out. I was wrong, I know I was wrong."

"You're damn right! You trusted Sam with everything else and you couldn't talk to him about _this_? Why?"

"I just couldn't. I didn't' want him to worry Lisa. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I had to sacrifice our relationship to keep us safe."

"Was there a threat?"

"Actually there was. A reporter had been receiving pictures but didn't know where they came from. He hasn't said if he's gotten any new ones, but you never know. How did you find out that we broke up?"

"I'm writing for Vogue Magazine now. I've been in and out of the country for the better part of a year. They were talking about interviewing fashionable women lawyers. Ainsley Haynes name came up. Someone mentioned that I might want to interview her boyfriend Sam Seaborn, a lawyer who works for the White House as well."

"Oh." Josh said.

"Ainsley? What kind of name is that? And she's blonde and a _Republican_. A _**Republican**_ Josh?"

"I know, I know."

"Do you think he really loves her?"

"I don't know. I guess so."

"Joshua, have-"

"Please don't use that form of my name. Only my mother does that."

"Maybe I need to punish you like a mother would. Joshua, have you ever known Sam to lie?"

"No. In fact I think he's incapable of it."

"Well, have you ever known him to lie to himself?"

"I don't understand."

"Do you think Sam would ever lie to himself to stay in a relationship with someone else?"

"I don't know."

"I saw his eyes when he told me about you and how you felt about each other. I believe he really and truly loves you more than himself. However, he won't admit it now. Only you can fix this Josh."

"I know, in time I will."

"You_ better_. I expect nothing less."

* * *

Fixing it…

Josh thought about what he needed to do to fix things between him and Sam. And he agreed with Ben that the relationship might not be salvageable, the friendship most definitely was. He drove around D.C. one very cold Saturday that they were off. He finally had the courage and words to say to see Sam. After driving to his building Josh hated that he had asked for the keys back. It was beginning to rain and since he no longer had access to the garage, he had to park on the street. The closest spot was about a three-minute walk. Were it just cold it would have been fine but it was cold and raining and didn't have an umbrella.

He walked into the building and over to the intercom phone in the lobby, dripping wet to call Sam's apartment.

"Three G?" came Sam's voice over the phone.

"Hey Sam, its Josh. Are you busy? I need to come up and talk to you." Sam was quiet on the other end. "It won't take long; I promise."

"Come on up." Josh hung up the house phone and Sam buzzed him in the door. Once Josh stepped onto the third floor, butterflies filled his stomach. Saying he was nervous was an understatement. He rang the bell and Sam answered promptly.

"Hey." Josh said. "Can I come in?" Sam stepped aside so Josh could enter.

"You're soaked! Is it raining?"

"Yeah, I thought it was going to be later this evening, but no."

"Give me your coat." Josh took it off and Sam hung it on the coat rack. "You hardly wear gloves so hands are probably cold. You want coffee or hot chocolate?"

"Coffee's good if you have some made."

"Always." Sam disappeared into the kitchen and Josh sat down on the couch, making himself at home. Well, it used to be half his home.

"What have you been up to today?"

"Laundry." Sam replied. "It's weird no body was in the laundry room today. Had my pick of washers and dryers."

"That's rare with all the people in this building."

"I know." Sam said returning to the living room with a cup of coffee for both of them. Sam sat next to him. Josh let the hot liquid warm his hands and a few sips warm his insides.

"You changed brands. This is pretty good."

"I saw a commercial for one and I thought I'd try it. It's not bad."

"No, not bad at all."

"So what brings you out on this cold dreary day?"

"You actually."

"Me?"

"Uh…yea. I need to do something that I thought I did but I didn't."

"You're loosing me."

"I came to apologize to you Sam." He said setting down his cup.

"Apologize for what?"

"For breaking your heart. I made a promise to you that I never would break it and I thought I was keeping you safe. I should have talked about my suspicions with you because you were my partner and best friend; we weren't supposed to keep things from each other. Ever. And I did. I'm so sorry Sam." Sam was shocked. Josh did the one thing he never expected him to do.

"Josh, I…I don't know what to say."

"I also am sorry that I was an asshole to you. I never should have been. You loved me with all your heart, gave me all of you and I literally treated you like shit for three weeks." Tears came to Josh's eyes. "You have been the sweetest person to me and you didn't deserve that."

"Josh…" Sam's voice trailed off because he was chocking back tears himself.

"I'm also sorry for not apologizing sooner. After talking with Ben, I thought that I had at least said I was sorry but I realized that I hadn't. I never should have gone this long with out telling you how I sorry I was. And I'm so-" Sam grabbed Josh's hands, tears streaming down both their faces.

"Josh, stop apologizing."

"Sam I have to; I have to make amends for what I did. I hadn't even cried about us until that night with Ben. _Almost a year and I hadn't cried about __**us**_. What kind of lover and partner does that make me? Huh? I didn't even cry at the fact that _I had broken your heart_! Or the fact that I was hurting too."

"Oh Josh…" Sam said trying to wipe Josh's tears away.

"No, Sam. I know I'm late and I _have_ to try and fix this. My actions led you to the arms of someone else when I could have prevented it and then fixed it before it was too late. _**I love you**_. I never _**stopped**_ loving you. I tried dating other people but I couldn't. I just….couldn't picture myself without you. I am miserable without you. I don't smile anymore because I don't have a reason to smile. I don't laugh much; I don't have any happiness in my life because you're happy with someone else." Sam took Josh's head in his hands and kissed his forehead in an attempt to quiet him down.

"It may not be happiness much longer."

"Why not?"Josh was trying not to sound too excited and show more concern.

"Ainsley said I talk in my sleep and I was begging you not to leave me. And that I told you I loved you." Josh's eyes widened at those words.

"You still love me? You mean you don't… hate me?"

"Baby, I couldn't hate you forever. I love you too much for that."

"I don't understand; I treated you so badly."

"I know and for a while I did hate you and I didn't want to hear your name or anything associated with you. I eventually realized that you were hurting too but didn't want me to know you were. So I got over my anger because I couldn't be mad at you and work with you or be in a relationship with someone else."

"I can't believe you still love me."

"Ainsley asked me if I would ever take you back, if you asked." Josh felt a little hope in his heart.

"Would you?"

"I told her there was something you would have to do but that I didn't think you would."

"Which was?"

"Apologize. I never thought you would apologize to me." Sam's tears choked his words. "I thought you didn't think I was worthy of an apology. That you didn't care enough."

"Oh Sam, I am so _sorry_ I had you thinking that. God I have messed up so bad."

"But you apologized and I can see how serious you are in your eyes and I can feel it in your soul. You apologized. And I accept your apology. _**I forgive you Josh**_."

"What?" Josh couldn't believe his ears. "You forgive me for…"

"Everything, I forgive you for everything." Sam pulled Josh into his arms.

"Oh my God Sam I never expected this when I came over here! I never…" They held each other tightly, bodies shaking from their tears. Josh felt like he needed to look deep in Sam's blue eyes to know the truth. Sam wasn't lying; Josh could feel that he had been forgiven. Sam leaned forward and gently kissed Josh. Josh kissed back and they kissed until they needed to breathe.

"_**I love you.**_" Sam said.

"_**I love you too.**_ I can't believe that we made it to this point. Now what?"

"I need a little time, you know with Ainsley and to myself."

"Please take all the time you need. Let me know when you're ready."

"I will, I promise I will."

* * *

Josh and Sam…

Since the day of Josh's apology, things immediately improved between the two. The friendship seemed like it came back over night. Sam needed some time to talk with Ainsley, to tell her what had happened. She knew Sam still had feelings for him and now that Josh was forgiven, she knew there could be no more them. They parted as friends, even though she was broken hearted. But Ainsley knew after their conversation that night that she would probably lose Sam. She made a deal with herself not to date another bisexual man; it was too much for her to deal with.

Josh waited patiently for Sam to come to him. Everyone in the White House and whomever worked with them immediately realized there was a change. The week after the reconciliation baffled the Senior Staff. No one knew what hit them. Meetings were filled with plenty of Josh and Sam banter. Annoying as it could be at times, it was greatly missed.

It was a cold Friday night and Josh had only been home about twenty minutes when he heard the doorbell. He wasn't expecting anyone. When he opened the door, there was Sam standing on the stoop in what appeared to be the beginnings of snow.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I have dinner. Our favorites from the China Palace and beer and sodas."

"Food is _always_ welcome at this house." Sam entered and Josh took the food into the dining room so Sam could take off his coat. Sam was rubbing his hands together. "I see you didn't wear your gloves either huh?" he asked referring to the day he came to Sam's apartment.

"You know I don't like to wear them while driving." Josh had gone into the kitchen to get plates and glasses.

"You should buy some driving gloves."

"But they're made of leather. They don't keep your hands warm, they just help you steer the wheel better."

"But still…"

"Nah, I like my warm gloves, just not while I'm driving. That's what the heater is for."

"Well, I appreciate you driving in the near snow to bring dinner. What's the occasion?" Sam turned Josh towards him and held his hands.

"Time's up."

"Huh?"

"I'm ready."

"Ready for…?"

"Ready to be us again, _in love again_. I'm ready to love again."

"You sure?" Josh asked.

"Yes. I've taken all the time I need and I'm ready. I'm more than ready." Sam said as he leaned forward to kiss Josh. "I love you."

"I love you." Josh replied smiling the biggest smile he ever could. "So you know what his means don't you?"

"What?"

"New anniversary date. What's today's date?"

"March 6th."

"Ok, March 6th it is."

* * *

Santa Ana, CA

"The card is from Ainsley."

"_Really?"_ Josh asked. "She's never sent us a card before has she?"

"Not that I can remember. That's nice of her."

"It is nice of her. Completely unexpected. It's not as if she had trouble finding us."

"Maybe she just has something she wanted to say to us. Anyway we'll read it when you get here."

"Any others arrive yet?"

"One from your mom, but no others yet."

"Cool. So tell me more about your day handsome."

"Well…"

* * *

**A/N2:** Well, there we go. The complete past of Josh and Sam. This chapter was less than 8,000 words. Can't win them all huh? Hope you enjoyed it. You are now one step closer to the anniversary weekend.


	15. The Conversation

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

2. I don't own any name brand products mentioned.

**Warning:** This fic contains slash, a male/male romance. But this is chapter 14 and you should know that by now.

**A/N:** This is more of a filler chapter. Those of you who read my works know I don't usually do that. It's just a little transition. It does start the anniversary weekend, as promised. To show you  
I'm serious here are the next few chapter titles (See, I have been working on them): 14. The Conversation (this one), 15. It's in the Morning, 16. Do You Remember?, 17. Happy Anniversary!, 18. Secrets Revealed. That's the next five.

Special S/O to **lillygirl123,** who left me an awesome review. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

If you are on Twitter you can follow me (at symbol) **sissouthernink**. I do follow back and I do promise to tweet more from that account, as it is not my main one.

14. The Conversation

Sam and his crew (a handful of interns, staffers and assistants) were about to be on their way back from a special luncheon that he had given a speech to a senior citizens' group. One of the drivers had a family emergency and had to leave early. This left only two cars instead of the three they had taken to the banquet hall. Sam didn't see a problem with it because he always requested a car to himself so he could gather his thoughts and completely concentrate on the task before him. And since he took a good chunk of the office with him, they rode in the other cars. Josh often called Sam a "don" when it came to this. Don meaning a male form of a diva. Sam justified it by paying for his own car and not expensing it to the taxpayers. Today there was dissention among the ranks. There were two interns who didn't get along with the others and they all refused to ride back together in the same car. No one was telling Sam why they didn't get along.

"I don't get it. There's plenty of room for all of you. It's just a car ride. You don't have to talk to each other. Grow up and let's get back to the office." Sam said.

"Sir, I can't ride back with them; I refuse to." Dylan said.

"_Refuse?_ So, what you're going to walk back to the office?"

"Um, no sir. We thought we could ride back with you." Candice said. Sam laughed.

"I don't know why you would think that. I have a private car for a reason. Your transportation has been provided." Just then, Sam's phone rang. "Here's one reason I have a private car so I can make private calls." None of them knew who was calling, but by the ringtone Sam had assigned to the number, he knew it was Josh. "Hi, Honey," he said as he answered.

"Hey lover boy what's going on?" Sam turned to look as his interns and employees.

"I'm arguing with my staff about the car ride back. One car had to leave and they don't want to ride together."

"Oh, I see. Well, I say let them ride with you."

"But this is our private time to talk; I don't need them in our conversation."

"It'll be the last time they do." Josh said.

"Oh you're evil!" Sam replied, "But so right." He took a deep breath. "Come on, we have to get back to the office." Five of them immediately jumped into Sam's limo, almost not leaving space for him, and they were on their way back to the office.

"Everyone settled?" Josh asked.

"Yes."

"How many are there?"

"Five."

"Hmm…" Josh thought. "Let's make this really interesting."

"How?"

"Talk about sex, what else?" Sam laughed. "You're laughing. I'm serious. Say the first thing that comes to mind."

"What kind of game is this?" Sam asked. Dylan's brow creased, as he listened, already regretting his decision.

"Just do it Sam."

"Ok, let's go."

"Uh, comfortable?"

"Bed."

"Good one. Love?"

"That's an easy one, you."

"I love you for that. Let's see…bananas."

"Hmmm, blow jobs." Sam's passengers immediately looked up from their BlackBerrys and iPhones in shock, wide eyed and…almost scared. Josh was laughing in his ear.

"What made you think of that?"

"You. And you are so good at them. You leave me literally breathless, cumming fast and hard." Sam smiled, intentionally not looking at his staff.

"Now who's evil?" Josh asked.

"Is there anything special I need to get for this weekend? I'm going shopping tonight."

"Nope. Oh, maybe some whipped cream." Josh said.

"Whipped cream...hmmm, wonder what _**that**_ could be for?" They both laughed as Sam's staff looked at their watches, wondering how much longer until they reached the office. "Oh, have you seen the commercials for that new KY stuff? The his and hers?" Candice whispered "Oh God no" at Sam's question.

"Yes, I have. It looks pretty interesting. Do you think it works as much as the ad says?"

"I hope so. I'm gonna buy some; I guess we'll have fund finding out won't we?"

"Yes we will."

"And I'm gonna see if I can find those condoms you saw in that article."

"Don't worry Sam; I've got the condoms covered."

"How sweet of you baby." Sam cooed. It irritated his staffers to no end. "I can not **wait** to see your lovely face at the airport tomorrow. I'm so excited I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"Me too babe."

Josh and Sam continued their sweet little small talk for another thirty minutes or so, until the cars arrived back at the office. The staff couldn't get out of Sam's limo fast enough! Sam said his good-byes to Josh for the time being. In an hour, Josh would be headed to his dinner meeting. Before Sam let everyone get back to work, he gathered them in the front of the office. Ginger was a little confused.

"Sam, what's going on?"

"I need to have a serious talk with everyone right now. Can you switch the phones to voicemail for a few minutes?"

"Sure." She replied and set the phones.

"Ok everybody, I need to say something and I never thought I'd have to do this. This office and this staff have always been kind and courteous to each other. I don't know what's going on but it needs to stop. **Now**. I've been elected to do a job and I've chosen the people who I thought could help me do this job. However, we can't be effective if we can't get along. What I saw today was ridiculous! You guys were really complaining about riding in the car with each other? _Really_?" He looked around at everyone. "There is a reason that I have a private car. I need to concentrate on what I'm doing before hand and as the five of you witnessed; I often make private phone calls afterward. I pay for my own separate car. I pay for it, not the taxpayers. **I do**. I don't know what you don't like about each other and frankly, I don't care. I just don't need it to interfere with what goes on in this office or when we are out representing this office. Everything I do reflects on you and vice versa. Everybody got it?" Sam heard several "yeahs" and saw nodding heads. "Good. I don't want to have this talk again."

Four hours ahead in Washington, Josh was sitting down waiting for everyone to join him in the conference room for their dinner meeting. He couldn't remember whose turn it was to order dinner, but he hoped it wasn't Hugh's. He always ordered burgers and fries from this dive a few blocks over. It would be safe to say that this place would not be on D.C.'s favorite places to eat list. Five minutes later, all parties were present. Twenty minutes later the meeting was done. Josh was shocked; he was prepared to stay for a while, ready to hear them fight it out. But not tonight. As he finished up in the office, a thought crossed his mind. He had nothing to do. He was just going to go home and do nothing. He was already packed, nothing to do now but get on the plane. Except, his flight was the next morning.

"I wonder…." He thought aloud to himself. As he walked into his town house, he made a trip to the bathroom. Then he called for a cab. The destination: the airport.

While walking up to the ticket counter he was trying to look at the boards to see flight information but he was walking too fast to see them.

"Hi, how can I help you?"

"I'm Joshua Lyman and I was wondering if it was possible to change my flight."

"Ok, may I see your ticket?" Josh handed it to her and she typed in his information. "When would you like to leave?"

"Tonight if possible. I know it's extremely short notice."

"Well, there's room on a flight that leaves in about an hour and a half. How does that sound?"

"Hour and a half? That's good. I'll take it. Anything that gets me closer to my sweetheart faster is fine with me." Fifteen minutes later Josh found himself headed through security and on his way to the far end of the airport. He managed to grab a few snacks from the gift shop before boarding, since there actually was no dinner at the dinner meeting.

Josh was given the window seat next to two older gentlemen. One with black hair that graying at the temples, the other a blond whose hair was turning white. He didn't mind; they looked like they might need to use the facilities before he did. He took out his phone and started to text Sam, to tell him he was on the way, something they always did when traveling. But he didn't want to ruin the surprise. The gentleman closest to him noticed.

"I don't mean to pry, but are you ok?" Josh looked up to meet the kind eyes of the dark haired man.

"Hmm? Oh yes, I'm fine. I was just about to text my uh…friend that I was on my way. But he doesn't know I'm coming tonight. I was supposed to leave tomorrow morning but…"

"But you couldn't wait to see him, am I right?" The gentleman replied. His companion looked over at Josh and smiled.

"Um…, yeah." Josh was always careful not to let his sexual preference known; he and Sam never knew whom they were meeting. However, he couldn't help but smile at his own response.

"We used to be the same way." The blond man said, patting the other man's knee. "I'm Clark and this is my husband Marc."

"I'm Josh." The three men shook hands. "Nice to meet you both."

"So how long have you and your boyfriend been together?"

"Twelve years on Friday. I'm flying in for our anniversary."

"How sweet!" Marc replied. "What's his name?"

"Sam." Josh showed them his phone's screensaver. It was picture of them from Christmas, standing in front of the Christmas tree.

"Hey, he looks familiar." Clark said. "Have I seen him on TV before?" Josh nodded.

"If you live in California 47th he's your Congressman." The men gasped in surprise.

"Wow, I didn't know he was gay." Marc replied in a hush tone because he could see the need for privacy in Josh's eyes. "Clark, our Congressman is gay."

"I see that honey. He's not out- out is he?"

"No, neither of us are out for our jobs. Family and friends, yes."

"You both worked for President Bartlet?" Josh nodded. "What about then?"

"We were out to him and senior staff. It's been quite a journey for us though. We've earned our twelve years."

"Have you thought about marriage?" Clark asked. "We got married when it was made legal in Boston."

"We've talked around it, but nothing concrete." Just then, the flight attendant made the take off announcement. The men shut off their phones and continued their conversation. Even though he was tired, Josh didn't see much harm in talking with them. After all, even a grown man needs advice from an older man from time to time.

After arriving at the airport, Josh grabbed his luggage and hailed a cab headed for Sam's house. He was so excited about surprising Sam that he smiled all the way there. He entered and the house everything was quiet.

"Sam?" He called out. He didn't hear anything. Then Josh remembered that Sam was going shopping. Josh hung his coat in the hall closet and headed upstairs to take a shower. The bedroom was so calm and serene. And so Californian, like Sam. It was always welcoming. Josh hopped in the shower and put on his pajamas. As he was unpacking, he heard the alarm system beep that a code had been used. He smiled because he knew it was his lover.

As he made his way to the stairs leading down into the family room, he heard music playing. Sam had turned on the stereo system. He was gently swaying to the music with his arms around him as if he were hugging himself. Sam didn't hear Josh enter the room. Josh stood there for a few minutes, listening to Sam hum along to Stevie Wonder's "Ribbon in the Sky".

"Oh, I wish it were tomorrow already. Josh would be here holding me instead of me holding myself." Josh walked closer to Sam, stood behind him and began to hum. "I can even hear him humming along." Josh could tell that Sam was smiling at the thought. Josh carefully slid his arms around Sam's and swayed with him. "My imagination is crazy, I can feel him here. Only if he were…"

"Well, I could go back to the airport, but since I'm here, showered and changed I'd like to stay."  
Josh whispered.

"What?" Sam asked. Then he felt a gentle kiss at the base of his neck and whipped around so fast to see his lover. "Josh?"

"Hey baby!"

"Josh! What are you doing _here_?" Sam hugged him nearly leaping into his arms. "I'm supposed to pick you up tomorrow."

"I know, I know." Josh replied as he hugged back. "But I wanted to go to sleep with you actually in my arms tonight, not trying to imagine you in them."

"Oh Josh." Sam looked as his boyfriend and kissed him hello. They kissed until they couldn't breathe. "I'm so happy you're here. I didn't know if I was going to be able to sleep tonight. Can't believe you're here." He said kissing Josh again. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

"I love you too baby."

"Are you hungry? How was your dinner meeting?"

"There was a meeting, but no dinner. So yea, I'm a little hungry."

"Come on, I'll make you a sandwich."

* * *

**A/N2:** I had to add BlackBerrys and iPhones to my MS Word dictionary. Interesting.


	16. It's in the Morning

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the following:**

1. The West Wing (the show or that part of the building).

2. I don't own any name brand products mentioned.

3. I don't own the song.

**Warning:** See intro.

**A/N:** This is one of my favorite songs by Robin Thicke. It also features Snoop Dogg. Truth be told, this scene has been in my head since the song came out but I had to wait for the right time in the story. And here it is! Lyrics are in _**bold italics**_. Oh and see if you can catch the interesting twist in this chapter. Whoever guesses correctly (and either writes a review with the answer or PMs me) will get a S/O at the beginning of chapter 16.

Chapter 15: It's in the Morning

Josh woke up with a warm human snuggie on the right side of his body. He smiled and was very glad that he decided to fly in the night before. However, his East Coast body always took at least a day to get used to his West Coast surroundings. The clock on the nightstand said 5 a.m. but his body was saying it was 8 a.m. At the moment, he wasn't sleepy. Josh carefully eased himself from under Sam's arm and headed towards the bathroom. Maybe a trip to the toilet would help him get back to sleep. While washing his hands and rinsing his mouth, Josh heard a shuffle at the door. It took him a second but he remembered that sometimes the slightest movement or sound could wake Sam up, when he wasn't exhausted. There he was, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, looking adorably cute. And as much as Sam hated to admit it, he always had sexy bed head, tussled just so. As Sam walked to the toilet, he gently patted Josh's butt and they laughed. When Sam was done, he joined Josh back in the bed.

Josh was lying in the middle of the bed, which he thought was always the best position for cuddling. He held the covers up and Sam crawled back in, lying right on top of Josh, greeting him with a kiss. Josh's arms enveloped Sam, gently caressing the small of his back. After a few moments of blissful kissing, Sam pushed himself up and straddled Josh, but leaned forward to keep kissing his boyfriend. He slipped his hands underneath Josh's t-shirt to play with his nipples, bringing them to full erectness with just a few strokes.

_**I'm in the mood for lovin'**_

_**We'll be touchin', we'll be huggin'**_

_**I'm in the mood for lovin'**_

_**We'll get it in too…**_

Josh loved the feel of Sam's hands, caressing his body. He sighed softly at the feeling. Sam's lips followed his hands, starting at Josh's stomach and working their way up. He managed to get his head stuck under Josh's shirt and they both laughed. Josh quickly removed his shirt giving Sam plenty of room to do whatever he wanted. Those warm lips brought quiet moans from Josh's throat and made him want to do the same thing to Sam.

_**Chorus**_

_**It's in the morning I wanna' touch**_

_**It's in the morning I wanna' love you**_

_**It's in the morning no interruptions**_

_**It's in the morning, sex in the morning**_

_**It's in the morning I wanna' touch**_

_**It's in the morning I wanna' love you**_

_**It's in the morning no interruptions**_

_**Sex in the morning, sex in the morning**_

Josh's hands found their way underneath Sam's shirt, tugging up as they went until the cloth gathered at Sam's neck. Sam eased out of it only to continue his task on Josh's left nipple. Their lips soon met again in passionate kisses with Sam sucking Josh's tongue, causing a tug on the internal strings attached to their penises. One set of hips lifted to meet the other, impending erections touched and rubbed, igniting a fire.

_**Verse **_

_**You know I love it first thing**_

_**Cuz you just let it marinate, let it marinate**_

_**I'll wait for you to open your eyes**_

_**Look at me and smile**_

_**You know what I want do**_

_**You slowly pull down the sheets to**_

_**Reveal what you keeping wide**_

_**I can't push sleeping anymore and you got the hottest body**_

_**I got the hottest hottie**_

_**Let me put some cream in your coffee**_

Both lovers whimpered at the sensations that move caused. Sam, hands shaking with want and desire pulled his boyfriend's pajama pants from his hips, throwing them and his boxers to the side. He immediately, but tenderly dove his head between Josh's legs, kissing the erect loveliness before his eyes. Josh's penis became a sweet treat for Sam as he licked each side and the tip with love. Josh could do nothing but throw back his head and buck his hips, trying to get more of Sam's mouth on him. The sensations were more than amazing. The moans were candy to Sam's ears. He slowly rimmed the tip because he knew Josh loved it when he did that. And as Sam took Josh wholly into his mouth, his lover gasped at the feeling moaning even more. After a few minutes, Sam stopped to kiss Josh, not wanting him to cum just yet. Josh could taste himself on Sam's tongue and mixed with Sam's kiss it was familiar and longed for.

_**It's in the morning I wanna' touch (yeah)**_

_**It's in the morning I wanna' love you (I wanna love you)**_

_**It's in the morning no interruption**_

_**It's in the morning, sex in the morning**_

_**It's in the morning I wanna' touch (I wanna' touch you)**_

_**It's in the morning I wanna' love you (I wanna' love you)**_

_**It's in the morning no interruptions (Ooo)**_

_**Sex in the morning, sex in the morning (sex in the morning)**_

As they kissed, Josh tried his best to pull down Sam's pj bottoms. Not the easiest thing to do when Sam was trying to grind his hips onto Josh's. But Josh managed to gently push Sam away, pulling down the pants to reveal those cute boy shorts Sam had taken to wearing lately; and in blue, Josh's favorite color. Josh did have to admit, he liked the way they looked on him. They were tight where Josh wanted them and loose where Sam needed them. And they held everything in such a sexy way. Sam could be an underwear model with those on. These shorts made his package damn irresistible! And Josh wanted it even more. There was a small wet spot from Sam's pre-cum and Josh couldn't help but nuzzle that heavenly looking package with his nose, kissing it hungrily. Listening to Sam whimper, wanting to whisper his name but not being able to. Josh pulled the sexy boy shorts down by the leg holes, caressing Sam's well toned buttocks as he leaned down to kiss Josh. Sam awkwardly stepped out of the shorts (by his knees since he was kneeling) and Josh's tongue went to work. He licked and played in the pre-cum beading on the head of Sam's penis. As he took him whole, Josh's fingers played and fingered at Sam's entrance. He wouldn't dare enter Sam dry, but the little he did do caused Sam to thrust his hips straight towards Josh's mouth. He patted Sam's bottom indicating that he wanted Sam to lie down. When he did, he felt the wrath of Josh's tongue, rimming that entrance. The low and sexy growl that came from Sam was intoxicating to Josh. One of Sam's hands was entangled in Josh's curly hair the other was stroking his hardness as he panted breathlessly. Josh's taste buds were on overload as they overwhelmed Sam's sensitive nerves there.

_**Snoop Dogg-**_

_**Spin this, bubble like a chemist**_

_**Baby said she want a menace, like Dennis**_

_**So I'm up in this, rack-et like a tennis**_

_**Don't interrupt me baby boo cuz I ain't finished**_

_**Real spending, feel how I'm getting it**_

_**Your girlfriends is jealous cuz Boss Dogg ain't hittin' it**_

_**Early in the morning making' breakfast in the kit-nen**_

_**After ya finished you bout to get the den-nen**_

Sam loved everything he felt; he didn't want Josh to stop. But he did stop him. Sam gently tugged on Josh's chin, indicating that he wanted him to stop. Josh looked confused, as if he'd done something wrong or gone too far. Sam lovingly stroked his cheek and smiled to let Josh know everything was ok. He sat up and intense blue eyes met more intense brown ones. And a smile. Sam pushed on Josh's chest showing him what he really wanted.

_**Robin- I'm in the mood for lovin' we'll get it in too, It's in the morning**_

As Josh lay back on the bed, it took him a second, but he got Sam's point. And he loved it. Sam wanted to be on top and Josh was going to let him. The roles of top and bottom are usually set in any relationship, gay or straight. It doesn't mean that one person is more masculine than the other (which most people think it means) just more dominant. It's in their personality. Josh was just a dominant person. And Sam could be as well. Neither of them could work in politics as long as they had, being shy and demure. But with each other, it was different. Both of them always laughed at the memories of the campaign trail when people were discussing who was top and who was bottom.

Josh was always used to being on top, didn't matter if his partner was male or female. He liked being on top, which made his relationship with Ben very interesting. Two tops do not make a bottom, but someone had to be. So when asked, Ben and Josh responded, well balanced. Sam liked being on top with women, but with men he wanted to be a bottom. He just had this feeling that he should be the bottom. He never could explain it. Sam had his moments when he wanted to be the one ultimately in charge. And when he did, Josh ultimately let him.

_**Snoop-**_

_**Handle ya business**_

_**Physical with the fitness**_

_**Can I get a witness?**_

_**Tremendous, splendid**_

_**Ya hittin it and bitten it**_

_**Done that been there**_

_**Out that in there, Yeah**_

Sam reached across Josh to retrieve the lube and condoms from his nightstand. As he did, Josh couldn't help but return the pleasure of the playful slap to his right cheek from earlier. They laughed but before Sam could retrieve those items, Josh tapped his arm and directed Sam to his nightstand. Sam looked then retrieved the lube that was sitting there. He glanced at it, wondering what the difference was between this and what he already had. Sam's was water based. The one Josh brought was oil based. Water based equaled condoms, oil based equaled no condoms.

_**Your sex in the morning it feels so good**_

_**Your sex in the morning it feels so good**_

_**And I'm horny for your body girl**_

_**Wrap your legs around my back**_

_**Get it get it yep, yep, you got it girl**_

Sam's eyebrows rose in question as he looked at Josh. Twelve years of being lovers and not once had they ever been intimate without condoms. Not once. Josh shrugged his shoulders as a suggestion that they should try it. Both men were HIV tested at least once a year at their physicals, with negative statuses every time. And it was pretty clear to them that there would be no other lovers; this was it for them. Why not? Sam nodded and proceeded to prepare his lover.

_**It's in the morning I wanna' touch**_

_**It is in the morning I wanna' love you (I wanna' touch you)**_

_**It's in the morning no interruption**_

_**It's in the morning, sex in the morning**_

Sam's steady fingers gently penetrated Josh's entrance. He relaxed himself and allowed Sam's love to take care of him. Within minutes, Josh was ready, nearly aching to feel Sam inside him. Sam could tell that by the way the inner muscles clenched his fingers. A few seconds later, the lube began to warm up. Josh's mouth opened up in surprise; he didn't read that on the label. It was calming and warm. Sam wondered what was going on in Josh's mind but found out soon enough when his lover began to lube his penis. Sam hummed at the both the sensation of Josh's hand and this new lube.

_**It's in the morning I wanna' touch (I wanna' touch you)**_

_**It's in the morning I wanna' love you (I wanna' love you)**_

Sam positioned himself between Josh's thighs and carefully thrust past the ring of muscle. Josh tensed at the pain, but Sam's kisses encouraged him to relax. And as he did, Sam was able to thrust deeper inside his lover. Grunts and sighs of satisfaction followed from both men. It took a few minutes for Josh to get used to the feel of Sam again and soon the silence of the bedroom was filled with sexy moans and mewls followed by the sexier sounds of skin slapping against skin. Sweat made their bodies slippery and Josh was trying his best to hold on to Sam's hips and lower back. Each thrust made them breathless, cherishing what they missed most being apart- the time to just be.

The sun was peeking through the curtains, bringing a bright but soft glow into the room. Sam could feel his orgasm coming but didn't want to rush Josh. To his surprise, Josh grabbed Sam's hand and placed it on his penis. Sam took the hint and began to stroke him. Josh was so excited that Sam wanted to top that it didn't take long for him to cum. As the sticky white fluid shot up Sam released his inside.

The lovers were covered in sweat, semen and smiles. They were as euphoric as the birds singing about the new day outside the window. Josh pulled Sam down onto his body, eyes intensely gazing into each other. The sticky mess and their sweat didn't bother either of them. They were just content to be in each other's presence.

_**It's in the morning no interruptions (Ooo)**_

_**Sex in the morning, sex in the morning (sex in the morning)**_

**A/N2:** My first two chapters of 2012.


	17. Do you remember?

**Disclaimer: **See intro

**Warning:** See intro

A/N: I am doing my best to update all my stories (and I've started some new ones) but I keep getting stuck on Josh and Sam. Oh well. If you follow any of the others, be patient. I am working on them.

Now to the shout-outs. Well, since no one guessed it, so there aren't any. The twist in chapter 15 was that Josh and Sam, two lawyers with extremely high IQs and awesome vocabularies, never said a single word while making love. Not an easy thing to do. Or so I've heard. :-) But I do thank you for reading it. I really appreciate it. This next chapter is a little nostalgic. I know I said a few chapters ago, no more memories, but this one's kinda important.

Oh, you might want to check out another glimpse into the love and life of Josh and Sam by reading my multi-fic "The Elements and Workings of Mother Nature."

Chapter 16: Do you remember?

Sam walked into the kitchen to see a very domestic Josh standing at the stove, in his pajamas, scrambling eggs. Josh looked at a dressed up Sam as he began to pour them both a cup of coffee.

"Why are you dressed? I thought you'd take the day off since I'm already here." Sam grabbed the bacon from the microwave.

"I had always planned to go to work today. I was just gonna work a half day then pick you up at the airport." Sam kissed a pouting Josh's cheek as he plated up their eggs and toast.

"You really have to go in?"

"Yes baby. Just a couple of meetings. I didn't plan anything big for today, more like busy work." Josh frowned. "I know. If it makes you feel any better I'll probably be bored all day."

"Just a little better. What are our plans for tonight?" Sam sipped his coffee.

"Well, I was thinking we could see what Sal and Rapha sent in that box."

"It's gotta be a bottle of wine." Josh commented. "I'm almost sure of it."

"Maybe we can watch a movie or two? I just want to spend time with you Josh; it's our weekend."

"Sounds like a plan."

"What about you? What are you going to do today?"

"Well, I hadn't planned on spending it alone. I might go back to sleep since I was so lovingly awakened this morning." Josh replied smiling. "What got into _you_ this morning?" Sam took another forkful of eggs.

"I missed you and I just wanted to love you." Sam smiled.

"I missed you too." Josh said as he leaned over and kissed his boyfriend. "And you are more than welcome to love me like that anytime you please."

* * *

Sam walked into the office, smiling and whistling. Several people took notice, wanting to ask but didn't dare after being "held captive" and "tortured" with his side of a sexy conversation. Not Ginger.

"What's got you so happy this morning?" she asked. Sam looked up from the messages he was rifling through and smiled. "Wait…I know that smile. Josh is on his way isn't he?" Sam looked around to see if they were alone. Once he was satisfied that they were, he told her.

"He's already here." Ginger's mouth opened in surprise. "Yep, he surprised me last night. And I, ahem… surprised him this morning."

"Oh boy, I'm not sure I want to know."

"No, you _**definitely**_ don't wanna know."

"You two." She replied, shaking her head. "Congressman Michaels and Remington will be here in ten minutes."

"Good. I hope it won't be a long meeting. Remington tends to drag his point out."

"I thought you were just going over the wording of the bills?"

"Yeah, but you know Ted. He'll practice his speech for the floor on me first. I'm not into critiquing today."

"I'll make sure you get home to Josh on time."

"Thank you Ginger. Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you?" He said as he walked towards his office.

"Not lately but a combination of a few more vacation days and a small raise would speak volumes." She hinted. Sam smiled as he opened his office door.

"We might be able to work something out."

Josh cleaned up the small mess from breakfast and really debated with himself if he wanted to go back to bed or talk a walk. He decided to do both. After showering and changing clothes, he walked around the neighborhood. As Josh walked, he stopped by several house of friends that he and Sam had made over the years. It helped that these people were same sex couples who knew how to keep a secret. One couple was excellent party planners and caterers that Sam often called on to do those large dollar amount donation plate dinners. Josh didn't always have time in a weekend to check in on everybody. As much as he hated social media, Facebook was a great way to keep up with the friends he and Sam had made all over the states and the world. Of course, they had to hide their identities and used the most private of privacy settings. They absolutely didn't accept requests unless they had a relationship with the person. And it was more than just an acquaintance.

After his walk, Josh returned to the house and planted himself in his favorite chair. The plan was to catch up on some TV, but he knew full well that in about fifteen minutes the TV would be watching him. He started out with CSPAN, catching up on what he was missing in D.C. And as if on cue, he dozed off in the middle of someone's speech. That's exactly where Sam found him a few hours later when he was done at the office. Sam took the sweet opportunity to perform the move Holden did to Sean in the movie "Valentine's Day". He took a red rose from the multi-colored bouquet he'd just purchased and gently caressed Josh's left cheek with it. Josh had a blanket across the front of him and his legs were stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles.

Josh's hand came from under the blanket to brush away whatever was messing with his face. Sam waited a minute until Josh's guard was down and did it again. Josh mumbled as he tried again to get whatever was bothering him to stop. Sam smiled as at how funny this was. This time he caressed the right cheek. Josh's shoulder instinctively rose to chase away whatever was intruding his face. Sam couldn't hold in his laugh this time. Josh slowly opened his eyes and looked up above his head to see his handsome Sam laughing at him.

"Whataya doing?" He asked, voice still sitting in sleep.

"Looking at the most beautiful man in the world, whom I love more than anything in this world, asleep in his favorite chair."

"I wasn't sleeping. Iwasjus resting my eyes." Josh replied, trying to hide his yawn.

"Yeah right. Like I didn't know exactly where'd you be when I came home. You chose this chair for its nap-ability baby, remember? I knew that when we bought it."

"Ok. I was sleeping, and pretty good I might add, until something starting messing with my face."

"Oh, you mean this?" Sam asked as he placed the rose in front of Josh's face so he could see it. Josh smiled.

"It's beautiful honey." Then Sam pulled the rest of the bouquet from behind his back, sat on the arm of the large chair and presented them to his lover.

"Well, here are eleven more that are just as beautiful."

"Oh Sam!" Josh's cheeks turned as pink as a few of the roses, loving Sam's surprise. "I'm the one usually buying the flowers."

"I know. I just thought I'd surprise you this time and buy something that represents us. Pink because I appreciate you. Yellow for our friendship. Orange because I desire you and red because I love you."

"That's so sweet if you Sam." Josh said leaning over and kissing Sam. "Thank you baby. They really are beautiful."

"Just like you." They both smiled. "Why don't you find a vase to put those in while I change? Then we'll see what's in the box."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Josh found a large clear glass vase to place his wonderful gifts in and set it on the coffee table so any guests dropping by could see them. They met up in the kitchen and Josh was anxious to see what was in the box. He took it from the fridge and carefully opened it. And he was correct; it was a bottle of red wine. Sam picked up the bottle to check out the label. It was an Italian name and not one he recognized.

"Where's it from?"Josh asked.

"Tuscany, where they're from. Probably a vineyard of someone they know."

"Might be family owned." Josh reached above his head and grabbed two wine glasses from the rack. "Let's see how they did." He said. Sam found the corkscrew and began to uncork the bottle. He poured a little in the glasses so they could taste it.

"Not bad." Sam said. "I like it."

"Me too. I can tell from this sip that it packs a punch though." Josh looked at the bottle and confirmed that it was indeed a forty-year old bottle. "I couldn't drink a glass of this for lunch and make it back to work."

"Or any place else." Sam said as he filled their glasses halfway. "Let's toast."

"Yes, let's." They both held up their glasses. "To life, to love and to us." Josh said.

"To us, to love, for making it twelve years and to as many more as we can handle."

"Here, here." They clinked their glasses together and sealed the toast with a kiss. "Now," Josh said, "let's see what else is in the box." Sam pulled out a slip of paper followed by several vacuum-sealed bags of food.

"No wonder it said refrigerate." Sam commented.

"What's on the paper?"

"Cooking instructions."

"_**To our friends Sam and Josh,**_

_**We cannot be in California with you when you celebrate your anniversary but wanted to send you a gift anyway. Please enjoy the wine. It is from our friend's vineyard in Northern Tuscany. Sal says do not drive after a couple of glasses! Ha-ha. And now, for dinner. If you were here, I would prepare the same meal I prepared for you when you visited our restaurant; it suits the two of you well. Set each of the bags in a pot of boiling water for five to six minutes each, pasta first. Toss them together and serve with a salad. Enjoy!**_

_**Happy Anniversary**_

_**With Love, **_

_**Sal and Raphael"**_

"How cute!" Josh exclaimed.

"I know right? I never expected this. Let's hope we don't mess it up."

"Mess it up? How could we? Everything's seasoned, right?" Sam looked at the sauce and the meat in the sealed bags.

"Looks like it. We can do this." Sam grabbed a pot, filled it with water and turned on the stove. Josh was trying to break down to the box to recycle it and ran into a hidden compartment.

"What's this?" Sam looked over at him.

"What's what?"

"There's a spot here…"Josh opened the compartment, pulled back the cardboard and smiled. "Well, I'm glad I didn't throw the box away."

"What'd you find?"

"Dessert!" Josh held up a small round package about the size of a personal pan pizza. "It looks like cheesecake."

"Oh, you know what…" Sam turned back towards the counter and picked up a sealed bag that held something red. "I bet this is either raspberry or strawberry sauce. I thought it didn't match what we had that day." Josh grabbed the gravy boat from the cabinet and poured in the contents. They each dipped a finger in the sauce.

"Hmm, raspberry."

"Should we warm it up?" Sam nodded.

"Yeah, but not until were ready to eat it."

"So I guess that's my cue to start the salad huh?" Sam nodded again and Josh headed for the fridge.

* * *

Josh was standing in the den, searching through the movies selection on the channel guide, looking for something he and Sam hadn't seen.

"Hey babe, what do you wanna' watch?" He called out. A few seconds later Sam entered with a tray that held two wine glasses and the cheesecake covered in the now warmed raspberry sauce.

"I almost don't care. Anything catching your eye?" he asked as he set the tray down on the coffee table.

"Eh, not really." Just then, the lights flickered. Both men looked up. "Whoa, what was that?"

"I don't know. If it were July, I'd say it might be rolling a brown out but it's March. And yes before you ask, I paid the bill."

"Oh well. How about we check out one of these music channels instead? Maybe we can find a movie tomorrow."

"Not tomorrow, maybe Saturday. I've made plans for us tomorrow."

"Ah, back to the secrets again."

"It's only a secret for another twenty-four hours or so. And you'll love it; I promise." Josh selected a soft rock channel and they sat on the couch to enjoy cheesecake. Sam didn't bother to slice the cake; it was just the two of them. Sam sliced a piece with his fork and held it to Josh's mouth. "You first darling." Josh opened his mouth and took in the first rich creamy taste.

"Mmmm, Sam this is so good. You've gotta taste this."

"Better than a New York cheesecake?"

"_**Way**_ better." Josh fed Sam some and Sam's eyes closed at the deliciousness.

"Wow…that is…wow. That's gotta be the richest cheesecake **ever**. And this raspberry sauce…"

"I know. These can't be regular raspberries or regular sugar. I wonder what else they used."

"I don't know and I don't care. It's beyond delicious." They continued to eat when the lights flickered again. "The lights never do this. What's going on?"

"You think it's the breaker box? Maybe we should go check it." And just as Josh said those words, the lights went out. "Ok. We'll give it a few minutes." Sam reached behind the couch and grabbed their lights out kit.

"Flashlights or candles?" Sam asked.

"Candles are more romantic." Sam found two candlesticks and lit the room. The light they provided was brighter than Sam thought it would be. "What are these magic candles? You didn't even light them."

"They're flameless. They work like flares do. You break them here and they provide light."

"Awesome and very safe."

"Much safer than regular candles. And just as romantic I think." Sam reached into his pocket for his cell phone. "I better call the power company and let them know we don't have lights." Sam went through the menu and surprisingly got a live person. He told her who he was, gave her his address and asked what was going on.

"There has been a bad car accident near a power station Congressman Seaborn. Several poles and lines are down, including the one connecting the power station. There generator has been damaged as well, so they have no power and they can't reset the grid yet. There's no time schedule yet as to when they'll be back on. It will probably be at least morning."

"OK, thanks for letting me know." Sam hung up the phone. "Oh well."

"We can go one night without lights; it won't be that bad."

"I'm not worried about the lights; I'm worried about the heat. We may be in California but it's still winter and the desert gets cold at night."

"We have logs right?"

"Yeah, but I don't know if we have enough."

"We don't have to heat the whole house, just maybe this room and the bedroom."

"Hmm, not looking forward to a cold shower in the morning." Sam said as he indulged in another huge bite of cheesecake.

"Me either."

The two lovers stayed downstairs for a while and after realizing that it just might be morning before the electricity returned, decided to go to bed. Sam sent e-mails out letting everyone know what was going on while reminding them that he would be out of the office. Josh had made two trips upstairs with wood hoping they would have enough to last through the night. Sam had an awesome fireplace in the bedroom but they barely used it because the room was so large. It took a while to heat and even longer to keep warm. Sam kept it clean and properly maintained just in case.

"Well, I called again. No progress yet. I brought the weather radio. After I wind it up we can charge our cell phones for a bit, providing that we don't get a lot of calls. Or texts or emails."

"We could alternate. I think I have some charging blocks in my bag over there."

"Ok, we might need them." Sam was setting the flameless candles on the nightstands and was headed to the bathroom to leave one in there.

"You know I was thinking. We might not need so much wood if we slept closer to the fire." Josh mentioned. Sam thought about it.

"Yeah, but the floor is gonna be hell on your back tomorrow."

"Do you have any objections to moving the mattress closer?"

"Nope. Let's move it."

Fifteen minutes later the couple was ready to settle in for the night, complete with the last of the wine in their glasses. Sam suggested they sleep in long sleeved shirts and socks to help keep warm. "This wine is making me warm. I might have get outta this shirt." Josh said.

"I'm somewhere between tipsy and drunk myself. And leave your shirt on, just in case it doesn't keep you as warm as you think it will."

"Alright, alright." Josh replied. Sam was lying on his back, watching the shadows of the flames on the ceiling. Josh had propped himself up on his right arm, smiling warmly at Sam while stroking his cheek.

"What's got you so smiley?" Sam asked.

"You. Your blue eyes sparkle all the time. You're absolutely beautiful by firelight." Sam chuckled a little.

"Thank you. So are you." He replied as he kissed Josh's hand.

"You know, after all these years together, we've never made love by the fireplace or an open fire."

"Sure we have," Sam said. "The power of the wine is getting to you. Remember that camping trip we went on with…uh Stacy and Dana, Howard and Thomas and Ken and…what was his boyfriend's name?"

"Devin."

"Yes, Devin. Don't you remember? We shared a sleeping bag and we were next to the campfire."

"Now the wine's getting to you. I remember making _out_ next to the campfire; I think we all did. We did share a sleeping bag though, a rather large one. You and I snuggled closer than close 'cause it was super cold that night. We needed warmth." Sam thought, confused look on his face.

"So if we just made out by fire, who ended up making love?"

"I think it was Ken and Devin." They laughed.

"Speaking of remembering…do you remember the first time we ever slept together?" Sam asked.

"Absolutely." Josh replied and he moved closer to his lover, placing his hand on Sam's chest. "We were on a campaign stop in St. Louis. I think we had a three day stay, which was like a week off in campaign speak."

"True."

"We finally had been assigned to the same room."

"And the only other person who was happier than we were was Toby."

"Yep. I remember that day was very grueling. Our relationship was still new and we were trying to find ways to be around each other. We were so used to rooming with other people, that you forgot that we could sleep in the same bed." Sam laughed. "I was l like 'What are you doing? We finally get a room to ourselves and you're gonna make me sleep alone?' You were asleep before your head hit the pillow."

"Yeah. I had the greatest feeling when I woke up though, being enveloped in your arms."

"Nose buried in my chest."

"It was cold. And you smelled good." Sam defended. "Do you remember our first time?" Josh took a deep sigh.

"Like it was yesterday. We were in the original Sin City…"

"New Orleans Louisiana."

"Yep, again assigned to the same room. Another few days in a city. Everybody was going out to dinner and we just wanted to be alone. We had some time and we decided to take our relationship to the next level."

"I was so glad we did." Sam said as he snuggled closer.

"Me too." Josh kissed him. "I found food and sent you out for supplies and beer."

"It was a nice night and we ate on the hotel patio, where the garden was."

"It was a nice patio too wasn't it? And although I didn't want to go, I think meeting everyone at the bar down the street was a good idea."

"Hurricanes. Those drinks were somewhat dangerous. Good thing we shared one; I don't think we would have been able to make it back if we'd had one each."

"I don't think so either. I wish we had been able to hold hands while there. It was the perfect place. I still wonder of we could have gotten away with it."

"We made up for it though." Sam said smiling.

"We sure did. I remember once we got back to the room, we debated on whether we should hang the do-not-disturb sign on the door." Josh said.

"Well, some people probably figured out what we were doing anyway. I just didn't want to be disturbed you know? It was going to be a special night for us."Josh pulled Sam closer gently kissing him.

"I loved the way you pinned me to the wall and started kissing me. It was hot."

"Was it?" Sam whispered.

"It's always hot when you kiss me."

"Maybe that'll keep us warm tonight." Sam said as he placed his arms around Josh, reaching up to kiss him fully, tongues teasing each other. Josh's hand found its way up the back of Sam's shirt, making loving caressing circles. It didn't take long for their minds to go back to the moment.

New Orleans, LA Bartlet Campaign Trail…

Josh's hands slid down Sam's back to cup his buttocks as they kissed, passionately and hungrily against the wall. Sam's lips found their way to Josh's neck and he opened Josh's shirt more so no one could see the passion marks he was about to leave on his soon to be lover. Josh's pulse could be felt under Sam's lips along with the moans that were vibrating from his throat.

"My god…" Josh managed to whisper.

"You like that, huh?"

"Shit Sam what kinda question is that?" Josh moaned as Sam traced the spot with his tongue, and then blew on it. Josh whimpered. "Of course I…mmm… damn you and that talented tongue…" Sam stood back, looked at Josh and smirked.

"Come with me." Sam whispered as he took Josh's hand and led him to the bed. "Let me show you how talented my tongue really is." Sam unzipped Josh's pants and palmed him through his boxers. Josh ground his hips in response to Sam's hand. Sam's middle finger traced the tip of the erect penis, causing Josh to moan loudly.

"I thought you were going to show me your tongue?"

"Ah, patience grasshopper, patience. Why don't you take your pants off for me?" Josh undid the button while Sam took a few things out the shopping bag. He decided to take his shirt off, Josh whistling at his abs.

"I love having a sexy boyfriend!"

"You're gonna love me even more in a few minutes." Sam pushed a nearly naked Josh into a sitting position on the bed and kneeled in front of him, eye level with the erect penis his mouth was beginning to water for. Sam began with gentle kisses and licks all over Josh's penis. Between licks, sucks and kisses Sam decided to ask a question.

"Do you realize…" (lick up one side and down the other) "…that from all our conversations we've ever had about sex…" (gentle sucking on the penis head). Josh whimpered at the action. "…none of them have been about us having sex?" Josh looked down and met lustful but curious blues eyes.

"What's that babe?"

"We've never talked about us having sex. I have no clue what you want."

"I got no complaints right now."

"Josh…" Sam let out a frustrated sigh. "I mean, I like to bottom with men and I know you like to be on top. Do you want to be a top with me?" Josh paused. Sam was right. Of all the college boy sexual adventure stories, they have never really talked about what they wanted from each other as lovers. They had never been attracted to each other before, so there was no reason to ask. Now things were different. Sam had now taken Josh wholly into his mouth, penis tip caressing the back of his throat.

"Uh…" Josh moaned. "I…Ummm…can you ask me that in a few minutes...shit…" Sam got the hint and continued his ministrations. Josh ran his fingers through Sam's hair as he rocked his hips in response to Sam's tongue. After a few minutes, Josh reluctantly made Sam stop by tapping his hand. Sam looked up at a smiling Josh who was leaning forward to give Sam a kiss.

"You made me stop."

"Yeah, we have all night baby." Josh said winking. Sam stood up and Josh finished undressing him.

"You didn't answer my question." Sam said as his now naked body crawled onto the bed.

"Well, it's a pretty safe bet that I like the way you kiss me." Josh said as his took his shirt off and joined his boyfriend. Sam's hand began caressing Josh's body with gentle, sweet strokes. Josh responded in kind with kisses to Sam's lips and face that eventually travelled to his chest. "I like the way you're touching me now. I'm not picky baby. Whatever you feel you need to do to make us feel good, I'm ok with it." Sam looked him in the eyes. "I'm serious Sam. I love you and whatever you want to do is fine with me. If you want to tie me up and coat me in honey, I'm game."

"I wouldn't do your _whole _body in honey. Maybe your nipples."

"Mmm…"

"And your penis." Josh's penis twitched with excitement. "Maybe down your back?"

"Down to the crack?"

"Yea, all the way down…" Sam's hand travelled to Josh's butt crack. "…and in between the cheeks and over the hole, so I could lick it all clean."

"Damn…sexy, sexy, sexy." Josh whispered as his lips attacked Sam's and Sam's fingers were playing around Josh's hole.

Josh loved that they finally had a chance to be naked together. Kisses and hands were everywhere, feeling everything. Sam loved it when Josh sucked his nipples; it made his penis feel harder each time his lips touched them. Josh was loved the way Sam responded to him. It was more than just sex, it was special. It was as if their bodies were designed for each other. Every kiss and caress seemed more than just right. Josh couldn't put it in words. Neither could Sam. It was as if the physical intimacy in their previous relationships was nothing; nothing to compare.

The kisses continued, both men with sexy kiss-swollen lips. Sam loved Josh's mouth on him. His nipples, his shoulders, on his thighs, his penis. Several times the ecstasy was almost overwhelming for him. Sensory overload was a good description. Josh had reached for the lube and had started stroking Sam, preparing him for what was next. Sam grabbed Josh's hand as he rode it; the passion was almost too much for him.

"You sound so sexy…"Josh commented on the sounds Sam was making. Josh was more than ready to participate in consummating this relationship. He slowly pulled his fingers from Sam's hole, much to Sam's disappointment. However, Sam was assured he was going to love what was coming next.

Covered in a condom and lube, Josh's penis found its way inside Sam. It was tight fit; Sam hadn't been with a man in over ten years. He and Lisa had been together for seven of those ten. Josh groaned at the feelings Sam's muscles were creating as he adjusted to Josh's size.

"Damn, you feel so good!" Josh exclaimed.

"You're thicker than I imagined." Sam replied as he could feel himself relax into Josh's strokes.

"Thick is good, yes?"

"Hell yes! Thick is…Ummm…very good…" Sam replied as he moaned. Josh was picking up speed in his rhythm. Sam's hands collected around Josh's waist. He whispered his lover's name but it's wasn't a passion filled whisper. Josh slowed his rhythm.

"Everything ok Sam? Did I do something wrong? Am I hurting you?"

"No, everything is wonderful." Sam replied as he placed his hand on Josh's face, kissing his lips. "I love the way you feel inside me."

"Then what's wrong?" Sam's eyes seemed dark, almost concerned. Josh caressed Sam's cheek. "Don't be afraid to tell me baby. I wanna make sure this is night is everything we want it to be."

"I want you to slow down."  
"Slow down? Why?"

"We're on a presidential candidate's campaign tour. I don't know when we'll get the chance to be together again for a few minutes, let alone a few days. I know we have tonight…but I want to you slow down because I want to cherish everything, I want to remember. I want my body and heart to remember for those times when we're apart."

"Yeah, I can do that baby."

Santa Ana, CA 

The boyfriends were naked on their makeshift bed, sheets and several blankets enveloping them. Sam's legs encircled Josh's waist as his fingers nestled in Josh's hair, their lovemaking keeping them warm. Josh's lips sought Sam's, warm breath caressing Sam's cheek as his lips moved from the passion mark he'd just left on his lover's shoulder. Josh was buried to the hilt inside Sam, hitting that special spot making his lover constantly call and moan his name. Josh moved Sam's legs up so that his ankles were resting on Josh's shoulders, filling Sam even more (if that were possible). Sam's hands found Josh's face in the candlelight, making it easier for their lips to find each other. Josh moaned into the kiss, loving the moment. A breathless Sam whispered and gazed into his lover's eyes.

"Josh?" Josh's brown eyes met loving blue ones.

"Hmmm?"

"Slow for me?" Josh smiled at the request. He knows how much Sam loves the slow stroke and Sam knows how much Josh loves to give it to him.

"Anything for you baby." Josh slowly pulled out as Sam sweetly smiled, anticipating what he was about to feel. Two slow strokes and Sam's legs began to shake from pleasure as they slid from Josh's shoulders back to his waist. His whimper was barely audible.

"…mmm…yes…" Two more strokes and Sam's arms began to shake. His eyes were rolling in the back of his head from ecstasy.

"I love to see you like this…" Josh whispered, "I love to see you coming undone."

"Don't stop." Josh was grinding and nearly digging into that special spot, bringing Sam closer to orgasm. Their fingers intertwined as Josh leaned in. "Ahhhh…Josh…" He could hear Sam's voice shake.

"Oh my god…Sam this feels incredible…" Josh was nearing his own orgasm but he knew Sam wasn't ready yet. Sam was sucking on Josh's neck, feeling the inside warmth spread through his body. Making love without the aid of condoms was proving to be more pleasure than they bargained for. The intensity was overwhelming.

The breathless lovers soon became speechless lovers as the fire of lovemaking consumed them both. Of all the years they had been together, only one other lovemaking session had felt that great, that high- the first time. After resting his head on Sam's shoulder, Josh was finally able to look at Sam. Tears filled his eyes.

"Babe?" Josh whispered. "Everything ok?" Sam nodded.

"Everything is perfect."

"You sure?" Sam placed his hands on each side of Josh's face and smiled at him.

"I love you so much right now Joshua Avery Lyman…" he replied sniffling a little. "I don't even know if saying 'I love you' is enough to describe how I really feel." Josh was taken back by that statement. "I'm so happier than I thought I could ever be at this point in my life. I'm…so grateful that I have someone to love me that I can love back." Sam wiped a few tears away. "I'm so blessed to be in love right now, and with my best friend." Josh wiped some of Sam's tears away.

"I made a promise that when we got back together I would be the best boyfriend, lover, friend, whatever you needed me to be. I didn't want to hurt you anymore."

"Well, my darling you have met and exceeded my expectations. I don't think I could live my life without you anymore than I could live without air or water."

"I feel the same way. I love you too Sam. And I need you in more ways than I even know."

The end of the night found the two lovers, nestled in each other's arms, the fireplace providing the only noise in the room. Josh chuckled to himself that he'd probably wake up with Sam's nose tucked into the crook of his underarm or right against his chest. So he bundled them up a little tighter in their blanket cocoon. Sam smiled at the gesture and snuggled closer. Josh thought he was asleep.

_I can't wait until we can do this all the time_, Sam thought. _I love this feeling_.


End file.
